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Lab Jokes

141 lab jokes and hilarious lab puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lab that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out this selection of lab jokes, featuring jokes about chemistry labs, cath labs, chocolate labs, and more! Whether you're rocking a medical lab or a science lab, no chloride or beaker necessary - get ready to laugh!

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Popular Lab Short Jokes

Short lab jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lab humour may include short test jokes also.

  1. My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results... ... speak for themselves
  2. I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
  3. A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
  4. A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.
  5. My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
  6. Pierre Curie walks into his lab and says to his wife: "Marie, everyday you look more radiant." [could be a repost]
  7. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  8. What do you get when you cross a bat and a man? A ban. Specifically, a lifetime ban from the genetics labs, as well as a visit from the ethics committee.
  9. Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog? They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.
  10. My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells.

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Lab One Liners

Which lab one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lab? I can suggest the ones about chloride and beaker.

  1. What do you call a scientist that snitches on you ? A lab rat
  2. My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer.
  3. What kind of dog does a chemist have? A lab.
  4. Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium
  5. How do you get to a position of power in a science lab? Work over time
  6. Technology will never replace human beings! Lab-grown meat just isn't the same.
  7. What's something a good scientist or a bad pet owner would say? I'll be in my lab
  8. What's a scientist's favorite type of dog? A lab.
  9. At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject? Lab rat Tory
  10. I asked my lab partner if he has the sodium hypobromite He said NaBrO.
  11. Why did Cruella De Vil become a scientist? Because she wanted to wear a lab coat.
  12. I was trying to do some research on human and dog relationships But I got stuck in my lab
  13. Now that Bob's retired from the cloning lab... he doesn't know what to do with himself.
  14. Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated
  15. How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair? Through a Lab-bra-door.

Chemistry Lab Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry lab jokes and even better chemistry lab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.
  • My chemistry teacher exploded when he caught me goofing around in the lab I accidentally made nitroglycerin.
  • If you're not supposed to eat in a chemistry lab Then why do most of the elements end in yum?
  • I was in chemistry class with my lab partner... ...and asked him if he wanted some sodium bromide, but to my disappointment, he said
    NaBro
  • A chemistry lab is like a rave some drop acid and some drop base.
  • Why are chemistry labs a good workout? Because they make you Buffer.
  • Why did Dyslexic Noah dies in the chemistry lab? He thought that the bottle labels NaOH is his water bottle.
  • A German chemistry student holds up a small vial of HCn. The professor asks him if he's done with the lab.
    He says, "Yes, professor, this is my final solution."
  • I was walking in a chemistry lab. I tripped on some acid.
  • What's the best type of table for a chemistry lab Holmes? Elementy, dear Watson.

Science Lab Jokes

Here is a list of funny science lab jokes and even better science lab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you know that there's a breed of dog who loves science? You can tell which one it is because they're always wearing a lab coat.
  • I broke into a science lab and made some toast. Eating it made me really sick… I guess I'm just lab-toast-intolerant
  • The double slit experiment proved one of the strangest hypotheses in science College chicks will do anything if you wear a lab coat and act smart.
  • I work at a science lab Last week the laughing gas chamber broke and everyone was exposed, we ended up laughing for 5 hours straight, it was hilarious.
    Not funny? Well, i guess you had to be there.
  • When I got my bachelor of sciences degree, I bought a labrador Every scientist needs a lab after all.
  • When I got my science degree I got a puppy because every scientist needs a lab.
  • A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a lab... ...and do science, because science doesn't discriminate.
  • These researchers are discussing an idea to replace mice in science labs with something that'll lead to better results.
  • What do you call a atheist church? a science lab

Lab Coat Jokes

Here is a list of funny lab coat jokes and even better lab coat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After my prostrate exam, the nurse asked me an interesting question. She asked "Who was the guy in the lab coat?"
  • I just got a great new lab coat! The meat was pretty good too.
  • How does a chemist get creases out of his lab coat? Using an ion.
  • True story! I supervise medical residents and was told one's name was pronounced 'az-wee-pay'. Embroidered on her lab coat: a**...

Lab Week Jokes

Here is a list of funny lab week jokes and even better lab week puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A teacher tells a student "This lab is due in two fortnights" Student: "Wow you don't come across fortnight's too often"
    Teacher: "Just every two weeks"

Medical Lab Jokes

Here is a list of funny medical lab jokes and even better medical lab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why don't doctors like medical labs? They are always testing their patients.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about lab can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of lab puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Fun Lab Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about lab you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean science lab jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make lab prank.

A man takes his wife to get tested

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Dogs are the best. I have a lab.

It's a m**... lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach.

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is aslo over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book.
He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."

Doctor: "I have some bad news, and some very bad news"

Patient:"Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor:"The lab called and told me you only have 24 hours to live."
Patient:"24 hours!? That's terrible! What could be worse than that?"
Doctor:"Your phone has been off, and I've been trying to reach you since yesterday..."
[Edited to clarify punchline...I guess. xP]

What did the scientist who was conducting s**... experiments on dogs say to his partner?

"If you need me, I'll be in the lab."

the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me

a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with m**... today.

To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

A biologist, physicist, and a chemist all go to the beach for the first time.

The physicist, upon seeing the majestic waves, exclaims,
"Behold! I wonder how much force the waves of the ocean can produce?"
And so he dives into the water but is never seen again.
The biologist, upon seeing fish in the water, cries out,
"I wonder how many life forms live in the depths below?"
And so he too dives into the water and is never seen again.
The chemist, after having observed everything that happened, then pulls out his lab notebook and writes,
*The physicist and the biologist were both soluble in water.*

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book. He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water"

Either way, the results are not good

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for h**.... We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

Sick chihuahua

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
This must be a mistake, the man says. I've been here only 20 minutes!
No mistake, the doctor says. It's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.

An astrologer went to the doctor for her lab results.

*Before the doctor could say anything, the astrologer asks* What's your zodiac sign?
Doctor: Gemini
Astrologer: I knew it, Gemini are the most studious of all the zodiac sign.
Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?
Astrologer: Cancer.
Doctor: **What a coincidence.**

Mike joins a new school.

After school is over he returns home to his mother.
Mom: So Mike, how was your day today?
Mike: It was great! We learned about explosive materials in our lab today.
Mom: That sounds interesting, so what will you learn in school tomorrow?
Mike: What school?

2 scientists walk into a bar

the first one says: I´ll have a glass of H2O...
the second one says: i´ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really don´t think that was very smart...
the first scientists stares at his drink, angry, that his assassination plan has failed...

What did the z**... scientist say to his assistant?

If you need me I'll be in my lab

Have you heard what happened with that Chinese lab in Wuhan?

**They ate him.**

A detective is trying to solve a m**... mystery

A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.
The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.

Would you rather have a mistress or a wife?

A doctor, a lawyer, and a scientist were asked if they would rather have a mistress or a wife.
The doctor says I would rather have a wife so that I have someone to go home to after a long day at the hospital.
The lawyer says I'd rather have a mistress that way I don't have to share any of my money if it doesn't work out.
The scientist says I'd rather have both. When asked why the scientist replied, that way the wife thinks I'm with the mistress and the mistress thinks I'm with the wife but really I'm in the lab working!

My gay best friend and I started calling ourselves "Lab partners"

Sometimes we like to experiment.

Engineering student show up to his lab partner's house with a new bike...

His partner says, "wow.. that's a pretty nice bike you got there."
Engineering student says, "yeah, I was outside my dorm last night when a co-ed rode up on it. She was really drunk. She threw the bike on the ground and took off all of her clothes and said 'you can have whatever you want.'"
Partner says, "it's a good thing you chose the bike... I don't think the clothes would have fit you."

So *that's* how it works. [true story]

Went to visit a friend at his work (he's a chemist). There's a placard on the wall of the lab that says:
"Safety Reminder: Many Hands Make Light Work!"
Scrawled below that in black marker:
"Gee. All these years of college and I thought it was wave/particle duality."

Doctor: "I have some bad news, and some very bad news"

Patient: "Well, you might as well give me the bad news first".
Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live".
Patient: "24 Hours?. That's terrible. What could be worse?. What's the very bad news?".
Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday".

Nurse walks into the doctors office and says: Doctor, there's a man here who says he's invisible.

Oh that's my pal Steve from the optics lab at DARPA. They're developing electromagnetic metamaterials to use in a cloaking device.
Tell him I can't see him now.

Blondes..

My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.
After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.
Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help.
She replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!

There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.

I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"

A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.

Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.
"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.
"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first one says "I'll have some H2O"
The second one says "I'll have some water too, but you do realise you don't have to use the chemical term outside if the lab, right?"
The first scientist excuses himself to the bathroom, where he cries for a good give minutes, saddened because his m**... plan failed

Two lab rats are talking…

One says Are you going to get that vaccine? The other says Are you crazy? They haven't even finished the human trials yet!

A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...

Now he has to start from scratch.

I know of a z**... scientist who is studying human-dog s**... relationships.

He's always in his lab

I was doing a lab on nuclear decay and at first it worked like expected, but when 3/4 of the material had decayed it suddenly stopped

It seems like there will never be a half life 3

What did one lab rat say to the other?

*"I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack."*

We were dissecting toads in lab...

When I accidentally dropped mine onto my feet. I tried to hide it, but the instructor saw and made me leave for wearing open toad shoes.

I asked my doctor: "Doc, did the lab results come back yet? The curiosity is killing me."

Doc: "Well, it's not the curiosity ..."

Q. How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenetics lab?

A. "Your contribution in this project is absolute zero"

I don't know whether to get a jack russel or a lab...

Because I really like dogs, but I also really like to have a place to do experiments

I Used to work in a pathology lab...

I was forced to leave when one of my reports said "Cause of Death: Autopsy"

I'm Lightning McQueen. My buddy Mater told me if I like the Piston Cup, I could work here and get dozens a day. As it turns out...

That's not what he meant, and I hate working in a drug-screening lab.

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.
The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-a**... breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
Illu-mint-ati Confirmed.

The WHO now says Covid-19 first spread through dog u**...

It was a lab leak!

What is El Chapo's favorite dog breed?

A m**... Lab

A Marine Biologist walks into a lab,

She shouts, I think we found a way for cephalopods to discover fire!
The other scientist asks, how.
She responds with a CD,
By making them listen to my mixtape!

I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.

I told him, "I think your fly is open."

TIL that my chemistry professor is a z**...

I walked in on him while he was in his lab

Nothing ruins s**... with a monkey faster than...

Remembering you work in an AIDS research lab.

Congress announced today they would be removing all crime lab budgets from the state of Alabama

Because crimes can't be solved there since everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.

2 Scientists walk into a bar...

The first one tells the bartender, "I'd like some H2O"
Upon hearing that, the second scientist says, "I'd like some water too. Jimmy, we're not in the lab anymore..."

Have my exam tomorrow! 'The biology of b**...'

If anyone needs me, ill be in my lab.

Scientists have successfully grown human vocal cords in the lab

The results speak for themselves.

An intern is "spanking it" in the laboratory.

A scientist walks into the lab and catches the intern. He is in shock. "What on Earth are you doing?" he asks. The intern does not stop. He takes notes with his other hand and watches the hydrogen ionize. The scientist comes to the conclusion that the intern and the hydrogen are meant for each other; they are both in the excited state.

Police responded to a reported burglary at Tesla's robotics lab.

It was an Optimus crime.

A chemist tried to impress his beautiful lab assistant...

He began my mixing two chemicals previously uncombined in hopes it would produce a strong aphrodisiac. Upon smelling the fumes, the assistant instantly vomited onto the chemist's face.
That was not the reaction he was hoping for.

So, a doctor calls his patient.

Doctor: I got your lab results back, and I have good news and bad news.
Patient: why don't we start with the good news.
Doctor: the good news is that you have a day to live.
Patient: so, what's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

jokes about lab

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these lab jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.