Knock Knock Dog Jokes

26 knock knock dog jokes and hilarious knock knock dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knock Knock Dog Short Jokes

Short knock knock dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock knock dog humour may include short dog knock knock jokes also.

  1. Two dogs are sitting in a bar. The first says, "wanna hear a joke?" The second dog says "sure!" The first dog says "knock knock." The second says... WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
  2. Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
  3. Q: If your dog was barking on the front door and your wife knocking on the back door, who should you let in first? A: The dog, because at least it would shut up once it got in.
  4. A cop knocked on my door A cop knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
    My dogs don't even own bikes…
  5. A police officer just knocked on my door... and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot.
  6. My dog: daddy, I'm bored, tell me a joke … Me: ok, here goes, knock knock…
  7. Two dogs are laying in their front room First dog says to the second dog: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
    Second dog: Yeah, go on then.
    First dog: Knock, knock.
    Second dog: Woof, woof, woof, woof!
  8. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes...
  9. Tables turned We got a new dog. We named him Jesus, and he gets loose often. Occasionally I'll knock on my m**... neighbors door just to ask if _they've_ found Jesus.

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Knock Knock Dog One Liners

Which knock knock dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knock knock dog? I can suggest the ones about knock knock cat and knock knock animal.

  1. My dog has no sense of humor Every time I say knock knock he just starts barking.

Rib-Tickling Knock Knock Dog Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about knock knock dog you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knock knock kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock knock dog pranks.

So a cop knocked on my door this morning.

He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'
I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'

A dog is talking to his owner. Dog: Tell me a joke

Dog: Tell me a joke
Man: Don't be silly, you're a dog
Dog: Oh, go on
Man: You're a dog, you won't understand
Dog: Do it anyway, pleeeeese
Man: OK. Knock Knock
Dog: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof……….

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

A blonde woman dyes her hair red....

A blonde woman dyes her hair red because she's tired of the blonde jokes. One day she stops by a farm and asks the farmer, "If I can count how many sheep you have, can I keep one?" The farmer reluctantly agrees. After some counting, the blonde woman says, "there is 124 sheep in your farm." Shocked, the farmer counts them. Sure enough, there are 124 sheep. The woman picks one up and takes it to her car. Right when she's about to leave, the farmer knocks on her window and asks,"Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Vacuum cleaner salesman

a Vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door.
Before I spoke he tipped a bucket of dog s**... over my carpet and said:
"If this vacuum doesn't remove every trace of it, I'll personally eat what's left."
I replied:
"I hope you're hungry because they cut off my electric this morning"

A vacuum salesman knocked on my door this morning

When I opened my door, before I could even talk to him, he dumped a bucket of dog s**... on my carpet
He then said if this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean your carpet within 2 minutes, I will personally eat whatever's left of the s**...
To which I replied well you better be hungry because my electricity has been cut off since 5am

3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".
2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5 grand to fix".
3rd woman goes "When I got home I decided to take a bath and light some candles. I was so drunk, I passed out, knocked over the candles and ended up burning down my whole house".
1st woman exclaims "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"

My neighbor. She's single. She's shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street.

I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.
I opened the door, she looked at me and said, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?
I quickly replied, Nope, I'm free!
Great she said. Can you watch my dog?

A blind man walks into a convenient store with his seeing-eye dog

And he's walking around when all of the sudden, he picks his dog up by the leash and starts swinging it around, knocking everything over.
The cashier runs over and starts yelling
"Sir! Sir! What the h**... are you doing!?"
The blind guy puts his dog down and says
"Oh, I'm just looking around."

The police knocked on my door the other night...

...and informed me that they were there to take my dog away. Apparently there had been complaints that he was chasing down and barking at my neighbors' son on his bike.
I happen to know, however, that my dog doesn't ride a bike.

3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...

They met for brunch for the next day.
Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...
Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.
Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.
It went silent for a minute.
Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.

A guy walks into a bar...

…And says to the bartender, *knock-knock*!
The bartender says, What, is that some kind of joke?
The guy replies, Take my wife, please!
The bartender yells, I've had it!
He storms out from behind the bar and kicks the duck and talking dog.
The blonde looks up in surprise and hides behind the priest.
The bartender grabs the rabbi instead and throws him out, hitting the blind guy heading in.
The bartender hops on the horse and rides off.
A time traveler walks into a bar.

She's single... lives right across the street and I can see her place from my kitchen window! I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door!

I opened the door, she looked at me and said: I just got home, and I have this strong urge to go dancing and drinking, and maybe fool around a know, have some fun. Are you doing anything tonight?"  I quickly replied: "Nope, I'm free!" - "Great!" She said.   Can you look after my dog ?"   
Being a senior citizen, really s**...!!

Bear Remover

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his t**... and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

Joe wakes up to a noise on the roof... he goes outside and sees that a bear has climbed up on top of his house. Joe runs inside and calls the first pest control number he sees in the phone book. The man on the other end says that he can remove the bear no problem and will be there shortly. 30 minutes later the man pulls up in a truck. Joe watches the man unload a big cage, a ladder, a shovel, a shotgun, and the biggest German Shepard Joe has ever seen. He asks the man what his plan is to get the bear off the roof. The man says that he will climb up the ladder and using the shovel will scare the bear off the roof. When the bear hits the ground the dog will grab it by the nuts and drag him into the cage. Joe says "that sounds like quite the plan but what is the gun for". The man says "if the bear knocks me off the roof then shoot the f!@#ing dog"