Laboratory Jokes
25 laboratory jokes and hilarious laboratory puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about laboratory that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out these jokes related to medical, clinical, and chemistry laboratories! Perfect for Halloween or any lab themed gathering, these jokes will have you and your friends laughing about organisms, tests and pathology.
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Funniest Laboratory Short Jokes
Short laboratory jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The laboratory humour may include short science lab jokes also.
- In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero but he's 0k now.
- What an Idea..!!! My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory.
Why didn't I think of that? - I hear they're using lawyers in laboratory testing instead of rats.. apparently you don't get that attached to them as you do with the rats.
- Where did the microbiologist go after receiving his PhD? ...to a cell-laboratory gathering
- I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory. Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?
- My kitchen cabinet got attacked by a genetically-modified laboratory spider last night. I have four Super Bowls now.
*grin* - Stay depressed. Don't look at the bright side. It was written on the Laser laboratory wall.
- TIFU mixing chemicals in the laboratory Combining Uranium with Titanium Flouride was a huge mistake
- I recently had s**... with a biologist at her laboratory. I don't like to brag, but she had multiple organisms.
- Is it wrong to m**... a judge and replace him with an obedient laboratory clone? Let's let this judge decide.
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Laboratory One Liners
Which laboratory one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with laboratory? I can suggest the ones about chemistry lab and labour.
- At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject? Lab rat Tory
- I walked up to a Chinese laboratory and confidently knocked on the door. WHO's there.
- What do you call funny laboratory equipment? A comical flask.
- Why did the nuclear physicist miss the laboratory meeting? Because he was gone fission.
- What do you call a laboratory monkey that went through a meat grinder? Rhesus pieces.
- What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces. - What do you call a blender full of laboratory monkeys? Rhesus pieces.
- I'm quite positive about my laboratory results. h**... positive.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Laboratory Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about laboratory you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean classroom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make laboratory pranks.
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
Either way, the results are not good
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Speaking.'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for h**.... We can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'
Dean, to the physics department:
"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
In one episode of Dexter's Laboratory, Dexter fires Dee-Dee because.....
....he can't focus properly when she distracts him. So he hires this pretty blonde girl to mimic Dee-Dee, and he asks her "I want to see you dance" "That'll be 50$ extra" Took me awhile to figure that one out
Research
Guy in a bar reading the newspaper: Wow. Listen to this! A 'highly regarded research laboratory' was just found to be using lawyers instead of rats.
Barman: Why would they do that? Aren't lawyers a lot more expensive?
Guy: Sure, but there are some things even a rat won't do.
An intern is "spanking it" in the laboratory.
A scientist walks into the lab and catches the intern. He is in shock. "What on Earth are you doing?" he asks. The intern does not stop. He takes notes with his other hand and watches the hydrogen ionize. The scientist comes to the conclusion that the intern and the hydrogen are meant for each other; they are both in the excited state.
Legal Humor
A recent news headline indicated that lawyers were now being used as experimental test subjects in place of laboratory rats. I read further because this just didn't seem right, but the story gave several very solid reasons for the substitution of lawyers for rats.
First: There are more of them.
Second: The researchers had a tendency to become attached to the laboratory rats.
Third: There are just some things you can't get a rat to do.
Two women are partners at a science laboratory
They both work together and create a breakthrough in modern science.
Their boyfriends receive this news while they are both at the bar together.
One boyfriend turns to the other and says,
"Dude, we're f**...' geniuses."
