Kung Fu Jokes

56 kung fu jokes and hilarious kung fu puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kung fu that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Kung Fu Short Jokes

Short kung fu jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kung fu humour may include short martial arts jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between an open box of stinky cheese and a Kung Fu master? One is loose brie and the other is Bruce Lee
  2. You should never have a fight with me I know karate, taekwondo, kung fu and many other asiatic words
  3. What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo? One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.
  4. Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
  5. Kung Fu Panda's Script In the first draft for Kung Fu Panda's script the country of origin was written as TH, instead of CHN. However, it was just a Thai Po.
  6. I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su... and other 28 dangerous words.
  7. I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
  8. TIL Kung Fu masters cut up their pizzas in a bullseye pattern So they can get inner pieces.
  9. I hate when people exaggerate. Let's be honest, there's no way EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting.
  10. A Chinese man has killed himself using Kung Fu. It's the first known case of Chop Sueycide

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Kung Fu One Liners

Which kung fu one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kung fu? I can suggest the ones about karate and sword fighting.

  1. I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi... and a few other asian words.
  2. What do you call a fir tree that knows kung fu? Spruce Lee
  3. What do you call a vegetable who knows kung fu Broclee
  4. What is Po's (Kung Fu Panda) dominant colour? White because his father returned.
  5. Who is the best Kung fu vegetable? Brocc Lee
  6. Which vegetable knows kung fu? Brock Lee
  7. Do you know what everyone has been doing? Kung Fu Fighting.
  8. Hey Siri, teach me Kung Fu! Neo, you need to unlock your iPhone first.
  9. What do you call a Kung Fu Panda President? The PoeTUS
  10. What do they call a Chinese battery expert? A kung fu master
  11. What do you call an elderly sheep who's also a kung fu master? Mutton chops.
  12. I am expert at kung fu, wushu , tai chi and few other chinese words.
  13. What Did the Kung Fu Chicken Call His Master? Hensei.
  14. What do you get when you cross a Kung Fu master and an Evergreen Tree? Spruce Lee
  15. What do call it when you loan a cop Kung-Fu Panda Po-lease

Kung Fu Panda Jokes

Here is a list of funny kung fu panda jokes and even better kung fu panda puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I guess you can say that Kung Fu Panda 3 is pretty CHIsy

Hilarious Kung Fu Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about kung fu you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jiu jitsu jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kung fu pranks.

So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost)

...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. "That's boxing, from Las Vegas."
The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goes back to his drink. The big guy also sits back down, but after a few minutes he gets back up and kicks the little guy who slides all the way to the end of the bar. "That's karate, from Japan."
Again, the little fellow just quietly gets up, goes back to his seat, and resumes drinking. A few more minutes go by and the big fella gets up a third time, grabs the little dude, and throws him right into the door of the bar. "That's kung fu, from China."
This time, however, the little guy gets up and just walks out. After some time he walks back in, right up behind the big guy, and cracks him over the head, laying him unconscious in the floor. The little guy looks at the bartender and says "You tell that s**... when he wakes up that that was crowbar, from Sears and Roebuck."

Keanu Reeves Joke

Keanu: No, I don't think I've seen that before.
Me: Of course you have man: it's the show where David Carradine plays a Shaolin monk in the Old West.
Keanu: Woah. I guess I do know Kung Fu.

Racial Humor

An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".

Did you hear there's a new LGBT kung fu actor making films now?

His stage name is Bruce Leigh

A Chinese guy walks into a bar...

A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.

What's in common between david carradine and Kung Fu uniform?

Both were found hanging in the closet

Kung Fu is a lot better than Jiu Jitsu

One Kung Furer killed 6 million Jew Jitsues

Chinese in the bar

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"
The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"
"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.

Why do barbie dolls have purple n**...?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people every time they tell a lie...

Dad: what were you watching?
Son: Kung-Fu Panda
*\*robot slaps son\**
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: WHAT?! When I was your age i didn't even know what an e**... movie was
*\*robot slaps dad\**
Mum: HAHAHA!!! He's your son after all
*\*robot slaps mum\**

I was sat at the bar in a pub in Dublin..

..when a Chinese man comes in, sits next to me and starts drinking. I asked him " do you know any of those martial arts like karate or kung fu?"
He says "NO - why the he'll you ask me that! Is it because I am Chinese!!?"
I said "No , it's because your drinking my Guiness"

A dad buys a lie detector robot and it slaps anyone who lies

The dad asks his son, where were you today ? And the son says, at school and the robot slaps him. Then the son says ok, ok, ok,... I was watching Kung Fu Panda . Then the robot slaps him again. So the sons says fine...I was hanging out with a girl. And the dad goes what? You're too young to hang out with girls I never hung out with girls at your age and the robot slaps him. Then the mom starts laughing and says well he is your son after all and the robot slaps her.

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*

jokes about kung fu