Following is our collection of funny Kosher jokes. There are some kosher challah jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kosher spaghettos puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I guess the oven must have been broken
A man walks into a Kosher Deli in New York City and steps up to the counter.
"I would like zee bagel und lox please." He says in a heavy German accent.
The man pays, sits down with his food, and is clearly enjoying it. When he's done he walks up to the counter again and says, "Zat vas amazing. I can't get food like zat back home."
The guy behind the counter looks at him disapprovingly and says, "Now whose fault is that?"
I had to get rid of a friend at college this week. He did nothing but steal my hoodies and eat bacon in every class. I asked him why, and he responded "Keep your friend's clothes, and your enemy's kosher".
Iceberg
Hopefully it'll bring us kosher.
In other words, he is just a jar of Kosher Dill Pickles
Upon arriving at the restaurant, his friend says "I'm not sure I can eat here. Is Burger King kosher?" The man waved his hand dismissively and says "Don't worry, it's Burger King: Have it Yahweh."
Kosher Pork.
they said it was too ham-fisted.
Now we know what kids are gonna be doing for the Jewish High Holidays...
And call it Anne Franks...
You can explore kosher sausages reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kosher zyklon dad jokes. There are also kosher puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A communion wafer
acidic juice
You Jew it.
Its not kosher
Now my bread rises 3 days later
Not sure if this is kosher here, but I need a joke for a student's speech I'm helping with, something about English and rules.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies kosher
It's a real breath of fresh air.
Cut the tips off.
Because then you would be having beef with cheese.
It made me wonder what other Kosher things my dad gave me as a child.
Juice.
...does that mean Jesus isn't kosher for Passover?
He Kosher.
A man walks up to a counter and asks for a pound of Polish Sausage! The clerk looks at the man and says wow... you must be Polish.
The man says how dare you sir! You're a racist! Do I have to be Italian to eat Italian sausage...? Do I have to be Jewish to eat kosher beef...? Can only Germans drink German beer...?
The clerk responds well no... but this is Home Depot.
Guess you could say I'm a pretty big dill.
A Semite truck.
"Sorry," said the owner. "We don't serve Ham."
It's called Anne's Franks.
Acidic Jew
Father O'Malley put down his ham and cheese sandwich and commented, This sandwich is so good! Kosher dietary restrictions made sense in ancient times, but when are you going to join the modern age and eat delicious, wholesome food like this?
Without missing a beat, Rabbi Schwartz replied, At your wedding.
She's going to have a rutebega'ning when we tell her challenging kids isn't kosher.
As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.
On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the guy behind the counter, "Zis is voonderbar! Zey do not have food like zis vere I am from."
In a heavy Brooklyn accent the guy behind the counter replies, "Now whose fault is that?"
Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.
Hebrews it all himself.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kosher halal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working kosher seder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.