Koala Jokes
85 koala jokes and hilarious koala puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about koala that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These koala jokes are sure to make you hoppin' with laughter! Read on, and find out why koalas think iguanas are bad news, why you need koalifications to eat eucalyptus, and more!
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Funniest Koala Short Jokes
Short koala jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The koala humour may include short kangaroo jokes also.
- Girls say I'm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.
- A koala walks into a barber shop A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, "Can eucalyptus?"
- Today I learnt koala bears aren't actual bears. They're marsupials. I guess they don't meet the koalafications.
- A koala, a bear and a panda owned tea shops... But which one was the best?
The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea. - Did you hear about the animals protesting their zoo that didn't include any Australian animals? They were fighting for e-koala-ty.
- A koala is in a job interview The interviewer asks the koala "what makes you think you are suitable for this job role?".
"I have all of the necessary koalifications". - The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of….. Koala-t
- Ever since I made a joke about koalas there's been a couple jokes popping up every once in awhile, but you know what I'm sorry. This sub has become a little un-bear-able
- I just heard they voted sexiest koala I hope the votes are coming from other koalas.
I feel they're the only ones that are Koala-fied
(but seriously sexiest koala is a thing) - A rare white koala was born yesterday in an Australian zoo. At first they thought it was an albino, but realized that it didn't meet the koalifications.
Share These Koala Jokes With Friends
Koala One Liners
Which koala one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with koala? I can suggest the ones about panda and panda bear.
- Why aren't Koalas actual bears? They DO NOT meet Koalafications
- Why did the koala bear get hired? He was the most koalafied.
- What did the koalas say to the zookeeper after he cut their claws? "Eucalyptus!"
- What do koalas eat after a nuclear winter? Apocalyptus
- I wanted to hire a marsupial butler... but none of the applicants were koala-fied.
- Koala joke Why aren't koalas actual bears? They don't meet the koalafications.
- What is a marsupials favourite drink ? A Piña Koala
- Baby I am an Animal in Bed More Specifically A Koala,I can sleep 22 hrs a day.
Cr - What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender? Eucalyptus.
- Why are Austalian grocery stores the best? Because of their Koala Tea
- What do you call a Koala who doesn't meet the requirements? Un-Koalified
- What kind of tea do koalas drink? Euca-lipton
- What do Cuban Koala bears eat? Yucalyptus
- What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*
- Why is water infused with eucalyptus leaves so delicious? It's koala-tea
Koala Bear Jokes
Here is a list of funny koala bear jokes and even better koala bear puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Koala bear who was thrown out of the Koala bear contest? He was dis-koala-fied
- Little brown bear There was once a little Brown bear who always wanted to be a koala bear. So he went to Australia and asked to join the koala bears union. They told he did'nt koala-ify.
- What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala. - What is the name of the bear capitol? Koala Lumpur
Hilarious Koala Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about koala you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kanga jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make koala pranks.
A little lizard
A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.
While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.
After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.
The girl stops him and demands payment.
The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up p**... in the dictionary, a person who trades s**... for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.
Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a Lizard and a Koala sit in a tree an smoke a joint...
They are smoking, talking, simply having a good time. After about an hour, the lizard says: "Man, I'm so thirsty... I gotta go down to the river and drink some water." So he climbs down the tree and goes to the river. There an aligator is chilling in the water and shouts: "Hey Lizard, whats going on? What're you up to?"
"Hey my friend, I'm over there in the tree, smoking p**... with the Koala, wanna join us?"
"Haha sure, gotta see this." goes the Aligator. So he climbs out of the water, and starts walking towards the tree. The Koala sees him, opens his eyes in amazement and says:
"Dude... How much did you drink???"
A Lizard was walking one day and happened to look up and see a Koala getting high...
So the Lizard shouts "Hey Koala, what are you doing up there?"
The Koala responds by saying "Nothing man, just smoking a joint, want to come up for a bit?"
The Lizard agrees and quickly scurries up the tree. After a few passes, he tells the Koala he's extremely thirsty and the Koala reminds him that a river isn't far from the tree they are in.
The Lizard goes down the tree and races to the river but due to him being so high, once he gets to the water he slips and falls in. A Crocodile watching him swims over and saves the little Lizard from drowning.
"What's wrong with you?" asked the Crocodile.
"Dude, I was just in a tree smoking a joint with Koala and I got so thirsty and came to get a drink but I slipped and fell in," the Lizard replies
The Crocodile decides for himself he needs to go check out the Lizard's story and goes to find the Koala. After a few moments, he sees the Koala in the tree smoking a joint just as the lizard had said.
"Hey Koala!" Crocodile shouts at the tree.
The Koala looks down at the Crocodile and says:
Shiiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala bear is smoking a joint...
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint, When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so s**... that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too s**... and fell into the river while taking a drink... The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said, 'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude... How much water did you drink!?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint...
when a lizard walks up and says "Hey koala what are you doing?"
The koala answers "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink.
The lizard, so s**..., leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, "What's wrong with you, lizard?"
The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too s**... and fell in while taking a drink.
The croc has to see this for himself, so he asks the lizard to take him to the koala. When they get back to the tree, the croc looks up at the koala and says "Hey, you."
The koala looks down and says "Shiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala wakes up next to a p**.......
The koala tries to sneak out of the motel room before the p**... wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of p**...". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has s**... for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: An animal who eats bushes and leaves'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala walks into a bar
A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he's done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking for a good time, there was some one in the back room who could help him, the koala decides why not and goes into the back room. There he meets a p**... who is waiting for him. That night he has the best s**... he has ever had. After the p**... turns to the koala and says, "How about my money," the koala looked confused and the p**... brought out a dictionary and it said...p**...: Has s**... for money.
So in response the koala turn to the definition for the koala and it says. KOALA: Eats bush and leaves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian joke...
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so s**... that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too s**... and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
The koala looked down at him and said,
'FUCK ME! How much water did you drink!?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Kuala and the Lizard
So this Koala is sitting in a tree smoking a spliff. Small lizard walks by and ask the Koala what he's doing. Koala says "Having a spliff man, come up and have a few puffs..."
So up the lizard goes, but after a few drags he's thirsty. Koala says "No problem little dude, just little bit down the road there's a river, go have a drink."
So off the lizard goes, but when he gets to the river he is so s**... he falls into the river onto the crocodiles nose. Crocodile squints at the lizard, says " Hey man, what's up with you, why you falling all over the place?"
Lizard says "Man you won't believe this but there's a Koala in the tree smoking a spliff, I had a few drags now I'm s**....
Crocodile, thinks, heck I've got to go see this. So he puts the lizard down and goes to look for the Koala. Doesn't take long he finds him. So he shouts to the Koala, " Hey Koala, what you doing up there...?"
Koala looks down at him and frowns and says " Sjees dude, how much water did you drink...?!
Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo.
He wanted to have a treesome.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala goes to a brothel
So a koala goes to a brothel and does the deed with the p**.... When they are finished, he gets up and starts to head out the door. The p**... stops him and says "Hey! The definition of p**... is we have s**... for money!" The koala looks at her and says, "Well the definition of koala is eats bushes and leaves."
What's invisible and smells like cough drops?
Koala farts
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala walks into...
a brothel, and chooses one of the ladies of the evening. They go to her room and the koala asks if he can eat her out. The p**... says "yes", after the koala is done he gets off the bed and starts to leave. The p**... stops him and says "where are you going, you have to pay me", the koala says "why". The p**... gets a dictionary and opens it up to the word p**..., and shows the koala. The description reads "gets paid for having s**...". The koala then takes the dictionary and opens it to the word koala. He tells the lady of the evening to read what the description for koala says out loud. "Eats bushes and leaves".
What instrument did the koala play when he joined Mumford and Sons?
The Eucalele!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first koala.
Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
I didn't want it to get lonely so I shot it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do Koalas come from?
Their d**..., of course
What does a koala have in common with the moon?
You Eclipse Us
How many koalas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, given that he's koali-fied for the job.
A man is taking a picture of a koala
This has some really great koalaty
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a gay koala?
A homosupial
My sister got a koala
I asked her to name it Koka since she can tell everyone she has Koka koala.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Koala walks into a bar...
So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs
So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of p**... in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does s**... acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?
Koala vomit...
What do koalas have in common with underwear?
I'm not wearing any koalas ;)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Koala walks into a bar...
A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich. The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a p**... out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you're going!?" The Koala replies, "Hey, I'm a Koala. Look it up." The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: The dictionary said "n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."
What do you call an arboreal herbivorous marsupial laborer who unloads cargo?
Koala Lumper.
What's the best drink in the jungle?
Koala Tea
How did the koala get a manicure?
Eucalyptus nails!
My girlfriend calls me eucalyptus
Because she says I'm a koala tree boyfriend.
Where do koalas live?
Kuala Lumpur!
What's a marsupial's favorite city?
Koala Lampur
What Does a koala say when it blows up?
Koala Akbar!
A koala walks into a restaurant.
He says, "I'll have the minestrone."
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of chili.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of lobster bisque.
The waitress brings it, the koala eats it quickly, then orders a bowl of gazpacho.
After a while the waitress says, "Wow, you must be hungry."
The koala answers, "No, I'm just a moresoupial."
As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials
it's a really koala tea time
A marsupial fixed me an aromatic beverage, by pouring hot water over cured leaves and it was absolutely delightful! I asked how it was possible to make something so awesome at this level and he responded...
"It's koala tea."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call Tea made with w**... and koala bears?
A High Koala Tea Beverage.
why did the Koala lose the race?
He was diskoalafied.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It's super high quality
Where do marsupials go for vacation?
KOALA Lumpur.
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree
It got hit by a fridge
We were driving down the road when a koala cut ahead of us and knocked into the car.
We sped up alongside of him and yelled out "Hey, you clipped us."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala wakes up next to a p**......
Without a sound he gets up, makes his way to the door and begins to open it when the p**... wakes up and sees him.
"Hey, where do you think youre going?" the p**... asks? She pulls out a dictionary and shows him the definition of p**.... It says, "a person, in particular a woman, who engages in s**... activity for payment."
He says in response, "Look up the definition of koala."
She finds it and begins to read. "a bearlike arboreal Australian marsupial that has thick gray fur and eats shoots and leaves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a koala without chlamydia?
A v**....
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
Because it got hit by the first koala.
Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
Because he thought it was a game and joined in!
