kong Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious kong puns

Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.


Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth?

To prevent tooth DK.


A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...

Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "

King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.

He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".


What do you call it when Donkey Kong gets a cavity?

Tooth DK.


What does the "F" in Hong Kong stand for ?



Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint

CNN reports that both crews are marooned


Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?

He had a plane to catch


I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.

It's called The King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong


My dick is like Hong Kong

It's hard to control even when I beat it


"The dangers of smoking"

A man is standing outside in the "smoking zone" of an airport on a freezing cold January morning, smoking one last cigarette before his 16 hour, non-stop flight to Hong Kong for a business trip.

Another man walks up to him and says "do you have any idea how bad that is for you? Don't you know that the mortality rate of smokers is 3 times as high as non-smokers?"

The smoker looks at him and says "Ya, well my grandfather father lived to be 105."

The other man opens his eyes wide in astonishment. He asks in disbelief: "your grandfather really lived to be 105? And he was a smoker??"

The smoker blows the last puff in the guys face, "no, he just minded his own fucking business"


What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle?

Ron Burgundy.

Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.


What happens when you kill Donkey Kong?

He starts to DK.


What do you call an albino gorilla?

Honkey Kong


What sound does a Chinese goose make?

Hong Kong!


If Great Britian leaves the EU then it will be like its own Hong Kong

Owned by the British, surprisingly prosperous for its size, and desperately longing to be white.


What is the religion of people in hong kong?



Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.


What do you call a city filled with protesting geese?

Honk Kong


What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?

King Kong Un

(From my younger brother).


Why did King Kong....

Climb the Empire State Building?

...He couldn't fit in the elevator.


A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door

>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"

>"I bin Hong Kong!"

>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"

>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"

Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!


What do you get when you cross King Kong with a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia


What do you get when King Kong sits on your best friend?

A Flat Mate.


I decided to invest on Bitcoins, a Russian airline and a Hong Kong bus company

But all of them crashed!


Apparantly part of a Hong Kong politician's ear was bit off.

I'm glad Mike Tyson is giving his all to these protests


They've discovered King Kong was indeed heterosexual...

...it was booty that killed the beast.


They've got internet for vehicles in Hong Kong too...

They call it Wong Kar-Wai fi.


What's the name of that German Video game with the polite gorilla?

Danke Kong


How is the monkey ringing?

How is the monkey ringing at the door?
King Kong , King Kong


What did Donkey Kong say when Mario asked him for help for some schoolwork?

"I D K"


A monkey called King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and have a sing-song. What noise does his doorbell make?



No matter how much I love freedom and democracy, I know I can never stand with the Hong Kong protesters again.

The CCP broke my fucking legs


A small traffic accident occurs at a busy intersection in Hong Kong.

l guess two Wongs don't make a right


How does a gorilla ring at the door?

King Kong


Heard the place kong skull island was burnt down.

It was the veit cong


What are the most funny Kong jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Kong? Well, here are the best Kong dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Kong pick up lines to share with friends.

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