Knock Knock Golf Jokes
4 knock knock golf jokes and hilarious knock knock golf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock golf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Knock Knock Golf Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What is a good knock knock golf joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Parking...
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver's window and knocked.
The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.
"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
.
.
.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."
Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...
and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.
Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.
The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf...
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."
After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"
"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"
"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."
There is a long pause.
"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Golfing rage.
A man and his wife are out golfing one day. The wife tees off and breaks a window on an expensive looking house. Feeling guilty the man decides to talk to the owner and pay for the damages.
They knock on the door, but nobody seems to answer. Being the nice couple they were they enter the house to leave a number. A man calmly walks down the stairs and proclaims "I am a genie and I own this house, since I am a generous man I will grant you two 3 wishes but as you see I am very lonely having no contact with hardly anyone the only thing I as is for granting you these 3 wishes I would wish to have s**... with your wife. The couple talk it over for a while and agree to the genie. The first wish, the man asks 'I wish for a million dollars.' 'done' says the genie. The wife says, 'I wish for a house on every corner of the earth.'
'done'
'As for the last wish, I wish for a cruise ship.'
'done.'
His wife then leaves upstairs with the genie, after a couple hours the genie and his wife come down the stairs.
'So how was?' says the man.
'Good, but it surprises me you still believe in genies!'
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