The Best 19 Laboratory Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Laboratory jokes. There are some laboratory biologist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these laboratory conduct puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Laboratory Jokes and Puns

In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero

but he's 0k now.

Either way, the results are not good

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.

It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.

'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'

'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.

He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.

Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.

'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..

Laboratory joke, King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.

What an Idea..!!!

My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory.

Why didn't I think of that?

I recently had sex with a biologist at her laboratory.

I don't like to brag, but she had multiple organisms.


In one episode of Dexter's Laboratory, Dexter fires Dee-Dee because.....

....he can't focus properly when she distracts him. So he hires this pretty blonde girl to mimic Dee-Dee, and he asks her "I want to see you dance" "That'll be 50$ extra" Took me awhile to figure that one out

At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject?

Lab rat Tory

Laboratory joke, At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject?

I walked up to a Chinese laboratory and confidently knocked on the door.

WHO's there.

What do you call funny laboratory equipment?

A comical flask.

An intern is "spanking it" in the laboratory.

A scientist walks into the lab and catches the intern. He is in shock. "What on Earth are you doing?" he asks. The intern does not stop. He takes notes with his other hand and watches the hydrogen ionize. The scientist comes to the conclusion that the intern and the hydrogen are meant for each other; they are both in the excited state.

I hear they're using lawyers in laboratory testing instead of rats..

apparently you don't get that attached to them as you do with the rats.

You can explore laboratory pathology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean laboratory cern dad jokes. There are also laboratory puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Legal Humor

A recent news headline indicated that lawyers were now being used as experimental test subjects in place of laboratory rats. I read further because this just didn't seem right, but the story gave several very solid reasons for the substitution of lawyers for rats.

First: There are more of them.

Second: The researchers had a tendency to become attached to the laboratory rats.

Third: There are just some things you can't get a rat to do.

Is it wrong to murder a judge and replace him with an obedient laboratory clone?

Let's let this judge decide.

Why did the nuclear physicist miss the laboratory meeting?

Because he was gone fission.

Two women are partners at a science laboratory

They both work together and create a breakthrough in modern science.
Their boyfriends receive this news while they are both at the bar together.
One boyfriend turns to the other and says,
"Dude, we're fuckin' geniuses."

WMD

Donald Trump says intelligence points to Covid-19's origins in a Chinese laboratory. Now, i'm not saying that it wasn't developed in a Chinese lab, and i'm not saying that his intelligence agency's could be wrong. But i do have one question - Have we found the Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq yet?

Laboratory joke, WMD

What do you call a laboratory monkey that went through a meat grinder?

Rhesus pieces.

I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory.

Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?

I'm quite positive about my laboratory results.

HIV positive.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the laboratory beaker jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working laboratory specimens piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes