JokoJokes

Knock Knock Sorry Jokes

54 knock knock sorry jokes and hilarious knock knock sorry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock sorry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knock Knock Sorry Short Jokes

Short knock knock sorry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock knock sorry humour may include short knock knock love jokes also.

  1. A Police officer knocks on the door and says to the man I'm sorry to say this sir but it looks like your girlfriend's been hit by a truck. The man replied, Yeah, but she has a great personality
  2. My son made up this joke. Knock knock -Who's there?
    -Alexa
    -Alexa who?
    -Sorry I don't know that one. You can always leave feedback on the Alexa app.
  3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the forgetful idiot's house.
    *Knock knock
    Who is there?
    The forgetful idiot. Sorry i forgot where my house is, can you help me?

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Delightful Fun Knock Knock Sorry Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about knock knock sorry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knock knock i miss you jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock knock sorry pranks.

a man knocks on a lady's door and said
'i'm terribly sorry miss but i ran over your cat,. because i'm responsible of its death i would like to replace your cat ' and the lady said ' thank You so how are you at you at catching mice then?'

a man knocks on a lady's door and said
'i'm terribly sorry miss but i ran over your cat,. because i'm responsible of its death i would like to replace your cat ' and the lady said ' thank You so how are you at you at catching mice then?'

A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.
"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.
The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.
"I'm sorry, but there is a cow in the barn, and they are sacred to me."
"No problem," says the Rabbi, and he goes to the barn. Again though, he returns and knocks. "There is also a pig in there, and that is against our teachings."
"I will go then, friends," says the Jehovah's Witness, and he proceeds to the barn. A few moments later, there is a knock at the door. It's the cow and the pig.

My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)

Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability to focus making me quiet but don't actually say it)

A man and woman live in a two story house.

A man and woman live in a two story house and sleep on the second floor. At 3 a.m. they're awakened by a knock at the front door. The man goes to the window, opens it and looks down but can't see anyone.
"Who's out there?" he asks.
A voice says, "Please help me. I need a push."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "I'm not leaving my house at this hour."
He gets back into bed. His wife says, "Honey, don't you remember when our daughters were stuck in that bad part of Oakland at 3 in the morning, and if that stranger didn't give them a jumpstart, they would been there for hours?"
"Yeah, you're right," the man says. He gets out of bed and returns to the window. "Are you still down there?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Do you still need that push?"
"Yes."
"Where are you?" the man asks.
"I'm over here on your swings."

A cop knocks on a man's front door late one night

and he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. "Sure," he says, a bit puzzled. The man produces a picture from his wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer takes one look and takes a long, deep breath.
With difficulty, he looks the man in the eyes and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife's been hit by a truck."
The man replies, "I know, but she's got a great personality and she can really cook."

Mothman

So a man is out late at night, walking to his doctors office. He gets there and knocks on the door. The doctor comes out and asks the man why he came so late. The man responds by saying:
''Doc, i'm sorry to be bothering you at such a late hour, but I think that I may be turning into a moth!"
"A moth! You don't need to see me, you need to see a psychiatrist!" says the doctor
"Well, I was on my way, but I noticed that your light was on!"

Tickle me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning
to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Tickle Me Elmo

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee.
He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry
(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

A man and wife are in bed one night

when suddenly there's a knock at the door. Bleary eyed, the man staggers down the stairs mumbling profanities and opens the front door to see an old man.
"Im sorry to have woken you up but i was wondering if you can help me by giving me a bit of a push?"
"what??" Replied the man, "you woke me ip at two in the morning for that? Get lost. I have work in the morning"
He slams the door and marches back upstairs. As he gets into bed his wife enquires as to who was at the door.
"Oh, some old fella wanting a push. At this time of night" he snapped.
"And you didn't help him?" His wife asked, "What if it were me and our car broke down. Do you think you'd be happy knowing someone couldn't be bothered to help me? I think you should go out there and help him right now"
"Oh alright" he muttered. He put on his housecoat and the nearest pair of shoes and went back downstairs to see if the man was still there.
Upon getting outside, he couldn't see the man or his car anywhere.
"Hello!? Are you still there?" He shouted.
"Im over here" a voice called out. "on the swings"

So Prince Charles is hunting in the woods

When he notices a rustling in the bushes. After shooting at it he hears a yelp and goes to see what he's shot. To his horror, he's accidentally killed one of the Queen's corgis. "Oh Mother will be so angry" he thinks to himself. It is at that moment that he stumbles and knocks over a lamp on the ground and a genie appears and says "You freed me from the lamp, so I shall grant you a wish!" Delighted by this amazing coincidence, Charles says "Yes could you bring this dog back to life?" Sadly the genie replies, "I'm sorry but I cannot raise a living thing from the dead, it is too great a task even for me."
Crestfallen, Charles decides he may as well go for a selfish wish then and says "If that's the case, could you make Camilla beautiful?"
Awkwardly, the genie responds "So you shot your dog, huh?"

A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."
He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."
The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."
The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

A salesman knocks on the door and a small child answers

The salses man asks, "Is your father home"?
"No, he was ran over by a tractor".
"I'm sorry to hear that, is your mother home"?
"No, she was ran over by a tractor".
"Do you have any big brother or sister at home"?
"No, they were ran over by a tractor"
"So what are you doing here all alone"?
"I'm driving a tractor"

A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.

When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"
Got this one from my grandpa.

An elderly couple live next to a highway...

One night they wake up to hear a knock at the door. The husband, grumbling about the late hour, gets up, heads downstairs and opens the door to see a stranger.
The stranger says, "Terribly sorry to wake you but I was wondering if you could give me a push?"
The elderly man replies that it is the middle of the night and he is too old for physical exertion. He then heads back to bed. Upon getting in bed the wife asked him what happened and is shocked to hear that he did not help the stranger. "Go outside and help him right now!" she demands.
The old man begrudgingly gets dressed and walks outside. He looks left and right and doesn't see the man or his car anywhere along the highway. "Where are you?" he shouts.
"Over here on the swings!"

Knocking at the door

Someone knocked at a man's door.
He opened it but saw no one, so he closed it.
He then receives a text from his 4'11 friend, asking why he didn't open the door.
He replied "Sorry, I guess I overlooked it."

So a cop knocked on my door this morning.

He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'
I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'

A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door

>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"
>"I bin Hong Kong!"
>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"
>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"
Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!

A salesman's car breaks down

A traveling salesman's car breaks down near an Ohio farmhouse. The salesman knocks on the door and explains his situation to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer says, "Its Friday night, I doubt you can get a tow into town tonight, so I'll let you stay the night. I have only one rule, under no circumstances are you to have s**... with my son."
"I'm sorry," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.

He opens it to find two policemen standing there. One policeman asks if he is married. He says, Yes, I am.
The policeman then says, I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck.
The guy replies, I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.

World's Best Vacuum Cleaner

A young man knocks on a residential door and an elderly lady answers, the young man says "hello maam, I'm here to show you the world's best vacuum cleaner!", she responds "sorry but I'm not interested and I have no money" as she tries to close the door.
Of course the young man puts his foot in the door and says "Maam, I'm so confident that this is the World's Best Vacuum Cleaner that I'll eat what's in this bag if you smell anything after this vacuum cleans and deodorizes your carpet!" He then takes a small bag of horse manure and dumps it right on her carpet in front of her.
She starts walking away to the back of the house and he says "where are you going maam, don't you want to see the world's best vacuum cleaner in action?", she replies "I'm going to get you some silverware from the kitchen because my power was turned off last week".

A man decided to rest after taking a drive...

And goes to sleep in his car. Minutes later a cyclist knocks on his window, waking him up and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what the time is?".The man replies, Sorry, I don't know the time." After going back to sleep, he is awoken again by a jogger, who asks, "Sorry, but do you know what the time is?". The man, quite annoyed, says " I don't know what the time is!" After the jogger leaves, them man makes a sign saying "I do not know what the time is!", leaves it in his window and goes back to sleep. Then, again there is a knock on the window and standing there is a Scout. "What is it you want?", asks the man. The boy replies, "The time's 5:43."

A barber is telling his customer about the stupidest kid he knows..

He tells him, "I tell everyone about this kid and what a m**... he is. Every time he comes by I offer him two quarters OR a single dollar bill. He takes the quarters every time...never learns."
Right as they're talking the kid walks by the window. The barber knocks and waves him in. The kid walks up and the barber offers him two quarters or a dollar bill. The kid takes the quarters and leaves.
"You see that? Every single time! I feel sorry for our future." says the barber.
Curious, the customer chases the kid down and asks, "Why do you take the two quarters? You know one dollar is worth more, right?"
"Of course I do, but the day I take the dollar, he'll stop paying me"

A blonde walks up to her blonde mom...

and asks,
"Mom, why does everyone think we are s**...?"
Her mum chuckles and says
"Bring me a p**..."
A bit confused, the daughter goes and grabs a p**... from the kitchen and hands it to her mom. Soon after the mother starts knocking on the p**....
The daughter turns to the door and says,
"Mom! Someone is at the door!"
The mom chuckles and says,
"See, this is why people think Blondes are s**......
now hold this p**... so I can go answer the door."
*Edit* Changed gender of daughter back, sorry tumblr.

A driver was swerving all over the road...

... then was pulled over by a police officer. The police officer knocked on the door and said,
"Sir, please blow into this machine"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have asthma, and it might trigger an asthma attack"
"Okay, could we get a blood sample then?"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I have diabetes, and it might upset my blood sugar level"
"Okay, then just step outside your car and walk in a straight line"
"Sorry officer, I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk"

'Knock knock'

'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '

A police officer knocked on my door last night.

He held up a picture and said to me, "Is this your wife?"
"Yes, that's her", I replied to him.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this" the officer said, "but it looks like she's been in a car c**...".
"I know" I replied, but she has a lovely personality".

Hit a rooster

A traveling salesman was driving through farm country. He took his eye off the road for a second, then all of a sudden "WHAM!" -- he ran over a rooster crossing the road.
He stopped the car, got out, confirmed the rooster was dead, and saw a nearby farmhouse. He drove up to the house, knocked on the door, and an old farmer answered. The salesman said, "I was driving past and I think I accidentally ran over your rooster. I'm terribly sorry, but I'm more than willing to replace him."
The farmer looked puzzled for a minute, and finally shrugged his shoulders and said "Suit yourself. The hens are around the back."

A drunk stumbles out of a bar...

...and meanders down the street. He makes his way into a church and enters the confessional booth. A priest is there and waits a minute, but the drunk says nothing. He waits 5 minutes, then 10, and still there's silence. Finally, the priest knocks loudly on the dividing wall, and the drunk pipes up, "Sorry, pal, I can't help you. I've got no paper over here, either."

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet.

"That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"
"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

"A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor ...

"A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor and asked the woman who answered the door, "Is Fred home?"
"Sorry, Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the bill collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir. I'm afraid he has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?"
"No, Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and check the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with the inscription, "Gone, But Not for Cotton.""

I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.

So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."
She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"

One night, a Police officer knocks on a woman's door...

"Ma'am", he says, removing his hat, "we have bad and good news".
"bad news first" the woman replies.
"I'm sorry, but a serial killer attacked your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor"
The woman begins crying. "so what's the good news?"
"When we pulled him up he had 20 four-pound lobsters crawling on him. Want one?"
"No way. that's disgusting!" the woman sobbed
"Well, if you change your mind, we're pulling him up again tomorrow"

A woman ran over my cat with her car.

The cat was killed and the woman knocked on my door. "I'm so sorry. I've accidentally killed your cat and I'd like to replace it." I said "I'm sure we can work something out, but first I need to know if you can catch mice."

She's a keeper

This guy is sitting at home alone when
he hears a knock on the front door.
There are two sheriff's deputies there;
he asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is
married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.
The guy says "sure " and shows him a
picture of his wife. The sheriff says,
"I'm very sorry sir, but it looks like your
wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy says, " I know, but she has a
great personality and she's an excellent cook."

The secretary of defense is telling the president a joke

Secretary: Knock Knock
President: Who's there?
Secretary: 9/11
President: 9/11 who?
Secretary: You said you would never forget
Sorry if it's a repost. I haven't seen it on here yet.

I got kicked off my bowling team the other day

I managed to knock all the pins down on my first two turns. Then on my third turn I did it again and the leader of the team turned to me and said "Sorry, you're going to have to leave the team".
Apparently they have a three strike policy.

A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Priest are lost. They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn, says the Farm Owner.
The Hindu immediately volunteers. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.
I'm sorry, but there is a cow in the barn, and they are sacred to me.
No problem, says the Rabbi, and he goes to the barn. Again though, he returns and knocks. There is also a pig in there, and that is against our teachings.
I will go then, friends, says the Priest, and he proceeds to the barn. A few moments later, there is a knock at the door. It's the cow and the pig.

A staggering drunk knocks over a pregnant lady who is carrying a bag of groceries...

2 eggs and a bottle of ketchup fall and break to the sidewalk. The drunk say "Sorry lady, but it would have died anyway. Its eyes were too far apart.

A woman is preparing dinner for her husband

While she was setting the table, a minister and the manager of the brewery the husband works at knock on the door.
When she opens the door the manager says, "We're extremely sorry, but this morning your husband fell into one of the vats of beer and drowned"
The woman explodes at the manager, "He died this morning and your telling me this now!?!?!?"
The manager replies, "Well, he got out a couple times to use the bathroom"

A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

An old woman hears a knock on her door and opens it to see a man standing there, hat in hand.

I'm terribly sorry but I ran over your cat with my car.
The old woman breaks down in tears and starts crying uncontrollably.
The man says I know it won't be the same but I'd really like to replace your cat.
The woman stops crying for a moment, looks up, and says I don't know........ how are you at catching mice?

It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you

him: Knock knock
me: Who's there?
him: A snail
me: a snail who?
him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

A guy is sitting home alone, when suddenly he hears a knock on the door.

He gets up to answer. There are two policemen outside. They ask him if he's married. He says yes and the policemen want to see the photo of the wife. He gets one and shows it to them.
The policemen exchange sad looks and one of them says:
"I'm very sorry, but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
"Yeah I guess, but she's got a great sense of humor and cooks a h**... of a brisket."

A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…

The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!

For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...

*Knock-knock*
~ Who's there?
~ You know
~ you know who?
*avada kedavra!*
Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.

A man in the army walks up to the General's office...

A man in the army walks up to the General's office and knocks. The General says "Come in". The man enters the office, salutes at the General, and says "Sir, I'd like you to demote me from my rank, all the soldiers make fun of me!"
"Sorry, but demotion is not something we carry out in the army, Major Failure"

the day after halloween, a trick or treater knocked on my door.....

he was dressed in just red tights and a red spandex shirt, red sneakers, red hat.
i said to him, "sorry little buddy, halloween is over, i dont have anything for you today...what are you supposed to be anyway>?"
he said "im a period, sorry im late..scared ya didnt i?"

needless to say he got a handfull of candy from one of my kids bags. how could you not reward that creativity?

A guy suddenly hears a knock on his door at 2 in the morning.

Dragging himself out of bed, he goes to answer it. There in the doorway is a man and he asks, sorry to bother you, can you give me a push?
The guy tell him to scram and goes back to bed. After a mini, he remembers when he ran out of gas once and decides to help the poor fellow.
He gets back out of bed, goes outside and says into the night, if you still need that push I can help.
Then he hears, great! I'm over here on the swings!

jokes about knock knock sorry