Label Jokes
77 label jokes and hilarious label puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about label that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ever wondered about the funny warning labels or made-up ingredients printed on food? This article will explore the best label jokes, ranging from fictitious black label and red label to creative label maker jokes. Laugh and learn with Wills' Chug Dresser and his crafty label puns.
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Funniest Label Short Jokes
Short label jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The label humour may include short marker jokes also.
- The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
I'm so glad they dug it up just in time - I switched all the labels on my wife spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet.... but the thyme is cumin.
- A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- Argued with a shop assistant and she hit me with her labeling gun. Now there's a price on my head.
- The multiple times I talk to God it's called praying But the one time God talks back to me I'm labeled as a schizophrenic
- Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides. Finally, some self awareness.
- I have a jar in my garage labeled, "My Bachelor Years." It's filled with a bunch of random screws.
- I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"
- I was at the dollar store and saw balloons labeled $1 a piece. I grabbed 3 and went to the cashier who told me the total was $5.28. I guess that's the price of inflation
- I always get told off when introducing my wife... Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate.
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Label One Liners
Which label one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with label? I can suggest the ones about legend and lass.
- I hate being labeled as a "narcissist" Like how? I'm perfect in every way.
- According to this nutrition label... I am a family of four
- What do nutrition labels and tumblr have in common? They're both full of trans fats
- What do you call an incorrectly labeled bottle of orange juice? Pulp fiction
- What is Beethoven's favorite record label? Def Jam Records
- My girlfriend asked me what tattoo I think she should get... A warning label.
- I'm sure my girlfriend is cheating on me Even the label in her underwear says Next!
- There is only one true way to check virginity Check the label on the back of the bottle
- If Excel had a record label.... It would be Excel ENT.
I'll see myself out. - My dad has Parkinson's medication. His medication is labeled shake well before use
- The label on my Yoohoo says "shake good". I respectfully disagree.
- I hate labels I which there was a name for that
- My lady friend keeps calling me an alcoholic Good thing we're not supposed to use labels
- What do you call a tattoo on a librarian's back? A spine label
- What's the only product label anyone would get excited by? Maid in France
Warning Label Jokes
Here is a list of funny warning label jokes and even better warning label puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The best way to tell if you're in California Is to look up at the sun, and see if there is a may cause cancer warning label on it.
- Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label... It says:
Warning - May contain traces of nuts.
Red Label Jokes
Here is a list of funny red label jokes and even better red label puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I always try to drink whiskey that's older than the women I sleep with It sound impressive and all, until I'm seen drinking red label
- WOW, the RED LABEL rates to the moon... ...are Astronomical...
Record Label Jokes
Here is a list of funny record label jokes and even better record label puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who polices the police? Their record label.
Food Label Jokes
Here is a list of funny food label jokes and even better food label puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A huge load of medications has been confiscated in Africa... ... they all bore the 'Take with food' label
Howlingly Hilarious Label Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about label you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean headline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make label pranks.
A Guy is Walking Through a Marina
He looks over and sees a Boat with AMB on the prow.
As he's thinking about it....
American ships are called USS...United States Ship
British are called HMS...Her Majesty's Ship
For the life of him he could not place what AMB would stand for.
So he calls down to the gentleman standing on the boat:
"Excuse me but what does the label "AMB" stand for?"
The guy looks up and yells, "ATSA MY BOAT!!!"
A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all...
Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide...
I bought a box of animal crackers...
I bought a box of animal crackers and the label said, "Do not eat if seal is broken."
I open the box and sure enough...
Africa
The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said "take after a meal".
Sorry.
Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave..
And so he did..
Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts
I always have to throw out my animal crackers.
They always have that label: "Do not eat if seal is broken".
An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar
and the bartender says "I don't even know how to label you!"
I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items.
I said, "Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"
He said, "No man, clay chair."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why didn't Al Green's record label let him put a n**... pic of himself on the cover?
They said they need an Al-b**... cover.
What label do you see on every box of lawyers?
Contents may have settled during shipping.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought a new mattress and reached for the s**... label to tear it off. But I saw the federal warning, and couldn't decide if I should leave it or get rid of it.
I decided to sleep on it.
Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method
The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.
NASA says they've found organic material on Mars...
...but they're probably just putting 'organic ' on the label so they can mark up the prices by 200%
Labelling cows
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What about one with 3 legs? That's lean beef.
What about one with 2 legs? That's just you.
I made a joke a few years ago, I want to know if it's funny...
Here it is :-
The label of a medicine bottle read, "Store in a cool and DARK place."
After thinking for a while, I placed it on my study table.
I'm not a pessimist.
Only because I don't deserve a label.
I don't understand why people keep going after Trump for Russian ties
All of his ties are made in China, just look at the label!
Eminem, 50 Cent and Andre from Outkast get together to produce a new single.
50 Cent says, 'I'll make the beat.'
Eminem says, 'I'll release it on my label and deal with the promo.'
Andre says, 'I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write'
Today, in math class, we had to label triangles.
I would tell you the answers, but they're all classified now.
The world is full of lies and deception:
The label on the door said "Ladies" but there was just a toilet.
If I owned an avocado farm
I would label the container for all the good avocados "Avocados" and the container for all the bad avocados "Avocadon'ts".
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
Instead of working out, I'm just going to get a label maker.
I'll label my scale "1-10", then every time I step on it I'll be reminded that on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 220.
How can you tell if your partner has slept around a lot?
When the label in their underwear says "Next"
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
No, argues the assistant, look at the label – it says Taiwan.
I'm always amazed when I see a label saying "Made in China"
How can so many large things be made inside China dishes?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the label on a bag of w**...?
A #.
Why did the puppy lose marks in his math exam?
He forgot to label his ruff week work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roommate: Where did you put the label maker?
Me: In the drawer labelled s**...-stuff
The American view of the world is too self-centered...
I mean on maps they literally label their country "US."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son: Dad, what are this 'trans fats" given on the label?
Dad: Trans fats are both groups of people you can't make fun of.
A cow crossing a street sees a glove in ground. All ashamed and blushing goes:
Oh my god. Who's bra is this
NOTE: It's a dad joke but I didn't know how to make a #DadJoke label. So consider yourself warned.
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Seeing as the had 26 deer, they decided to label each one with a letter of the alphabet. As they're herding them into an enclosure, they realize they only had 25.
One of them's missing, said the first man.
Oh dear.
I swear I've had this brand of brothy sandwich dip, before!
Never mind, label says it's just Dave's Au Jus.
My office has had three label makers stolen in the past week.
We suspect it's connected to organized crime.
just threw out a bag of shredded cheese.
the label said "since 1904"... there's no way it was still good to eat
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It is not polite to call people w**...
The proper label is white non-recyclables
Yeah ok it's not great but it's what I got
The other day, I ran out of apple juice
But I had a big box full of apples at home, so I thought I would try to make some myself.
I stared at that box for over an hour and nothing happened. Then I looked at the empty juice bottle again, and on the label it said "not from concentrate."
Boy did I feel foolish
The Truth About My Jokes
It has recently been brought to my attention that many of the jokes I tell my friends, family and peers can be classified as 'Dad jokes.' Moreover, it turns out that most of the people I share these with don't actually enjoy them, they've just given up on me stopping at this point.
Two things: First, I'm not a father, so I don't think that label quite qualifies. However, second, if we grant that it does, considering the negative response towards my jokes.
Are they faux pas?
I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt
Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022
