Knock Knock English Jokes
7 knock knock english jokes and hilarious knock knock english puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock english that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comedy Knock Knock English Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What is a good knock knock english joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Kid failing English
A kid is failing English, and the teacher sends multiple notes home requesting to speak with his parents but doesn't get a response. One Saturday, the teacher decides to stop by the kid's house. When she knocks on the door, the kid answers.
Teacher: "Hi, Johnny, can I speak to your mother?"
Kid: "She ain't home."
Teacher (frustrated): "Well can I speak to your father?"
Kid: "He ain't home."
Teacher (more frustrated): "Young man, where's your grammar?"
Kid: "She's in the kitchen bakin' cookies"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Dutchman and an Englishmen meet in a beach bar on holiday.
The Dutchman speaks hardly any English and the Englishman, inevitably, even less Dutch, but they still enjoy each other's company and knock back a few beers together. After a while the Englishman manages to get across a question: "what is it that you do for a living?"
The Dutchman says carefully "I... *f**...\**... horses."
"Pardon?!" exclaims the Englishman.
"*Ja! Paarden!*" says the Dutchman, beaming widely.
\----
\* \['breed'\]
I want to see if this joke translates from English
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two s**... guys...
Two s**... guys were riding a car when a policeman stopped them. The driver told his friend keep quiet, you will get us in trouble if you speak, I'll do the talking ! The policeman knocked lightly on the window motioning to them to role it down and said good evening gentlemen the driver exclaimed which w**... you are talking about ?!
Edit : English is not my first language so be kind please.
Edit 2: changed smarter to driver.
Road Kill
Driving along An English country road one night and what appeared to be A massive rabbit jumped out in front of the car and bang, I knocked it flying. I stopped the car and went to investigate what I'd hit. The animal was dead so i moved it to the side of the road. Another car pulled up and this guy got out and looked at the road kill then went back to his car and returned with an aerosol can. He sprayed the dead animal and suddenly it jumped up ran a couple of yards turned around and waved, ran some more and turned around and waved again then disappeared into the night. That's amazing I said. What's in the can ? It's hare restorer with A permanent wave he replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is stuck in a traffic jam
A man is struck in a traffic jam
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians, and they are asking for a 1 million crore rupees ransom.
Otherwise, they are gong to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, and collection donations.
How much is everyone giving, an on average? the driver asks....
The man replied, "Roughly 2 liters"
*Edit 1 : I apologise for any grammatical errors. English is not my 1st language.
*Edit 2 : Wow! Thanks for the upvotes guys! I really appreciate it. Also this is my most upvoted post ever.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
USSR jokes about America
My dad told me this one was a classic when he lived in the former Soviet Union:
So as you know, Russia and America would send spies against each other frequently. All American spies were mandated to learn Russian and all Russians English.
Well so, the American spy gets dropped off in the middle of Siberia. Freezing, he goes to the nearest house and knocks.
When the owner gets to the door, the spy says, "May I please have some shelter and food?"
The owner of the house replies, "..........YOU MUST BE SPY!"
The spy immediately is baffled and attempts to cover up, "What are you talking about?!"
"No black man speaks Russian!"
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