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Kong Jokes

86 kong jokes and hilarious kong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Kong Short Jokes

Short kong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kong humour may include short ape jokes also.

  1. Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned
  2. What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle? Ron Burgundy.
    Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.
  3. Did ya hear about Donkey Kong's Asian cousin, Viet Kong? He specializes in Gorilla warfare
  4. Did you guys hear the next King Kong movie will star Lady Kong? Apparently it'll be a rom-kong
  5. If Great Britian leaves the EU then it will be like its own Hong Kong Owned by the British, surprisingly prosperous for its size, and desperately longing to be white.
  6. What do you call a Donkey Kong game that is set during the Great Depression? The Apes of Wrath
  7. Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?
    ...He couldn't fit in the elevator.
  8. what is the goose's favorite city? honk kong
  9. What do you get when King Kong sits on your best friend? A Flat Mate.
  10. I decided to invest on Bitcoins, a Russian airline and a Hong Kong bus company But all of them crashed!

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Kong One Liners

Which kong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kong? I can suggest the ones about zookeeper and king kong.

  1. Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK.
  2. What do you call it when Donkey Kong gets a cavity? Tooth DK.
  3. Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling? It was beginning to DK
  4. Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist? He had tooth DK
  5. What does the "F" in Hong Kong stand for ? Freedom
  6. Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building? He had a plane to catch
  7. I just watched godzilla Vs. Kong, it was awful... ...One could even say it's Monstrous
  8. Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
  9. What is the religion of people in hong kong? Protestant.
  10. What do you call King Kong with a gun Sir
  11. What happens when you kill Donkey Kong? He starts to DK.
  12. What do you call a city filled with protesting geese? Honk Kong
  13. What sound does a Chinese goose make? Hong Kong!
  14. Why did King Kong go to the airport? He had a plane to catch.
  15. What do you call a North Korean Gorilla? King Kong Un
    (From my younger brother).

King Kong Jokes

Here is a list of funny king kong jokes and even better king kong puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How is the monkey ringing? How is the monkey ringing at the door?
    -
    King Kong , King Kong
  • How does a gorilla ring at the door? King Kong
  • A monkey called King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and have a sing-song. What noise does his doorbell make? Buzz
  • King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
  • Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
    Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
  • A monkey, chimp, gorilla and King Kong tries to take bananas from a coconut tree. Who will get it? Neither! Coconut trees don't grow bananas!
  • A gorilla came to my house and rang the bell *King kong!*
  • is King Kong Chinese?
  • Went to a psychiatrist... Psychiatrist: what is your problem?
    Patient: I say unrelated things in a conversation.
    Psychiatrist: Since when?
    Patient: King Kong.
  • Godzilla V Kong Godzilla: You were never a god, you were never even a king!
    Kong: Save Mothra!
    Godzilla: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!

Hong Kong Jokes

Here is a list of funny hong kong jokes and even better hong kong puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They've got internet for vehicles in Hong Kong too... They call it Wong Kar-Wai fi.
  • Apparantly part of a Hong Kong politician's ear was bit off. I'm glad Mike Tyson is giving his all to these protests
  • What happens in Hong Kong stays in Hong Kong. But what happens in China travels all around the world.
  • A small traffic accident occurs at a busy intersection in Hong Kong. l guess two Wongs don't make a right
  • I said to my Hong Kong friend, Your mother is so fat! He shook his head in disgust. Sō Fá.
  • Went to a Hong Kong style buffet But it was in *Canteen*ese!
  • I heard a Hong Kong-based company is going to build the Grand Canal in Nicaragua. Won't yellow fever be a problem?
  • Hey guys. What's the most reassuring thing about the Riot Police presence in Hong Kong right now? *Their guns are probably made in China.*
    yuk yuk yuk
  • Free Hong Kong Tee Shirts are okay I guess... I doubt that I'd ever *buy* one though
  • "Creating false instruments" is apparently a crime in Hong Kong. Would those instruments be lyres?
Kong joke, "Creating false instruments" is apparently a crime in Hong Kong.

Donkey Kong Jokes

Here is a list of funny donkey kong jokes and even better donkey kong puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Donkey Kong say when Mario asked him for help for some schoolwork? "I D K"
  • Q. What videogame best represents capitalism? A. Donkey Kong
  • Did you hear Donkey Kong died?..... Me: Did you hear Donkey Kong died?
    You: Diddy?
    Me: NO, DONKEY!
    Also:
    Me: Did you hear Puff Daddy died?
    You: Diddy?
    Me: YEAH.
  • What is hairy, is referred to as a monkey, and expands? Donkey Kong.
  • Why was Donkey Kong named after a donkey instead of a monkey? Because "Monkey d**..." just doesn't have the same ring to it.
  • Donkey kong and King Kong adopted a child. They decided to name him k**... Kong
Kong joke, Donkey kong and King Kong adopted a child.

Hilarious Fun Kong Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about kong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hong kong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kong pranks.

A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door

>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"
>"I bin Hong Kong!"
>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"
>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"
Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!

What do you call an albino gorilla?

h**... Kong

They've discovered King Kong was indeed heterosexual...

...it was b**... that killed the beast.

I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.

It's called The King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding d**...

What's the name of that German Video game with the polite gorilla?

Danke Kong

Heard the place kong skull island was burnt down.

It was the veit cong

A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...

Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "
King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.
He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".

If King Kong ever went to China, he'd be called

c**...

So I was making a joke about the current situation in Hong Kong.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘢.

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.
Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass..................at night.
When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.

Dixie Kong ran up to Donkey Kong crying..

"What wrong?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Someone told me I could get bananas from a hornet's nest so I hit it and the hornets came out and chased me!" Dixie sobs.
"Sounds like you did a Diddy." says Donkey.
"A Diddy? What's that mean?" asks Dixie.
DK explains, "I'm sayin, 'Do a Diddy'. Diddy dumb, Diddy do."

Was driving through downtown Pigeon Forge and dropped this one…

So Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (US), is a HUGE tourist trap. We're talking zip lines, roller coasters, Ripley's Believe it or Not museum, Ferris wheels, life sized King Kong, etc.
Anywhoo, I was driving the family through this insanity when my wife pointed out a building to the kids and said look at that one with all the giraffes on top! I wonder what that is! Without missing a beat I said, Welcome, to Giraffic Park! And hummed the theme song while navigating through a left hand turn. I was proud and laughed out loud at my own joke. My 7 year old loved it.

my grandpa tells us about his good old days in Hong Kong

He said, "when I was your age, I can go into the groceries with 10 dollars, and come out with 2 loaves of bread, 2 dozen of eggs, 2 kilos of potatoes, maybe a few cans of soda, plus handful of candies and probably some beef jerky."
We were like, "o**...!!! That's a lot!! 10 dollars now can only get us 2 soda!! The inflation is insane!!"
And then he was like,
"Nah!! Just there are far more CCTV these days!"

What do you call an ape with a f**...?

k**... Kong.

Kong joke, What do you call an <a href="/ape-jokes.html" title="Ape jokes">ape</a> with a f**...?

jokes about kong