Knot Jokes
160 knot jokes and hilarious knot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These knot jokes are sure to have you in knots! From a forehead knot to a top knot, head knot, and frayed knot, get ready for jokes about any type of knot, tying knots, and anything having to do with neckties and getting tied up. Have a knot-tying good time!
Quick Jump To
- Short Knot Jokes
- Knot One Liners
- Knot Tying Jokes
- Tying Knot Jokes
- Frayed Knot Jokes
- Rope Knot Jokes
- More Knot Jokes
Funniest Knot Short Jokes
Short knot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knot humour may include short kite jokes also.
- How does an ant put on a tie? With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.
- Pretzels Two pretzels walked through a sketchy alleyway
One was a salted
The other was knot
* - I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good! Especially that ending, what a twist.
- My daughter made this one up Why is my hair cost money? Because I just brushed it so it's knot free!!
- A beekeeper said he wanted to train his hives to work with stitching and rope. I asked him if he really thought that would work, and he nodded and said May bee sew, may bee knot
- I don't worry about my friend whose fiancee left him at the altar I know he wants to hang himself, but he can't tie the knot.
- Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.
- What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed
- A string walks into a bar looking really tired and dirty, disheveled and twisted and the bartender says: "Hey buddy, are you okay?" To which the string replies: "I'm a frayed knot!"
- One man asked another, "Do you often work with rope?" The second man replied, "I confess, I do knot."
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Knot One Liners
Which knot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knot? I can suggest the ones about kink and kilt.
- There are only two outcomes in a knot-tying competition. Win or loose.
- TIL: rope can pass through themselves Ohh wait they can knot.
- What do you call a tangled rope in space? Astro-knot.
- Why did the couple get married in Bangkok? Because they wanted to Thai the knot.
- The String Theory might be the answer to everything... ..but then again, it might knot.
- At first, I forgot how to tie my shoe Then I did knot.
- What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl
- It's hard to believe, but pretzels are knot bread.
- What knot do you use to hang a man at an angle? A hypotenoose
- Did you hear about the new toll for tying shoes? It's knot fare
- I gave an annoying boy scout two ropes and asked him "Can you knot?"
- If one is an expert at tying knots, one does knot simply.
- Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.
- Earbuds. You can use them for music, but they'd rather knot.
- Would headphones get tangled in space? no, they would knot
Knot Tying Jokes
Here is a list of funny knot tying jokes and even better knot tying puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Can anybody else here tie pieces of string with their mind? Thought knot...
- What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it? Uh, like, can you knot?
*yessss my first original joke* - You need to be able do your shoelaces before you get married. Otherwise you might struggle to tie the knot.
- Should you tie or stitch your loose ends? Maybe sew maybe knot!
- I was trying to make a pun about knots... ...But I couldn't tie it together
- Did you hear about the knotting championship match? They tied.
- What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots.
- How do they tie things down on the space station? They use astro knots.
- Turns out I can only tie my shoelaces in one direction. That is knot right
- Built a robot to tie rope together... But it does knot work.
Tying Knot Jokes
Here is a list of funny tying knot jokes and even better tying knot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you tie space shoes? With astro-knots.
- How does Cthulhu wear a tie? With an Eldritch knot.
- My scout friend recently passed away. He died doing what he loved Tying knots
- A teen walks into a girl scout meeting. They're learning how to tie different types of knots.
The girl says "Can I join you?"
They reply "Can you knot?" - My friend: I am the best at tying strings together. Me: Know your knot!
- After 5 years with my girlfriend, I decided it was time to tie the knot. Hopefully the gag stays on too and I can finally get some peace.
- I want to tie a rope into the shape of the letter Y. Why you ask?
Y knot. - A man dedicated his life to tying bits of string together. Unfortunately, it was all for knot.
- Did you hear about the two junkies that fell in love? They tied the knot.
- How do Germans tie their shoes? With little knot-sies!
Frayed Knot Jokes
Here is a list of funny frayed knot jokes and even better frayed knot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A tattered rope walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey, are you a lasso?"
The rope replies, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot." - A string walks into a bar, hops on a stool & orders a beer; bartender says, "We don't serve strings in here. You're gonna have to leave."
String replies, "I'm a frayed knot." - A rope gets in an accident where it was split in half... The rope's friend, worried, asks if he is okay. The rope responds, "I'm a frayed knot"
- What did the rope say when it was asked if it was new? Sorry, I'm a frayed knot.
- Can you tie a knot? I'm a-frayed knot
- Is there knotting you're afraid of? Rope: I'm a frayed knot
- Was 6 afraid of 7? I'm a frayed knot!
Rope Knot Jokes
Here is a list of funny rope knot jokes and even better rope knot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I needed to climb something and I had to choose between a rope with knots in it or some parallel boards with spaced rungs... I'd choose the latter.
- What did the shoelace say to the annoying rope? Can you knot?
- Did the depressed rope maker succeed? Sadly, he did knot.
- My friend asked me if I could tie a rope... I awnser him "No, i can knot"
- What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage? "Let's knot."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." I say, "When you reach the end of a toilet paper roll, open your wallet, and pull out a receipt."
- What did the guilty rope say I did knot!
- Meteorology class was cancelled due to snow today, so I stayed home to practice tying a rope. I promised myself even if I can't go to school, I will learn weather or knot.
- I really hate untangling ropes, cables and the likes I'm knot really good with them
- Why did je rope want to be set free? Because why knot.
Hilarious Knot Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about knot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knot pranks.
So a string walks into a bar...
and the bartender says to him, "Hey no strings allowed. Get out!" So he goes out side, messes himself up, ties himself up, and goes back in. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string from earlier?" "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."
No Strings
Two strings wanted to go into a bar. The bar had a sign up "We do not serve strings" One of them said to the other I've got an idea. He slammed into the wall, scooted and twisted himself around on the ground and then began tearing at his ends. He walked into the bar and the bartender said "Hey aren't you a string?" He looked at the bartender and said "I'm a frayed knot"
String
A piece of string walks into a bar and takes a seat.
The bartender says to the piece of string "We don't serve your kind around here!" and kicks the string out of the bar.
The string gathers his composure, messes his hair up, and ties himself in a knot. He then resumes his seat at the bar.
The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out?"
The string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?
Knot cool
A rope walked into a bar...
A rope walked into a bar. The bartender said, "We don't serve your kind here! No ropes allowed!" The rope left, tied his top end, and fluffed out the fringe. He reentered the bar, and the bartender said, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just threw out?" "No," the rope said. "I'm a frayed knot."
A man is walking past the mental hospital
through the board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen...thirteen...thirteen. Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye! As he jumps back in pain he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen...fourteen...fourteen.
Strings
Three pieces of strings are standing outside a bar with the intention of having a drink. The first one walks in and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He answers, "yes". The bartender yells, "get outta my bar". The second goes in and the same thing happens. The third then says to the other two, "quick tie me into a frayed knot". They do so and he walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He says ,"No. I'm a frayed knot"
A rope walks into a bar...
And orders and drink. The bartender says," We don't serve ropes here." So the rope goes outside, frays his ends, and ties himself into a knot. He comes back in and once again orders a drink. The bartender says,"Aren't you that rope I just turned down?" To which the rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A joke from my 84yo patient earlier today...
When a man and a woman get married, they apply for a marriage license. When two l**... tie the knot, what do they get?
A liquor license! (read it out loud)
A piece of string walks into a bar
A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.
The bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."
Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.
He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Oi, aren't you that piece of string from before...?"
"No," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." The rope gets really mad and storms out, he scrunches over, gets all twisted up and pulls at his hair in frustration. The next day the rope goes back to the bar. The bartender looks at him thinking he recognizes him, he asks "aren't you that rope from yesterday?" The rope responds "I'm a frayed knot."
So this piece of rope walks into a bar...
...and he tries to order a drink, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind roun' here!" The piece of rope walks outside, ties himself in half a couple times, rubs himself in the dirt and drags his edges. He walks back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey! Ain't you that same piece of rope?!" The piece of rope says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"
A piece of rope walks into a bar.....
The bartender says, "hey, we don't serve your kind here. Now get out!" The piece of rope leaves, but it's determined to get a drink, so it starts rolling on the ground, ties itself up and splits it's ends. Looking beat up, the rope walks back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at the rope and says, "hey, aren't you that piece of rope that I just kicked out of here?" The rope looks at the bartender and says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A piece of rope walks into a bar...
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve rope here"
Rope walks outside, frizzes up his hair, and ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar.
Bartender says "Hey, aren't you the same piece of rope that I just kicked out of here?"
Rope says "No, I'm a frayed knot"
A piece of string walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "We don't serve no scrawny pieces of string in here."
The piece of string leaves, goes around back, ties himself up, ruffles his hair and re-enters the bar.
The bartender says, "Say aren't you that sorry piece of string that I told to beat it?"
The string replies, "frayed knot."
An old man and woman meet at a nursing home and decide to get married...
The nursing home doctor suggests they each get a physical before tying the knot.
The doctor examines the woman first. When the man comes in, the doctor tells him, "before we begin, I should tell you that your fiancee has acute angina."
"I know, doc. I've seen it several times already. That's why I'm marrying her!"
Strings are usually pretty straight
Unless they're knot
A piece of string wanted to get into a club
A piece of string wanted to get into a club that didn't let in pieces of string. So he twisted himself up, and frayed his top end.
The bouncer asked "Hey, aren't you a piece of string ?"
The piece of string said "No, I'm a frayed knot"
A piece of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind around here." The rope walks out back, ties himself up, and unravels his ends. The rope walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you that rope that was just in here a minute ago?" The rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."
Reading it one time might be not enough.
-"Hello, are you there?"
-"Yes, who are you please?"
-"I'm Watt"
-"What's your name?"
-"Watt's my name."
-"Yes, what's your name?"
-"My name is John Watt"
-"John what?"
-"Yes. Are you Jones?"
-"No, I'm Knott"
-"Will you tell me your name then?"
-"Will Knot"
-"Why not?"
-"My name is Knott"
-"Knot what?"
-"Not Watt, Knott."
-"What?"
The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world...
You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking.
**Suggestion for you**
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle right below the knot. Then ask someone, "Which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?" After they guess, let it unravel and go "It's a tie!".
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "get out, we don't serve ropes here." So the rope leaves, loosens up its end bits, and ties its self up. The rope then walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "aren't you the same rope I just told to get out of here?" And the rope says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar ...
A rope walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, we don't serve your kind here."
Dejected, the rope leaves. Outside he ties himself into a knot, frays his ends, and walks back into the bar. The bartender stops him and says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just sent out of here?"
To which the rope replies, "No. I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar..
A rope walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve ropes here. So the
rope goes outside and tangles himself all up and does his hair all funny, and walks back inside. And the bartender says "Aren't you the rope I just kicked out a moment ago?" And the rope says, " No I'm a frayed knot."
man bun? or d**... Knot?
neither, it's a fairy tail.
A piece of string walks into a bar...
and tries to order a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here"
The string goes back outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair.
The string goes back into the bar and orders again.
The bartender asks, "Aren't you that piece of string?"
"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot"
A piece of string walks into a bar...
And asks for a Beer.
The barman says: "I'm sorry we don't serve pieces of string".
So the piece of string walks outside, ruffles himself up, walks back into the bar and says: "Can I have a Beer please".
The barman replies: "Aren't you that piece of string I just asked to leave".
To which the piece of string replies: "No, I'm a frayed knot".
A string walks into a bar...
And orders a beer. The bartender tells him "We don't serve your kind here." The string walks outside and ties himself in a knot and separates his strands.
He walks back inside and orders a beer. The bartender asks him "Hey, didn't I tell you we don't serve your kind here?"
To which the string replies "I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve your kind".
So the rope walks out, twists himself up and parts his hair and then walks back in.
The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy who was here a moment ago?".
The rope replies "I'm a frayed knot."
A rope orders a drink...
But the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes here."
The rope goes outside, ties himself up, unravels one end, and goes back inside.
"Hey, aren't you that rope?" Says the bartender.
The rope shakes his head, "I'm frayed knot."
I read a riddle with a picture of an eye, a child, a finger pointing at me, and a knot
I kid you not, that's what it was
Curiosity
I walk past a mental Asylum every day and yesterday as I neared I could hear them chanting "Seven..Seven..Seven." This continued as I walked along the wooden fence and I found myself looking for a gap to see what was going on. About 100m down the fence i spotted a hole where the knot had fallen out and hurried towards it. I jammed my eye up to the hole, rather excited to see the ruckus and a finger sprung out and jabbed me in th eye. "Eight..eight..eight."
What is Borat's Favorite Band
Slip...
...
...
...
...
Knot!
If I were a sailor, I think I'd be pretty bad at puns...
Knot!
So a piece of string goes into a bar...
The bartender says, "we don't serve your kind here."
The string goes outside, twists itself, and parts its hair.
And the string goes back inside, and the bartender yells, "aren't you the same guy from earlier!"
The string replies only with, "I'm a frayed knot."
There was a family of balloons...
Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon, and Baby Balloon.
One night, Baby Balloon crept into his parents' bedroom. He carefully undid Daddy's knot and deflated him a little.
Then he did the same to Mummy. Then he undid his own knot and let some air out.
The next morning Daddy Balloon confronted him.
"Baby Balloon, we are very disappointed in you. You let me down. You let your mother down. But worst of all...
You let yourself down!"
I just made love to my girlfriend
She asked, "If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?"
I took off my c**..., tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet.
"Well" I said, "If he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini".
A rope walks into a bar
The bartender refuses to serve him, saying, We don't serve rope here.
The rope walks outside, ducks into an alley, loops himself around himself until he is short and fat. Then he messes his hair up and walks back into the bar.
The bartender looks him up and down. Hey, aren't you that rope I kicked out of here before?
I'm a frayed knot.
My wife asked if we should try b**....
I said, "We'd better knot."
I am a fried nut
A string walks into a bar, and the bartender's all like "HEY, WE DON'T SERVE STRING IN HERE". Now obviously this makes the string very angry, so he goes outside and just goes CRAZY. He's rolling around, punching walls, hitting the ground, and by the time he's finally tired out he got himself all t**... and his ends frayed. So he walks back into the bar, and the bartender's like "HEY, ARE YOU THAT STRING FROM EARLIER?" And the string says "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
You wanted to know if the ship was moving, or if it was just wind
weather or knot, it mattered.
A string walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign that says "no strings allowed".
A string walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign that says "no strings allowed".
So the string goes outside, ties himself up, messes up his hair and comes back into the bar. The bartender yells "aren't you that string I just kicked out?" The string replies "I'm a frayed knot!"
3 strings walk into a bar.
The first one orders a drink.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."
So the second string ties itself into a bow and proceeds to order a drink.
"Nope", says the bartender, "you're a string."
Then the third string ties itself into a knot and frays each end, then orders a drink.
The bartender eyes the string up and down and says, "Aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Frayed knot!"
I'm gonna buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces
Why knot?
A string goes into a bar
the bartender says, "we don't serve your kind". The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair, then comes back inside. The bartender asks, "aren't you the same guy from just a minute ago?" "I'm a frayed knot" says the piece of string
A piece of string walks into a bar
The bar tender says sorry we don't serve you kind round here
The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar,
The bartender says sorry aren't you the same guy from before
The string replies I'm a frayed knot
A piece of string walks into a bar.
The bartender says, I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here.
Hearing that, the piece of string walks out, parts its hair, ties it up, combs it, and walks back into the bar.
The bartender asks, Didn't you just walk in here?
The piece of string says, I'm a frayed knot.
What did the depressed teen say to the other depressed teen?
Can you knot?
My mate asked me to untangle his earphones but I messed them up even more.
I was knot helping.
String vs bartender
A string walks into a bar bartender yells at him we don't serve your kind here So the string walks out of the bar, bends over, mess up his hair, and walks back into the bar bartender asked him aren't you that string I threw out earlier string looks at him and says No I'm a frayed knot
What is a gay sailor's favorite knot?
The balloon-knot.
A piece of rope walks into a bar.
After very inappropriate behaviour, the bartender asks the rope to leave.
The rope leaves and gives itself a makeover by unravelling himself at the top and tying himself into a knot.
It returns the next day and the bartender asks Aren't you the same guy yesterday?
It says: I'm a frayed knot.
A rope walks into a bar....
The bartender says, "hey, we don't serve ropes here sir". So the rope goes out side gets twisted and messes up his hair and walks back in minutes later.
"Hey are you that rope that I told to leave earlier" shouted the bartender. He looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm a frayed knot".
A string walks into a bar...
The bartender says, I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here.
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, Hey, aren't you a string?
The string says, Nope, I'm a frayed knot.
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't," he replied.
I ate some tangled up wool.
I s**... ewe knot
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender points at him and says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind around here. Get out! "
The rope calmly exits the building, twists himself up, parts his hair, and goes back inside a few minutes later.
The bartender sees him again and asks angrily, "Aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
"No, sir." the rope responds, "I'm a frayed knot."
My new party trick...
I s**... two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my a**... tied together.
I s**... you knot.
I thought you knew the common term for an ancestal entanglement...
A parently knot.
I've been taking care of my elderly grandfather and he asked me to come tie his shoes while he was on the toilet
I said, "you can't be serious"
He said, "I s**..., you knot"
Reposting my favorite joke for cakeday!
So a string walks into a bar, bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." The string walks out, parts and ruffles his hair and walks back in. The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy from earlier?". The string replies "I'm a FRAYED KNOT".
