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Kung Jokes

70 kung jokes and hilarious kung puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kung that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Read on for a selection of hilarious Kung Fu-related jokes, covering topics such as Kung Fu Panda, Kung Pow, Kung Pao, Seppuku, Ninja, and Kong. Whether you’re a martial arts enthusiast, a fan of classic films, or just in the mood for a good laugh, these jokes will have you in stitches.

Funniest Kung Short Jokes

Short kung jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kung humour may include short ninja jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between an open box of stinky cheese and a Kung Fu master? One is loose brie and the other is Bruce Lee
  2. You should never have a fight with me I know karate, taekwondo, kung fu and many other asiatic words
  3. What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo? One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.
  4. Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
  5. What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
    WAAAATAAAA!!!!
    (Gotta say it is loud kung foo fighting noise). It's a winner every time.
  6. Kung Fu Panda's Script In the first draft for Kung Fu Panda's script the country of origin was written as TH, instead of CHN. However, it was just a Thai Po.
  7. I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su... and other 28 dangerous words.
  8. I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
  9. TIL Kung Fu masters cut up their pizzas in a bullseye pattern So they can get inner pieces.
  10. I hate when people exaggerate. Let's be honest, there's no way EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting.

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Kung One Liners

Which kung one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kung? I can suggest the ones about kung fu and judo.

  1. What is the most common illness in China? Kung Flu.
  2. I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi... and a few other asian words.
  3. What do you call a fir tree that knows kung fu? Spruce Lee
  4. What does a sick ninja practice? kung flu
  5. what do martial artists eat? kung food
  6. What do you call a vegetable who knows kung fu Broclee
  7. I became ill after taking self-defense classes... I think I caught Kung Flu.
  8. What is Po's (Kung Fu Panda) dominant colour? White because his father returned.
  9. Who is the best Kung fu vegetable? Brocc Lee
  10. Which vegetable knows kung fu? Brock Lee
  11. What kind of martial art does a chef do? Kung food
    (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)
  12. Did you hear about the chicken in Asia that learned how to fight? His name was Kung POW!
  13. Do you know what everyone has been doing? Kung Fu Fighting.
  14. Hey Siri, teach me Kung Fu! Neo, you need to unlock your iPhone first.
  15. What kind of flu do Chinese people have? Kung flu

Kung Fu Jokes

Here is a list of funny kung fu jokes and even better kung fu puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a Kung Fu Panda President? The PoeTUS
  • What do they call a Chinese battery expert? A kung fu master
  • What do you call an elderly sheep who's also a kung fu master? Mutton chops.
  • A Chinese man has killed himself using Kung Fu. It's the first known case of Chop Sueycide
  • I am expert at kung fu, wushu , tai chi and few other chinese words.
  • What Did the Kung Fu Chicken Call His Master? Hensei.
  • What do you get when you cross a Kung Fu master and an Evergreen Tree? Spruce Lee
  • I think that Po polishing his Kung Fu skills makes perfects sense. After all he is from Po-land.
  • What do call it when you loan a cop Kung-Fu Panda Po-lease
  • What do you call a bear that knows Kung Fu? Grizzly.

Kung Fu Panda Jokes

Here is a list of funny kung fu panda jokes and even better kung fu panda puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I guess you can say that Kung Fu Panda 3 is pretty CHIsy
Kung joke, I guess you can say that Kung Fu Panda 3 is pretty

Kung Pao Jokes

Here is a list of funny kung pao jokes and even better kung pao puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did a Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn start charging more for its Kung Pao chicken? It was "gentry fried."
  • After the news today, I went to a Chinese restaurant and made a special order... Kung Pao.
  • What is Ellen's favourite food? Kung-Pao Chicken.
  • I got food poisoned after eating at a chinese place I think it was the Kung Pao chicken.
  • Ellen's favorite food Kung Pao Chicken!
  • What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms? Kung Pao Chicken
  • What do you call it when a guy gets shot delivering Kung pao chicken? m**... on the orient express

Kung Pow Jokes

Here is a list of funny kung pow jokes and even better kung pow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • We trained him wrong on purpose as a joke We trained him wrong on purpose as a joke
  • What did they serve for lunch at McCain's f**...? Kung P.O.W. Chicken
Kung joke, What did they serve for lunch at McCain's f**...?

Laughter Kung Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about kung you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kung pranks.

A Chinese guy walks into a bar...

A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.

Racial Humor

An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".

Chinese in the bar

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"
The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"
"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*

A dad buys a lie detector robot and it slaps anyone who lies

The dad asks his son, where were you today ? And the son says, at school and the robot slaps him. Then the son says ok, ok, ok,... I was watching Kung Fu Panda . Then the robot slaps him again. So the sons says fine...I was hanging out with a girl. And the dad goes what? You're too young to hang out with girls I never hung out with girls at your age and the robot slaps him. Then the mom starts laughing and says well he is your son after all and the robot slaps her.

Why do barbie dolls have purple n**...?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

I was sat at the bar in a pub in Dublin..

..when a Chinese man comes in, sits next to me and starts drinking. I asked him " do you know any of those martial arts like karate or kung fu?"
He says "NO - why the he'll you ask me that! Is it because I am Chinese!!?"
I said "No , it's because your drinking my Guiness"

After the new case numbers Trump should stop calling it Kung Flu and start calling it...

Arizonavirus

Kung joke, What do you call a Kung Fu Panda President?

jokes about kung