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Kryptonite Jokes

22 kryptonite jokes and hilarious kryptonite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kryptonite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Kryptonite Short Jokes

Short kryptonite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kryptonite humour may include short superhero jokes also.

  1. What does Superman and a blood gang member who lost his gun have in common? Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...
  2. 'Wanna hear my Batman impression?" 'Sure.'
    'Oh no! Kryptonite!'
    'That's Superman.'
    'Thanks man. I've been practicing.'
  3. Person 1:Do you want to hear my Batman impression ? Person 2: Sure!
    Person 1: AARGH NO! Not the Kryptonite!
    Person 2: That's Super Man!
    Person 1: Thanks, I've been practicing it
  4. Do you want to hear my Batman impression? - Sure
    - "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
    - That's superman
    - Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot
  5. What's the difference between the Bloods and Superman? One gets killed by Kryptonite, the other gets killed by Crips tonight
  6. We were at a hotel There was a knock on the door. When I answered it, the guy asked me "are you the guys who sing Kryptonite? " I said " no, they are 3 Doors Down."
  7. Pink kryptonite turns Superman gay. What does Thor use? The Bi-frost.
    My 14 year old just came in and told me this one, said he made it up himself. I was impressed.
  8. Batman impressionist Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"
    "Go on then"
    "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
    "That's Superman"
    "Thanks, I've been practicing."
  9. During a job interview, I got the typical question about my greatest weakness. "Kryptonite."
    I start on Monday.
  10. Hi dad, I'm vegan - Hi vegan, I'm... I cannot, it's too much! I can't tell this joke EVERY morning. I surrender, you're my kryptonite!

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Kryptonite One Liners

Which kryptonite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kryptonite? I can suggest the ones about nemesis and weakness.

  1. What do Superman and Bloods have in common? They're both getting killed by a Kryptonite.
  2. What does a horse and kryptonite have in common? They both paralyze superman
  3. What is a gang's weakness? Kryptonite
  4. Was Superman a Blood or a Crip? Both, he was a blood by day and a Kryptonite
  5. How does a dead chemist ask out their crush? How about you come over to my kryptonite?
  6. What did undead Superman say to his date? Do you want to come to my kryptonite?
  7. Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
  8. Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
  9. Superman biggest weakness is not kryptonite. It's horses.
  10. What Did Superman Tell Superwoman? Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

Kryptonite joke, What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Uplifting Kryptonite Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about kryptonite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean superman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kryptonite pranks.

My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.


He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.

Batman Impression

Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."
"Go on then" the second one says.
"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"
The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"
"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Dad to his son: Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!

Son: Go on, then.
Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!
Son: Dad, that's Superman!
Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.

My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! and I said, That's Superman…

Thanks, man, he replied, I've been practising it a lot.

Kryptonite joke, My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He sho