JokoJokes

Knock Knock English Jokes

7 knock knock english jokes and hilarious knock knock english puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock english that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Share These Knock Knock English Jokes With Friends




Comedy Knock Knock English Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What is a good knock knock english joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Kid failing English

A kid is failing English, and the teacher sends multiple notes home requesting to speak with his parents but doesn't get a response. One Saturday, the teacher decides to stop by the kid's house. When she knocks on the door, the kid answers.
Teacher: "Hi, Johnny, can I speak to your mother?"
Kid: "She ain't home."
Teacher (frustrated): "Well can I speak to your father?"
Kid: "He ain't home."
Teacher (more frustrated): "Young man, where's your grammar?"
Kid: "She's in the kitchen bakin' cookies"

A horse walks into a bar

The bartender asks what's with the long face, the horse doesn't say anything because it's a horse, it doesn't understand English and it looks confused. It walks out the bar knocking over a few tables.

A Dutchman and an Englishmen meet in a beach bar on holiday.

The Dutchman speaks hardly any English and the Englishman, inevitably, even less Dutch, but they still enjoy each other's company and knock back a few beers together. After a while the Englishman manages to get across a question: "what is it that you do for a living?"
The Dutchman says carefully "I... *f**...\**... horses."
"Pardon?!" exclaims the Englishman.
"*Ja! Paarden!*" says the Dutchman, beaming widely.
\----
\* \['breed'\]

I want to see if this joke translates from English

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Two s**... guys...

Two s**... guys were riding a car when a policeman stopped them. The driver told his friend keep quiet, you will get us in trouble if you speak, I'll do the talking ! The policeman knocked lightly on the window motioning to them to role it down and said good evening gentlemen the driver exclaimed which w**... you are talking about ?!
Edit : English is not my first language so be kind please.
Edit 2: changed smarter to driver.

Road Kill

Driving along An English country road one night and what appeared to be A massive rabbit jumped out in front of the car and bang, I knocked it flying. I stopped the car and went to investigate what I'd hit. The animal was dead so i moved it to the side of the road. Another car pulled up and this guy got out and looked at the road kill then went back to his car and returned with an aerosol can. He sprayed the dead animal and suddenly it jumped up ran a couple of yards turned around and waved, ran some more and turned around and waved again then disappeared into the night. That's amazing I said. What's in the can ? It's hare restorer with A permanent wave he replied.

A man is stuck in a traffic jam

A man is struck in a traffic jam
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. 
The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" 
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians, and they are asking for a 1 million crore rupees ransom. 
Otherwise, they are gong to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. 
We are going from car to car, and collection donations. 
How much is everyone giving, an on average? the driver asks.... 
The man replied, "Roughly 2 liters"
*Edit 1 : I apologise for any grammatical errors. English is not my 1st language.
*Edit 2 : Wow! Thanks for the upvotes guys! I really appreciate it. Also this is my most upvoted post ever.

Share These Knock Knock English Jokes With Friends