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Knowledge Jokes

115 knowledge jokes and hilarious knowledge puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knowledge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further than Knowledge Jokes! Whether you're a fan of knowledge management, knowledge is power, or the Theory of Knowledge, this collection of jokes is sure to leave you in stitches. Find out if wealth really matters or explore the postulate of Shweta's General Knowledge. Read on to assess the hilarity of these jokes!

Funniest Knowledge Short Jokes

Short knowledge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knowledge humour may include short aware jokes also.

  1. Knowledge is Power They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.
  2. My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. After a few hours I finally found the exit.
  3. Knowledge is like underwear, you need to have it but you don't need to show it but people always want to be the superman
  4. My complete lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my achilles elbow. thanks, Mike!
  5. Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine. Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool
  6. "Knowledge is a weapon" said Terry Goodkind which is why the cops can shoot you for holding a book
  7. Why don't we pronounce k in knowledge We haven't acknowledged it yet
    I'll walk myself out
  8. Know-it-alls think themselves a fountain of knowledge. In truth they are an oil spill of knowledge... Unwelcome and hard to get rid of.
  9. Knowledge is knowing that pineapples are not a type of apple Wisdom is knowing not to put them on pizza.
  10. How does knowledge get spread around an Army base? It goes from being Private Information to General Information

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Knowledge One Liners

Which knowledge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knowledge? I can suggest the ones about information and experience.

  1. My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my Achilles elbow
  2. H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge
  3. What's the best way to check Reddit's knowledge of dad jokes? A Pop quiz
  4. My poor knowledge of Greek mythology... ...has always been my Achilles' elbow.
  5. Who's the smartest member of the Army? General Knowledge
  6. The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
  7. Where do people obtain knowledge? A FACTory.
  8. Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.
  9. How to DoS someone without any tech knowledge Steal all their shirts and shoes
  10. Roses are red... Harambes in heaven, george bush had advanced knowledge of 9/11.
  11. Knowledge is like underwear,you should have it ..but it's not necessary to showoff
  12. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of civil waste disposal systems I'm a real connisewer
  13. Which tree is the most knowledgeable in the forest? The Telemetry.
  14. Wikipedia uses the Arial font. It's the font of all knowledge.
  15. Homework. Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

Knowledge Is Power Jokes

Here is a list of funny knowledge is power jokes and even better knowledge is power puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Equifax's slogan is "Powering the World with Knowledge"... Unfortunately, that includes powering the world with knowledge of my social security number.
  • Knowledge is power That's why women are weak
  • Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
  • In wine there's knowledge, in beer there's power, in water... there is bacteria.
  • If Knowledge is power.. Why cant I strike some one down with lightening after reading a book?
Knowledge joke, If Knowledge is power..

Cheeky Knowledge Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about knowledge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knowing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knowledge pranks.

A teacher was testing her students' knowledge of words' antonyms. She asked, "What is the opposite go?" A student answered, "Stop." "Very good," the teacher replied. "What is the opposite of adamant?" Another student said, "Eveant."

It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
"If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?"
The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."

Philosophy final

in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?

So this guy finishes reading a self-empowering book..

And then goes to his wife to put the knowledge to the test. so he tells her :"Wife, tomorrow morning i expect breakfast in bed, followed by some good love-making and then a warm bath...and after all this, who do you think also gets to do my hair and dress me ?" the wife looks at him, smiles, and says :"The guys at the f**... home, honey"

repost (pretty sure) suspiciously knowledgable wife

wife calls the husband at work. "can you send a mechanic to our house, the carburettor is flooded."
husband is taken aback and becomes suspicious. "how do you know that?" he asks.
"because the car is at the bottom of the pool".

Blonde interviews to be a policeman

A blonde goes to an interview to be a police officer. The interview goes well until the interviewer asks some general knowledge questions. She does ok on the first few, until she is asked, " who shot Abraham Lincoln?"
She tells the interviewer she doesn't know, and he tells her to go home and work on the answer. Her mom calls her later and asks how the interview went.
She tells her mom, "great, they already have me working on a case"

An Indian guy is getting a job at a call center for copy machine support

The interviewer decides to test his knowledge of mixing light vs. Mixing pigments by asking him to use green, pink, and yellow in the same sentence about his job.
He says "When the phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"

A strict agnostic says to another strict agnostic...

"All knowledge is subjective."
The other strict agnostic thinks about this for a moment and responds, "Yeah, well, that's just, like, your *opinion*, man."

Was talking religion over at a Chinese restaurant with some friends when...

one friend pondered if there were any Chinese Jews.. Nobody at the table had ever heard of one so we decided to ask our server. We called him over and inquired if he knew of any any Chinese Jews.,. He looked a little perplexed and said he would go and ask his manager. He returned some minutes later declaring that to his knowledge there were no Chinese Jews.. He only knew of Orange, Pineapple and Cranberry....

Notice In A Library

Notice In A Library.
Statutory Warning ,
While Reading s**... Knowledge Books,
Please Hold The Book With Both Hands.

My poor knowledge of Mexican food has always been my chilaquiles heel.

You didn't even have to click through to get the punchline.

[Serious] Have any animals besides humans been shown to exhibit humor in their social interactions?

Looking for anyone with specific knowledge of this. Any zoolologists out there?

Why 'business' people continue to earn more than people who actually work :

Time is money (time=money), and knowledge is power( knowledge=power)
we know that power is work done/time
solving,
power=work done/money
but knowledge=power
hence
we have money=work done/knowledge
which means, in the limiting case, as knowledge ->0 money -> Infinity, regardless of work done

Two cats crossing a river

Two cats are swimming across a river.
Only one of them made it.
One cat was named one, two, three and the other cat was named un, deux, t**....
Which one made it across the english or the french cat?
The english cat of course, un, deux, t**... cat sank.
*basic knowledge of french required, if you don't understand the joke.

I was going to write a book about my knowledge of tea..

But i decided against it since it would only be a Novel Tea.

I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology....

It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time.

Eve took the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and said...

"b**...! It hasn't got a headphone jack!"

Knowledge is liberal

We are synonymous.
We are battalion.
We do not pardon.
We do not fail to recall.
Anticipate us.

Never stop seeking knowledge. It is how we grow as a society.

But if you do, go ahead and run for office.

Knowledge is knowing Napoleon..

... was about the average height for his time.
Wisdom is not putting Napoleon in a fruit salad.

Little Johnny

A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. "It's just like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad."

TIL the people most knowledgeable about something

Are not the people that work in that industry, but their customers who have done a little online reading. /s

Knowledge is power.

* Knowledge is power
* Time is money
* Power = work/time
So
* Time = work/power
Which implies
* Money = work/knowledge.
So for a fixed amount of work, the more you know the less money you get.

A son asks his dad

Son: Is it true that a father will always be more knowledgeable than his son?
Dad: Of course!
Son: Who invented the light bulb?
Dad: Thomas Edison.
Son: If the father know so much more, why didn't he invented the light bulb instead?
Dad: Son, when it was lights out and dark, he was busy inventing Edison!

c**...

Many years ago
Just before leaving to meet my first real girlfriend,
My Dad pulled me into his bedroom,
He opened his bedside drawer and handed me a c**....
With a wink he said, 'Take care, Son, I'm proud of you'
To this day I'm not sure what was worse:
My Dad's knowledge and pride in what I was about to do,
or
Having used a c**... that was intended for my Mother.

Zwei Gin Bitte!

During World War 2, two German spies recieved an intensive training in English so they could do their job in London without causing suspicion.
To test their knowledge they enter a pub.
Spies: "Two gins, please!"
Bartender: "Dry?"
Spies (confused): "Nein, zwei!!

Apparently n**... have a skewed knowledge of world history

Ask any of them how ww2 went and they say it was all r**....

Polish people are really knowledgeable about politics.

Every time the news is on they keep saying "Let's see what the Poles have to say."

People say I'm well educated

I never went to actual school, but I significantly deepened my knowledge in the well.

My date just tried to show off with her Shania Twain knowledge

But that don't impress me much

The year is 1945...

The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.
"How do you say civilians?"
"Acceptable casualties."

100 women walk into heaven

God greeted them and then said:
-If you've ever looked at your boyfriend's phone without his knowledge to see if he was talking to other women, take 5 steps forward
Ninety-nine of the women take the five steps forward, God then says
-Someone please get the deaf girl

Knowledge

I swallowed a dictionary....it gave me thesaurus t**... I've ever had. -credit goes to my 80 yo grandmother

In Greek mythology, Chiron was known for his knowledge and skill with medicine

One could even call him the Centaur for Disease Control.
He was a big believer in herd immunity.

The theoretical physicist had trouble getting a job...

... They could apply their knowledge.

A teacher ask his students, what would you pick between a bag of money or knowledge?

Student: The bag of money!
Teacher: No you d**...! Don't you know that knowledge is worth more than money?
Student: Alright, so what would you pick then Sir?
Teacher: Knowledge of course!
Student: Well I guess we always want what we can't have.

High school is like a brain

You have some knowledges tossed in there, but it's mainly full of thots

Twitter has banned "foreign spy" as hate speech.

The acceptable term is "undocumented knowledge worker."

My medical knowledge and Spanish is pretty much the same.

Just enough to start a conversation that ends with me getting a rare disease.

Little sister told me an elementary school rhyme today.

Women go to college to get more knowledge
Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider

I really need to upgrade my knowledge about a particular herb.

It's about thyme.

An idiot goes walking through the woods...

After a short time, he realizes he is hopelessly lost. He gets hungry, but with no knowledge of a way to gain food, he decides to resort to cannablism. He begins to eat his arm, but soon finds he is satisfied and no longer hungry. This idiot in the woods was full of himself.

I was watching the ted bundy tapes on Netflix

When he was first arrested, the police departments from the different states got together in a hotel to have a conference and share knowledge with each other.
It was the world's first Ted Talk.

God and it's Presidents

God recently was looking for humble person, who in an unselfish way with great self-knowledge could help God on Earth make America great again.
Bush, Obama and Trump was invited and went for the job interview with God
God asks Bush: What do you believe in? Bush answers: I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation! Very well , says God. Come sit to my right.
Next, God asks Obama: What do you believe in? Obama answers: I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all. Good , says God. You shall sit to my left.
Finally, God asks Trump: What do you believe in?
Trump answers: I believe you're sitting in my chair.

If boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider...

and girls go to college to get more knowledge... does that mean that ladies go to hades when they have babies?... this would explain a lot about pregnancy

A Greek philosopher's lecture on knowledge was really confusing and frustrating.

Episteme off.

I was really confused about Buddha statues and why a lot of people revered them so much, So I asked a Hinduist about them. He was very knowledgeable, and after he finished explaining he asked,

"So now does it make sense to you at all?

And I said "Yeah, idol makes sense to me now."

Knowledge is knowing than a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing you shouldn't put it a fruit salad.....

humor is doing it anyway.

The limit to my knowledge of the French language, is knowing the word for 'egg'

That's an oeuf

Don and his friend Eva we're exploring caves in the town of Level for our palindrome school project

Eva said there were many things they could not do in caves. Don asked her a question using his knowledge from palindrome school. Don said, Eva can I stab bats in a cave . She said no don . Don then said, Eva can I pose as aesop in a cave . She again said, no don .

My wife is a teacher.

One day I came back home and found a note of my son which stated, " Mom is teaching with laim man. "
I felt proud as she was following her passion and putting her knowledge in use.
Untill I remembered my son is dyslexic.

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

A Donkey Was Found Dead In Front of a Church

So the priest did the reasonable thing and called the police chief.
Hey, i would like to report a donkey has been found dead in front of the church
The Chief replies: But father isn't that your specialty? You are knowledgeable on how to clean the body and prepare it for burial, right?
The priest replies: You are correct, but we like to notify the next of kin.

A man goes for an interview

The first question he faces - "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
Man - I have a good sense of humor, but my general knowledge is weak.
Interviewer - Okay tell me joke
Man - Knock Knock
Interviewer - Who's there?
Man - The first president of The United States of America
Interviewer - The first president of The United States of America who?
Man - That I don't know

How many covid deniers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No way to know, it's common knowledge that the number of lightbulb repairs is always over inflated so custodians can get reimbursed for lightbulbs that didn't burn out.

A college student writes a letter to his parents back home.

Dear Mom and Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. My profe$$or$ are al$o $uper cool! With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Mi$$ you guy$!
Love, Your $on
They reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Mom and Dad

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.
These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

3 blondes were standing around some tracks.

The first blonde said "look at these tracks! Do you think they're deer tracks?"
The second blonde shook her head "no, there are no hoof prints. If anything these are dog tracks".
The third blonde chuckled, "come on you two. Look at the even spacing, the consistent depth, the distance between the tracks - it's obvious they're bear tracks!"
The other two blondes looked at the third in admiration of her excellent knowledge of nature, and then all 3 were hit by a train.

Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...

God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.
Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?
God: Joseph R. Biden
Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* s**... dude, this goes even deeper than we thought

One of the Saddest Stories I've Ever Heard

The HighSchool Girls National diving team's plane crashed into the ocean, and they washed up on a deserted island.
Physically, the few survivors were unharmed, but as the days past, their minds began to crack as they realized that they had not the tools, knowledge, or materials to build a working diving board and bring some normalcy back into their lives!


But alas… The poor b**... were forced to resort to cannonballism.

Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.

"If there were two doors where one of them led to unlimited money and the second one ked t**... a path guiding to knowledge, which one would you choose Mrs. P?"
Mrs. P: Obviously, the door with the knowledge.
Johnny: I would go for the door with unlimited money since one only wants something he doesn't have already.

Knowledge joke, Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.

jokes about knowledge