Knock Knock Food Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Joke my mom just told me when I asked her why she never tells any jokes

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."

George and the Dragon

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.

"No!" she said rather sternly.

"Could I have a pint of ale?"

"No!" she snapped again.

"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"

"No!"

By this time, she was fairly shouting.

The vagabond tried again: "Might I please...?"

"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.

"Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?"

A traveling salesman...

A traveling salesman couldn't find a hotel one night.

He saw a light on a deserted road, and decided to knock on the door. It turned out to be a monastery; the monks were preparing dinner.

He was invited to join the others while the food was being prepared. They sat round in a circle; each monk would recite a number and the others would laugh. Intrigued, the salesman spoke up.

What are you guys doing?

One of the elder monks replied, We're telling jokes.

By saying numbers?

Yes. You see, we've heard the jokes so many times, we have them catalogued. We don't need to tell the whole joke; we just refer to its number. Go ahead and try.

The salesman thought for a second, and said, 78.

The monks were in hysterics. Some were doubled over with laughter, others had tears rolling down their eyes, a few were pounding the table with their fists.

When the laughter died down, the traveler asked, Can you tell me what's so funny?

We never heard that one before!

Why some put angels as Christmas tree toppers.

One year, Santa procrastinated too much and had an hour to go over his naughty nice list.

He was in a cabin gaining some progress when he heard a knock on his door. "Santa, we need your help in the workshop!"

Frustrated, Santa yelled "I'm busy right now, handle it yourselves. I can't afford to be interrupted!" And slammed the door.

Not 15 minutes later another knock is heard and his agitation is climbing. He opens the door and yells "What?!"

It was Mrs. Claus and she said startled "I brought you some food."

His face tuning red, he says "I've got a half hour left to check this list, I can't be interrupted!" He then slammed the door on his wife. He then says "I swear, the next interruption I get I'll just lose it."

About 20 minutes passed when he heard a knock at the door. He stormed to the door with a burning hatred when he opened it. It was an angel holding a Christmas tree. "Hey Santa, where do you want the tree?"

USSR jokes about America

My dad told me this one was a classic when he lived in the former Soviet Union:

So as you know, Russia and America would send spies against each other frequently. All American spies were mandated to learn Russian and all Russians English.

Well so, the American spy gets dropped off in the middle of Siberia. Freezing, he goes to the nearest house and knocks.

When the owner gets to the door, the spy says, "May I please have some shelter and food?"

The owner of the house replies, "..........YOU MUST BE SPY!"

The spy immediately is baffled and attempts to cover up, "What are you talking about?!"

"No black man speaks Russian!"

A homeless man comes to a rich man's house and knocks on the door

"Please sir," says the homeless man, "I've not eaten in the last 3 days. Would you let me come in for some food?"

The owner of the house is sympathetic and tells the man, "you can come in, if you paint the porch round back. There's a bucket of yellow paint next to it."

The homeless man agrees, and half an hour later comes to the door again.

"Finished already? Come on in then, my wife is in the kitchen cooking you up a good meal."

"Thank you, sir," replied the homeless man, "but just so you know, it's a BMW you've got, not a porche."

Jokes from glorious motherland USSR

A man is walking along the road wearing only one boot. 'Did you lose a boot?' a passerby asks sympathetically. 'No, I found one,' the man answers happily.

What is it that doesn't knock, growl or scratch the floor? A machine made in the USSR for knocking, growling, and scratching the floor.

It is the middle of the night. There is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door. 'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.'

A shopper asks a food store clerk, 'Are you all out of meat again?' 'No, they're out of meat in the store across the way. Here we're out of fish.'

Why doesn't the Soviet Union send people to the Moon? They are afraid they won't come back.

A man fell asleep on a bus. When someone stepped on his foot, he woke with a start and applauded. 'What are you doing, citizen?' 'I was dreaming I was at a meeting.'

'What is the difference between Pravda [Truth] and Izvestia [The News]?'
'There is no truth in The News, and no news in the Truth.'

A homeless man knocks on a woman's door, looking for help...

"Think you could spare a few bucks? maybe some food?"

The woman thinks to herself for a few seconds, then says,

"You could do some handy work around here, I'd be glad to give you $30 if you paint my porch. There's some green paint and a brush right around the corner there, have at it."

He thanks her, and heads towards the bucket. She returns inside and resumes her knitting. After about an hour, she gets up to check on his progress, and sees no man, or a freshly painted porch. Just then, she hears a knocking again at her door, and goes to open it.

She is greeted by the same man, green paint splattered on his clothes and in his beard, a wide grin on his face.

"All done ma'am. and by the way, it's a Cadillac, not a Porche."

Reunion

*What is Reunion?*

Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.

Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.

Her husband comes and knocks on the door.

You go under the bed.

The husband enters the bedroom.

Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.

The husband takes advantage of the wife's absence to call your wife.

Your wife quickly arrives and they make love.

Suddenly his wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.

You're still under the bed.

Your wife rushes to hide under the bed.

*This is REUNION*

Valentines Jokes for Kids

What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day? I wuv you watts and watts!

What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.

What do you call the world's smallest Valentine’s Day card? A valen-teeny.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!

Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? They are very scent-imental creatures.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the candy is on sale.

What did one bee say to the other? I love bee-ing with you, honey!

What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day? Don't ever change, you're purrrfect.



Why would you want to marry a goalie? Because he (or she) is a real keeper!

What type of shape is most popular on Valentine's Day? Acute triangle.

Have you got a date for Valentine's Day? Yeah, it's February 14th.

What did the painter say to her sweetheart? I love you with all my art.

What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend? Sherwood like to be your valentine.

Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? He stole her heart.

What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

What kind of candy is never on time? Choco-LATE.

What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? Be my Valen-slime!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who got a Valentine!

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!

What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.

How did the phone propose to his GF? He gave her a ring.

What did the one sheep say to the other? I love ewe!

And how did the other sheep respond? You’re not so baaaaaa-d yourself

What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.

And what did the tweenager give his mom? Ughs and kisses!

Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party? Because you can really party hearty!

What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!

What do owls say to declare their love? Owl be yours!

What did Frankenstien's monster say to his bride on Valentine's Day? Be my Valenstein!

Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for being my friend!




  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Jimmy. Jimmy who? Jimmy a little kiss?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Atlas. Atlas who? Atlas Valentine’s Day is here!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke, I got a Valentine!
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alec. Alec who? Alec to kiss your cheek.
  • Knock Knock Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea my Valentine.
  • Knock Knock Who’s there? Emma. Emma who? Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day.
  • Knock Knock Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for being my friend.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to be my Valentine?


  1. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  2. Q: What do you call a very small Valentine? A: A valentiny.
  3. Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? A: You can always count on me.
  4. Q: What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Vale nine’s Day? A: You mean a great dill to me.
  5. Q: Why did the man send his wife’s Valentine through twitter? A: Because she is his tweetheart.
  6. Q: What Valentine’s Day candy is only for girls? A: HER-SHE’s Kisses.
  7. Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? A: ChocoLATE
  8. Q: What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day? A: Mayflowers
  9. Q: What did one snake say to the other snake? A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
  10. Q: What did cavemen give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Lots of ughs and kisses.
  11. Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day? A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
  12. Q: What did one font say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re just my type.
  13. Q: What food is crazy about Valentine’s Day chocolates? A: A cocoa-nut.
  14. Q: What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert? A: Chocolate mousse
  15. Q: What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you a watt.
  16. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  17. Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts.
  18. Q: Why did the boy put clothes on the valentines card he was sending? A: He thought they needed to be ad-dressed.
  19. Q: What did the girl bumble bee say to the boy bumble bee on Valentine’s Day? A: I love bee-ing with you, Honey.
  20. Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring.
  21. Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m nuts about you.
  22. Q: Which animal shares the most love? A: A heartvaark
  23. Q: What did the sheep say to the other on February 14th? A: Wool you be my valentine.
  24. Q: Who did the man send a Valentine to through twitter? A: His tweetheart.
  25. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  26. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  27. Q: Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? A: To the meatball.
  28. Q: What did the seamstress say to express her love? A: You’re sew special to me.
  29. Q: What did the blueberry say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you berry much.
  30. Q: What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you’ll go places.
  31. Q: Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? A: Because they’re scent-imental.
  32. Q: Why did the Valentine get arrested? A: For stealing someone’s heart.
  33. Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow want to go to the Valentine’s Day dance? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  34. Q: Who wrote the best love songs in the 60’s? A: Heart Garfunkel
  35. Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
  36. Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
  37. Q: What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re purrr-fect for me.
  38. Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Somebunny loves you.
  39. Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow want to go to the Valentine’s Day dance? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  40. Q: What did the circle say to the triangle on Valentine’s Day? A: I think you’re acute.
  41. Q: Why did they put the boy’s girlfriend in jail? A: Because she stole his heart.
  42. Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Whale you be mine?
  43. Q. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A. I lava you.
  44. Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: A hug and a quiche.
  45. Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card? A: A card that says “I love you drool-ly”
  46. Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you beary much.
  47. Q: What did the painter say to his girlfriend? A: “I love you with all my art.”
  48. Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: I love ewe.
  49. Q: What does someone who loves their car do on February 14? A: They give it a valenshine.
  50. Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day? A: You are bee-utiful.
  51. Q: Why do Valentines have hearts on them? A: Because gall bladders would look pretty yucky.
  52. Q: What did the pencil say to the paper? A: I dot my i’s on you.
  53. Q: What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you baaaaaaack.
  54. Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? A: Owl be yours.
  55. Q: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re purr-fect for me.
  56. Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Lets hang out.
  57. Q: Did you hear about the man who promised his girlfriend a diamond for Valentine’s Day? A: He took her to a baseball park.
  58. Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you a ton.
  59. Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re not so baaaa-d.
  60. Q: What is the most romantic city in England? A: Loverpool.
  61. Q: Why is Valentine’s Day a great day for a party? A: Because you can party hearty.
  62. Q: What did the pickle say to his Valentine? A: You mean a great dill to me.
  63. Q: What happened when the two angels got married? A: They lived harpily ever after.
  64. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m stuck on you.
  65. Q: What’s the best part about Valentines Day? A: The next day when all the chocolate goes on sale.
  66. Q: What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: Rugs and kisses.
  67. Q: What is a ram’s favorite song on February 14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
  68. Q: What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine’s Day? A: Third degree burns on your lips.
  69. Q: What did the vampire call his sweetheart? A: His ghoul-friend.
  70. Q: What happened when the two tennis players met? A: It was lob at first sight.
  71. Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Be my Valenstein.
  72. Q: What did one piece of string say to the other on February 14th? A: “Be my valentwine.”
  73. Q: What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: By my valenslime
  74. Q: What did one calculator say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
  75. Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Lots of hogs and kisses.
  76. Q: What did one door bell say to the other on February 14th? A: “Be my valenchime.”
  77. Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A: “You’re fun to hang around with.”
  78. Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? A: Because it’s got heart.
  79. Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
  80. Q: What did the whipped cream say to the ice cream on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m sweet on you.
  81. Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? A: Cauliflowers.
  82. Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
  83. Q: Did you hear about the blind porcupine? A: He fell in love with a pin cushion.
  84. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  85. Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? A: Because it couldn’t get a date.
  86. Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you’ll go places
  87. Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? A: It was Valenswine’s Day.
  88. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  89. Q: What do you call a very small Valentine? A: A valentiny.
  90. Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? A: You can always count on me.
  91. Q: What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Vale nine’s Day? A: You mean a great dill to me.
  92. Q: Why did the man send his wife’s Valentine through twitter? A: Because she is his tweetheart.
  93. Q: What Valentine’s Day candy is only for girls? A: HER-SHE’s Kisses.
  94. Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? A: ChocoLATE
  95. Q: What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day? A: Mayflowers
  96. Q: What did one snake say to the other snake? A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
  97. Q: What did cavemen give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Lots of ughs and kisses.
  98. Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day? A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
  99. Q: What did one font say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re just my type.
  100. Q: What food is crazy about Valentine’s Day chocolates? A: A cocoa-nut.
  101. Q: What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert? A: Chocolate mousse
  102. Q: What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you a watt.
  103. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  104. Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts.
  105. Q: Why did the boy put clothes on the valentines card he was sending? A: He thought they needed to be ad-dressed.
  106. Q: What did the girl bumble bee say to the boy bumble bee on Valentine’s Day? A: I love bee-ing with you, Honey.
  107. Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring.
  108. Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m nuts about you.
  109. Q: Which animal shares the most love? A: A heartvaark
  110. Q: What did the sheep say to the other on February 14th? A: Wool you be my valentine.
  111. Q: Who did the man send a Valentine to through twitter? A: His tweetheart.
  112. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  113. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  114. Q: Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? A: To the meatball.
  115. Q: What did the seamstress say to express her love? A: You’re sew special to me.
  116. Q: What did the blueberry say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you berry much.
  117. Q: What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you’ll go places.
  118. Q: Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? A: Because they’re scent-imental.
  119. Q: Why did the Valentine get arrested? A: For stealing someone’s heart.
  120. Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow want to go to the Valentine’s Day dance? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  121. Q: Who wrote the best love songs in the 60’s? A: Heart Garfunkel
  122. Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
  123. Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
  124. Q: What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re purrr-fect for me.
  125. Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Somebunny loves you.
  126. Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow want to go to the Valentine’s Day dance? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  127. Q: What did the circle say to the triangle on Valentine’s Day? A: I think you’re acute.
  128. Q: Why did they put the boy’s girlfriend in jail? A: Because she stole his heart.
  129. Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Whale you be mine?
  130. Q. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A. I lava you.
  131. Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: A hug and a quiche.
  132. Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card? A: A card that says “I love you drool-ly”
  133. Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you beary much.
  134. Q: What did the painter say to his girlfriend? A: “I love you with all my art.”
  135. Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: I love ewe.
  136. Q: What does someone who loves their car do on February 14? A: They give it a valenshine.
  137. Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day? A: You are bee-utiful.
  138. Q: Why do Valentines have hearts on them? A: Because gall bladders would look pretty yucky.
  139. Q: What did the pencil say to the paper? A: I dot my i’s on you.
  140. Q: What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you baaaaaaack.
  141. Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? A: Owl be yours.
  142. Q: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re purr-fect for me.
  143. Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Lets hang out.
  144. Q: Did you hear about the man who promised his girlfriend a diamond for Valentine’s Day? A: He took her to a baseball park.
  145. Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you a ton.
  146. Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re not so baaaa-d.
  147. Q: What is the most romantic city in England? A: Loverpool.
  148. Q: Why is Valentine’s Day a great day for a party? A: Because you can party hearty.
  149. Q: What did the pickle say to his Valentine? A: You mean a great dill to me.
  150. Q: What happened when the two angels got married? A: They lived harpily ever after.
  151. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m stuck on you.
  152. Q: What’s the best part about Valentines Day? A: The next day when all the chocolate goes on sale.
  153. Q: What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: Rugs and kisses.
  154. Q: What is a ram’s favorite song on February 14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
  155. Q: What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine’s Day? A: Third degree burns on your lips.
  156. Q: What did the vampire call his sweetheart? A: His ghoul-friend.
  157. Q: What happened when the two tennis players met? A: It was lob at first sight.
  158. Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Be my Valenstein.
  159. Q: What did one piece of string say to the other on February 14th? A: “Be my valentwine.”
  160. Q: What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: By my valenslime
  161. Q: What did one calculator say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
  162. Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Lots of hogs and kisses.
  163. Q: What did one door bell say to the other on February 14th? A: “Be my valenchime.”
  164. Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A: “You’re fun to hang around with.”
  165. Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? A: Because it’s got heart.
  166. Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
  167. Q: What did the whipped cream say to the ice cream on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m sweet on you.
  168. Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? A: Cauliflowers.
  169. Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
  170. Q: Did you hear about the blind porcupine? A: He fell in love with a pin cushion.
  171. Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? A: My heart beats for you.
  172. Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? A: Because it couldn’t get a date.
  173. Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you’ll go places
  174. Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? A: It was Valenswine’s Day.

What is Reunion ?

Reunion is when Akhil gets up in the morning and tells his wife he is going to work.

Instead he goes to his neighbour Paul's wife to make love to her.

Her husband Paul comes and knocks on the door.

Akhil goes under the bed.

Paul enters the bedroom.

Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.

Paul takes advantage of the wife's absence to call Akhil's wife.

Akhil's wife quickly arrives and they make love.

Suddenly Paul's wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.

Akhil Is Still Under The Bed.

Akhil's wife rushes to hide under the bed.

This Is REUNION

Another translated joke

A homeless man is very hungry and looking for food. He knocked on a door and a woman opens it.
"Do you have any food?" He asks.
"Would you like yesterday's borsch?"
"Yes please".
"Then come again tomorrow"

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for some time.


They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it.
They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food.
The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers.
He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition.
They must have sex with her.
The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods.
The third guy is very hungry and agrees.
He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady.
The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded.
So she puts on a blindfold and bends over.
Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window.
The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing.
Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves.
As he is walking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys.
"Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"

What are the funniest knock knock food jokes of all time?

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Joko Jokes