Knock Knock Doctor Jokes

25 knock knock doctor jokes and hilarious knock knock doctor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock knock doctor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knock Knock Doctor Short Jokes

Short knock knock doctor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock knock doctor humour may include short doctor knock knock jokes also.

  1. A skeleton knocks on a doctor's door It's 2am, and when the doctor opens the door, still in his pajamas, he takes one look at the skeleton and says:
    It's a bit too late for that, don't you think?
  2. Knock knock Who's there?
    Doctor who?
    (In david tennents accent) Actually just "the doctor" is fine.
  3. Doctor: I have some bad news Me: lay it on me gently
    Doctor: knock knock
    Me: who's there?
    Doctor: h**...
  4. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the p**... off the smart ones.
  5. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
    To knock the p**... off the smart ones.

Share These Knock Knock Doctor Jokes With Friends

Knock Knock Doctor One Liners

Which knock knock doctor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knock knock doctor? I can suggest the ones about doctor who knock knock and knock knock kid.

  1. Knock, knock. Who's there?
    Interrupting doctor.
    Interrupting doc…
    You have cancer.
  2. Knock knock Knock knock
    Who's there
    Doctor who?

Laughter Knock Knock Doctor Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about knock knock doctor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean get well knock knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock knock doctor pranks.

A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...

When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.
Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"
New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"
Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."
New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"
Doctor: "Denephew."

A woman collapsed on the street

Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.
"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.
A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.
"I'm a vegan!" The man said.

My wife suggested to spice things up with roleplaying.

I asked her what she had in mind.
Doctor and patient roleplaying she said. I'll be the doctor.
Sounds good to me! I said.
So she went to the bedroom and I waited in the hall.
I knocked on the door and hear her say: Do you have an appointment?
Well, no...
Then please wait in the waiting room
She was building up tension.
I hope my neighbor is okay tho, he had the 1 pm appointment and has been in there for hours now.

My wife gave birth today, after she was stable and sleeping I thanked the Doctor, then sheepishly asked 'When we will be able to have s**...?'

He winked at me and said 'I knock off in 10 minutes, meet me in the car park'

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.

My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish Inn Physician


So a man is out late at night, walking to his doctors office. He gets there and knocks on the door. The doctor comes out and asks the man why he came so late. The man responds by saying:
''Doc, i'm sorry to be bothering you at such a late hour, but I think that I may be turning into a moth!"
"A moth! You don't need to see me, you need to see a psychiatrist!" says the doctor
"Well, I was on my way, but I noticed that your light was on!"

The conscript receives a summons to the army

He is afraid, so he says to his friend:
\- Knock out all my teeth, then they won't take me into the army!
A friend knocks out his teeth, as he asks.
The next day they meet again.
A friend asks him:
\- How are you?
The conscript replies, lisping terribly:
\- Everything is great! They didn't take me, the doctor said I have flat feet!

A man got a sore t**... and goes to a doctor's house

He knocks on the door and the doctor's wife opens the door "is the doctor home?" He asks whispering because of his t**.... The wife looks outside, sees no one and whispers "No, he's not. Come in".

I heard a knock at my door yesterday morning

I opened the door and got punched in the face by a giant cockroach
I went and told my doctor and he said
ah yes I've heard there's a n**... bug going round

Tell a joke that is well-known in your country

Even jokes that are poorly translated are normally funny because they're so bad.
An example of a well-known British joke is:
'Knock knock'.
'Who's there?'
'Doctor Who?'
'You just said it'.
It has to be one that if you asked 100 random people in your country most would know it.

An accountant goes to the doctor...

An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.
30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."
The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:
>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."

A farmer passing by his neighbours barn saw a strange sight inside

The farmer peered inside the barn door and there was his neighbour dancing around and taking off his clothes in front of an old John Deere. He knocks on the barn door, walks in and asks him why he's stripping and dancing in his barn. The neighbour says that him and his wife have been having trouble in the bedroom lately and that he has been going to the doctor to seek help. Still puzzled the farmer asks how this will help to which his neighbour replied Well, after the Doctor and I had a good chat he seemed to think I need to do a better job of getting her in the mood so he suggested I start with doing something s**..., to a tractor.

A man notices a pig with a wooden leg

He calls out to the farmer and asks,"why's the pig got a wooden leg?"
The farmer replies, "it's amazing that pig, once I fell in the pond and was drowning. The pig came trotting along, jumped in and pulled me out."
"Wow, that is amazing." said the man.
"and another time I fell asleep on the sofa. Dropped my cigarette and set the whole farmhouse on fire. The pig knocked down the front door, crawled through the smoke and pulled me out into the farmyard."
"That's absolutely extraordinary." exclaimed the man.
"And, a couple of months ago I had a heart attack whilst driving the tractor. The pig trotted alongside, jumped up and grabbed the wheel in his snout, steered it safely to a halt, then ran 12 miles to get me a doctor."
"That is truly amazing. Unbelievable." Said the man, "but what's with the wooden leg?"
"Ah", said the farmer, "you don't eat a pig like that all at once."

Mrs. Barber, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there's no doubt about it: you're pregnant.

Carla was well into her sixties when she went to her doctor complaining of nausea, exhaustion, and occasional cramps. After a thorough examination the doctor sent her to the hospital for a battery of tests, and finally confronted her with the results. Mrs. Barber, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there's no doubt about it: you're pregnant.
Impossible, she cried, and fainted dead away. When she came to, she staggered to the phone, dialed her seventy-eight-year-old husband, and screeched, You've knocked me up, you r**... old goat!
There was a long pause at the other end of the line. Then a voice said, And to whom am I speaking?

Two onions, male and female, knock into each other on the street...

...An affair begins. Onion romance has occurred.
They tie the knot; several months later they have a baby onion.
Father onion takes another shift to make ends meet.
Mother onion is encumbered with house work one day, much distracted.
Baby onion wanders out the open door unsupervised. It crosses the sidewalk and is hit by a car.
At the hospital mother and father onion pace up and down the hospital corridor, crying.
A team of surgeons try all night to save baby onion's life.
Towards dawn the doors to the hospital room open. A doctor walks out, sweating.
Father onion asks "well, what, how is baby onion?"
The surgeon says "well he'll live, but I'm afraid he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."