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Label Jokes

84 label jokes and hilarious label puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about label that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Ever wondered about the funny warning labels or made-up ingredients printed on food? This article will explore the best label jokes, ranging from fictitious black label and red label to creative label maker jokes. Laugh and learn with Wills' Chug Dresser and his crafty label puns.

Funniest Label Short Jokes

Short label jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The label humour may include short marker jokes also.

  1. The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
    I'm so glad they dug it up just in time
  2. The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment, when they discover a hard drive labelled KGB . One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?
  3. I switched all the labels on my wife spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet.... but the thyme is cumin.
  4. A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
  5. Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.
  6. Argued with a shop assistant and she hit me with her labeling gun. Now there's a price on my head.
  7. Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wifes spice rack. So far, she hasn't noticed. Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.
  8. How do we know the toothbrush was invented in west virginia? if it was invented anywhere else it would be the teethbrush
  9. The multiple times I talk to God it's called praying But the one time God talks back to me I'm labeled as a schizophrenic
  10. Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides. Finally, some self awareness.

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Label One Liners

Which label one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with label? I can suggest the ones about tags and legend.

  1. I hate being labeled as a "narcissist" Like how? I'm perfect in every way.
  2. According to this nutrition label... I am a family of four
  3. What do nutrition labels and tumblr have in common? They're both full of trans fats
  4. What do you call an incorrectly labeled bottle of orange juice? Pulp fiction
  5. What is Beethoven's favorite record label? Def Jam Records
  6. Blonde girl was staring at a bottle of juice... Because the label said "concentrate."
  7. My girlfriend asked me what tattoo I think she should get... A warning label.
  8. I'm sure my girlfriend is cheating on me Even the label in her underwear says Next!
  9. On the label it says, "PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY " Well, I've got my seat belt on....
  10. There is only one true way to check virginity Check the label on the back of the bottle
  11. What would have been Beethoven's record label? Deaf Jam.
  12. If Excel had a record label.... It would be Excel ENT.
    I'll see myself out.
  13. Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
  14. My dad has Parkinson's medication. His medication is labeled shake well before use
  15. The label on my Yoohoo says "shake good". I respectfully disagree.

Warning Label Jokes

Here is a list of funny warning label jokes and even better warning label puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The best way to tell if you're in California Is to look up at the sun, and see if there is a may cause cancer warning label on it.
  • Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label... It says:
    Warning - May contain traces of nuts.
  • Alcohol and cigarettes have warning labels because they are addictive, dangerous, and destroy lives. And yet women are allowed to just roam around.
  • I'm not saying let's go kill all the s**... people I'm just
    saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
  • I bought a new mattress and reached for the s**... label to tear it off. But I saw the federal warning, and couldn't decide if I should leave it or get rid of it. I decided to sleep on it.
  • Warning labels are s**.... I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, "Avoid contact with eyes" TOO LATE, I'd already seen it

Black Label Jokes

Here is a list of funny black label jokes and even better black label puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The Mexican in the Chinese storee A Mexican walks into a Chinese store.
    He sees a labeled bottle of black liquid on the counter. He reads it and says, "You are!"
  • Upon entering a Chinese restaurant, some Mexicans see several small bottles of black liquid on a table, o**... picks up a bottle, looks at the label and says, "Yes, you are."
Label joke, Upon entering a Chinese restaurant, some Mexicans see several small bottles of black liquid on a tab

Red Label Jokes

Here is a list of funny red label jokes and even better red label puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I always try to drink whiskey that's older than the women I sleep with It sound impressive and all, until I'm seen drinking red label
  • WOW, the RED LABEL rates to the moon... ...are Astronomical...

Record Label Jokes

Here is a list of funny record label jokes and even better record label puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Who polices the police? Their record label.
  • Why didn't Al Green's record label let him put a n**... pic of himself on the cover? They said they need an Al-b**... cover.

Food Label Jokes

Here is a list of funny food label jokes and even better food label puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A huge load of medications has been confiscated in Africa... ... they all bore the 'Take with food' label
Label joke, A huge load of medications has been confiscated in Africa...

Howlingly Hilarious Label Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about label you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make label pranks.

A Guy is Walking Through a Marina

He looks over and sees a Boat with AMB on the prow.
As he's thinking about it....
American ships are called USS...United States Ship
British are called HMS...Her Majesty's Ship
For the life of him he could not place what AMB would stand for.
So he calls down to the gentleman standing on the boat:
"Excuse me but what does the label "AMB" stand for?"
The guy looks up and yells, "ATSA MY BOAT!!!"

A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all...

Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide...

I bought a box of animal crackers...

I bought a box of animal crackers and the label said, "Do not eat if seal is broken."
I open the box and sure enough...

I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such

I was involved in very organized crime

What do you call a tattoo on a librarian's back?

A spine label

Africa

The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said "take after a meal".
Sorry.

Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave..

And so he did..
Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts

I always have to throw out my animal crackers.

They always have that label: "Do not eat if seal is broken".

I always get told off when introducing my wife...

Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate.

A man goes in a tobacco shop...

and asks for a packet of cigarettes. The owner gives him one with the following warning label:
"Smoking causes erectile dysfunction".
So the man says:
"Whaaaat!!! Take that back and give me one with lung cancer! "

An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar

and the bartender says "I don't even know how to label you!"

I don't think it's correct to call them grammar n**... anymore...

They seem to prefer the label "alt-write" nowadays.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

NASA says they've found organic material on Mars...

...but they're probably just putting 'organic ' on the label so they can mark up the prices by 200%

Labelling cows

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What about one with 3 legs? That's lean beef.
What about one with 2 legs? That's just you.

I made a joke a few years ago, I want to know if it's funny...

Here it is :-
The label of a medicine bottle read, "Store in a cool and DARK place."
After thinking for a while, I placed it on my study table.

Wife: I'm going to the store, do you want anything?

Husband: Babe, you know, I've been craving sense of meaning and purpose in life. I can really use some fulfillment and completeness to my soul. I want to connect to god and discover the spiritual side of me.
Wife: Can you be more specific? Black Label or Chivas?

I don't understand why people keep going after Trump for Russian ties

All of his ties are made in China, just look at the label!

Eminem, 50 Cent and Andre from Outkast get together to produce a new single.

50 Cent says, 'I'll make the beat.'
Eminem says, 'I'll release it on my label and deal with the promo.'
Andre says, 'I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write'

Today, in math class, we had to label triangles.

I would tell you the answers, but they're all classified now.

The world is full of lies and deception:

The label on the door said "Ladies" but there was just a toilet.

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

Instead of working out, I'm just going to get a label maker.

I'll label my scale "1-10", then every time I step on it I'll be reminded that on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 220.

How can you tell if your partner has slept around a lot?

When the label in their underwear says "Next"

A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.

No, argues the assistant, look at the label – it says Taiwan.

The American view of the world is too self-centered...

I mean on maps they literally label their country "US."

Son: Dad, what are this 'trans fats" given on the label?

Dad: Trans fats are both groups of people you can't make fun of.

A cow crossing a street sees a glove in ground. All ashamed and blushing goes:

Oh my god. Who's bra is this
NOTE: It's a dad joke but I didn't know how to make a #DadJoke label. So consider yourself warned.

Two men are organizing a herd of deer.

Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Seeing as the had 26 deer, they decided to label each one with a letter of the alphabet. As they're herding them into an enclosure, they realize they only had 25.
One of them's missing, said the first man.
Oh dear.

I swear I've had this brand of brothy sandwich dip, before!

Never mind, label says it's just Dave's Au Jus.

My office has had three label makers stolen in the past week.

We suspect it's connected to organized crime.

just threw out a bag of shredded cheese.

the label said "since 1904"... there's no way it was still good to eat

She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

It is not polite to call people w**...

The proper label is white non-recyclables

Yeah ok it's not great but it's what I got

Bought some high strength lager. On the label it says Please drink responsibly.

Well, I've got my seat belt on...

The other day, I ran out of apple juice

But I had a big box full of apples at home, so I thought I would try to make some myself.
I stared at that box for over an hour and nothing happened. Then I looked at the empty juice bottle again, and on the label it said "not from concentrate."
Boy did I feel foolish

The Truth About My Jokes

It has recently been brought to my attention that many of the jokes I tell my friends, family and peers can be classified as 'Dad jokes.' Moreover, it turns out that most of the people I share these with don't actually enjoy them, they've just given up on me stopping at this point.
Two things: First, I'm not a father, so I don't think that label quite qualifies. However, second, if we grant that it does, considering the negative response towards my jokes.
Are they faux pas?

I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt

Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022

Label joke, I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt

jokes about label