Knock Knock School Jokes
15 knock knock school jokes and hilarious knock knock school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Knock Knock School Short Jokes
Short knock knock school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock knock school humour may include short school knock knock jokes also.
- I remember once before a big school exam, I wanted to get a good night's rest, so I asked my Mom if I could borrow some of her sleeping pills. She said "Sure! Knock yourself out!"
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Comical Knock Knock School Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about knock knock school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knock knock office jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock knock school pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
B'dum tsss
A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?
A police officer pulls over a driver...
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
My 3 year old told me a joke on our way home from pre-school.
From her car seat yells up to me, "Knock knock, Daddy!"
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!!
My 12 year old son is already trying to be a dad
He gave me three jokes:
Q: Why couldn't Sam go on the swing set at school?
A: Because he's a turtle.
Q: Why couldn't Sally go on the swing set at school?
A: Because she doesn't have any arms.
Knock knock
(Who's there?)
Well, obviously not Sally!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A reformed Mexican g**... was trying to change his life...
so he decides to go back to school and one night he was writing a book report, he was sitting at his desk by the window and a gust of wind knocked his papers away and scattered outside...he says "Come back here essay!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
some knock knock jokes my daughter told me on the way home from school
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana skin."
"Banana skin, who?"
"Yay! Someone slipped on me! You know, *because people slip on banana skins*."
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Toilet paper."
"Toilet paper, who?"
"Noooo! Don't wipe me on your droopy bottom!"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Garbage."
"Garbage, who?"
"You won't get me clean! I like being smelly!"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"House."
"House, who?"
"I'm going to chomp you up! Into teeny, tiny pieces! ***because I'm an evil house***"
I don't think she quite grasps how knock knock jokes are supposed to work.
A car
A police officer stopped a car on the highway and went up to the driver. He saw the man, and said: "You've just won $1000 for wearing a seat belt! What are you going to do with your prize money?" The man thought, and said back: "Maybe go to the driving school and get my licence!" His wife told the cop: "Don't listen to him, he's a smartass when he's drunk".
All of this talking made a passenger in the back of the car wake up, and he blurted out: "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car. Why didn't you change the number plate?" A knock emerged from the trunk of the car, and the person in the trunk said: "Are we at the border yet?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny
One day, Little Johnny came home from school early and walked in on his parents having s**....
Little Johnny: "What are you two doing?"
Father: "I am playing *Poker* son"
Little Johnny: "What about mom?"
Father: "Don't worry about her, she is my *Wildcard*"
Little Johnny shrugged, put down is backpack and went to the bathroom. An hour passed by and his dad became concerned.
Father: *Knocks on the door* "Little Johnny! Are you okay?" *No response* "LITTLE JOHNNY! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Still no response, his dad knocks down the door to catch Little Johnny playing with himself.
Father: "What were you doing in here, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny: "I was playing *Poker*, Dad."
Father: "Oh really? If you're playing *Poker, then where is your Wildcard*?"
Little Johnny: "*Dad, when you have a hand this good, you don't need no Wildcard*"
A police officer pulls over a driver...
A police officer pulls over a driver and
informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks. The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car." Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
A hearty laugh after a long time.
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
A lawyer is working late one night. There's a knock on his door, and in walks Satan...
Satan walks in, takes a seat, and starts talking.
"I'm here to make you an offer. I will give you all the fame, success, power, and wealth that you've ever desired. You'll be the top of your field; you can even get into politics, if you want. Schools will adopt your name. Want to own an island? How about three islands? All of that, and more...
"...and the only thing I ask for in exchange is a promise from you. You promise that your soul, the soul of your wife, and the souls of your children will be mine for all eternity."
The lawyer says nothing. He stands up, scratches his chin, and wanders around the office for a few minutes, thinking. Finally he turns to Satan and says incredulously, "All right, all right, wait just a second here. What's the catch?"
I don't want to get up, Papa.
An elderly gentleman knocks on his son's bedroom door. John, he says, wake up!
John answers, I don't want to get up, Papa.
The father shouts, Get up, you have to go to school.
John says, I don't want to go to school.
Why not? asks the father.
Three reasons, says John. First, because it's so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school.
And the father says, Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster.
A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by.
Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!"
His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face.
The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor.
At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion.
The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently.
The class fell silent... waiting.
Eventually, the Professor came to.
When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row.
"What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?"
The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."