Knock Joke Jokes
110 knock joke jokes and hilarious knock joke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock joke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Knock Joke Short Jokes
Short knock joke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock joke humour may include short jokes also.
- Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
- daughter made up a cute knock knock joke: Knock knock
Who's there?
Let's eat…
Let's eat who?
What are you a cannibal? - Cargo Owl Joke Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. owl go who. Car go beep beep.
- Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally. - Two dogs are sitting in a bar. The first says, "wanna hear a joke?" The second dog says "sure!" The first dog says "knock knock." The second says... WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
- My six year old's current favorite joke: Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: Interrupting pirate.
Me: Interrupting pira...
Him: Arrrrrrgggh!!! - A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow.. Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
You said you'd never forget. - Knock Knock Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid shadow Legends - Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the dummies house.
Knock knock... Who's there?
A chicken.
My 6 year old nephew's favorite joke. Tells it every chance he gets. - Dad: Got a good joke for you, it's a knock knock joke Me: OK...
Dad: you have to start...
Me: OK, Knock knock
Dad: Who's there.....
Me: ಠ_ಠ .... Well I don't know, IT'S YOUR JOKE!
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Knock Joke One Liners
Which knock joke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knock joke? I can suggest the ones about and .
- A joke for introverts Knock knock!
- Let me tell you my favorite knock knock joke! You start
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize.
- The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
- The creator of the very first knock knock joke.. Must have won a no-bell prize
- What did the person who invented knock-knock jokes win? A no-bell prize!
- Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
- Why doesn't the Grinch like knock knock jokes? Because there's always Whos there!
- Did you hear about the inventor of the knock-knock joke? He won the no bell prize.
- Did you hear about the guy who made up the knock knock joke? He won a "no bell" prize
- Did you hear about the guy who wrote the first knock knock joke? He won the Nobel prize
- the person who invented knock knock jokes ... deserves a Nobel prize
- Whoever invented the knock-knock joke Got the "no bell" prize
- Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America? 'cause Freedom rings
- I've got a great knock knock joke. You start.
Knock Joke Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about knock joke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock joke pranks.
My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)
Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability to focus making me quiet but don't actually say it)
Try this on someone
say to them "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"
most likely their response will be "Okay, knock knock"
you then say "Who's there?"
They will usually be terribly confused and a hilarious awkward silence ensues
"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"
"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.
This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12
Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.
The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.
They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.
The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".
The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.
"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.
"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"
A woman staying in a hotel was taking a shower after a long days work when she heard a knock on her door.
She went to the door, looked through the door-hole and saw it was her friend Steve. She wrapped a towel around her and opened the door.
"I finally got my racing licence!" exclaimed Steve.
"Good for you." the woman said, and closed the door, left the towel by the door and got back in the shower. A second knock came, and she saw it was John, another friend of hers. Again she wrapped the towel around her and opened the door.
"I won the lottery!" John said, and the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. for the third time, a knock on the door came. she looked through the peephole and saw it was Tom, her blind friend. she didn't bother putting on a towel.
"What is it Tom?! This is the third time I have been interrupted while showering!"
Tom gleefully replied:
"I can see!"
A funny joke indeed
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**...."
My Favorite Latvian Joke
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man,
is secret police.
Latvian Joke
Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.
B'dum tsss
A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?
My 3 year old told me a joke on our way home from pre-school.
From her car seat yells up to me, "Knock knock, Daddy!"
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!!
My niece told me this one, she technically messed up the joke, but I thought it was a hilarious and unexpected take on the original
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana you glad I didn't say orange?"
A joke I am stealing from a little girl
Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.
Me: ???
Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: It's the chicken!
Jokes told by my tour guide while rafting.
* Why doesn't anyone tell knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
* What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
* What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
* What do you call a cow with 1 leg?
A steak.
Two horrible knock knock jokes.
Knock knock.
> Who's there?
Door inspector.
> Door inspector who?
Knock knock.
-----
Knock knock.
> Who's there?
Doorbell inspector.
> Doorbell inspector who?
Your doorbell's broken.
How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke
A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.
How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?
A brick falls from the sky and kills her.
Knock knock Who's there?
Not Mary
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
I've got a good joke to use on your friends (works better face to face)
You: I've got a knock knock joke, but you have to start.
Friend: Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
*confusion and bewilderment ensues*
It's funny to see how long it takes them to work out what happened.
A blonde woman dyes her hair red....
A blonde woman dyes her hair red because she's tired of the blonde jokes. One day she stops by a farm and asks the farmer, "If I can count how many sheep you have, can I keep one?" The farmer reluctantly agrees. After some counting, the blonde woman says, "there is 124 sheep in your farm." Shocked, the farmer counts them. Sure enough, there are 124 sheep. The woman picks one up and takes it to her car. Right when she's about to leave, the farmer knocks on her window and asks,"Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Omegle joke
Guy 1: Hey!
Guy 2: Hey.
Guy 1: I'm pretty sad, can you give me a joke?
Guy 2: Sure! Knock Knock.
Guy 1: Who's there?
Guy 2: Disco.
Guy 1: Disco who?
Guy 2: Disconnected.
'Your conversational partner has been disconnected.'
Guy 1: ...
Do you know any jokes?
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.
He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."
A chicken joke
Son: Dad, why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know. Why?
Son: To get to the ugly man's house.
Me: Hmm...
Son: Knock! Knock!
Me: Who's there?
Son: The Chicken!
Me: You're no son of mine.
I had a tough conversation with my parents
Dad: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Dad: water
Me: water who?
Dad: water you even doing with your life? I ask you this in the form of a joke because it seems this best relates to the course of your life thus far.
My Daughter told me this adorkable meta joke today (she's 5).
Her: Daddy, knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Her: Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out, Who's left?
Me: (sigh) Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out, who's left, who?
Her: Repeat.
Did you hear about the french woman that invented the knock knock joke?
She won the No Belle prize
Why don't Americans tell knock knock jokes?
Because freedom always rings
A traveling salesman knocked on the door of a farmhouse..
And since it was getting late, he asked the farmer if he could sleep in the barn that night. The farmer said, "That would be fine, but you have to promise to leave my son alone." And the salesman said, Oh no! I'm in the wrong joke!"
A dog is talking to his owner. Dog: Tell me a joke
Dog: Tell me a joke
Man: Don't be silly, you're a dog
Dog: Oh, go on
Man: You're a dog, you won't understand
Dog: Do it anyway, pleeeeese
Man: OK. Knock Knock
Dog: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof……….
An 11 year old boy just told me his anti-vaxx joke
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Unvaccinated kid!
Unvaccinated kid who?
Oh never mind, it's an open casket f**....
(A joke my 3 y/o nephew came up with)
Kiddo: knock knock
Mom: who's there?
Kid: Daddy. Because I locked the door. *laughs hysterically*
Wolf down this joke fellows
-Knock knock
"Who's there"
-"Howl"
"Howl who ?"
-"Howl you know unless you open the door ?"
My favorite Knock knock joke
Who's there
I fling mop
I fling mop who?
You dirty little monkey!
chicken b**... joke
Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow who?
...chicken b**...!
My daughters joke
Her knock knock .
Me who's there .
Her no dad you say knock knock .
Me ok knock knock .
Her who's there .
Me looking confused and already starting to smile. Errrr I don't know, who is there? .
Her I don't know then she laughed and ran away.
Edit for Missing fullstops.
My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?
Haha you said dinosaur p**....
An alternate version of a racist joke
A black man goes to a club and hits it off with an attractive white woman. Eventually they head back to her place and start u**.... As the woman is taking the man's pants off, she says "now... show me what you guys are really famous for".
So a police offer knocks down the door and shoots him.
A knock knock joke...
*Knock knock.*
Who's there?
*Goliath.*
Goliath who?
*Goliath down, you looketh tired!*
A man goes for an interview
The first question he faces - "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
Man - I have a good sense of humor, but my general knowledge is weak.
Interviewer - Okay tell me joke
Man - Knock Knock
Interviewer - Who's there?
Man - The first president of The United States of America
Interviewer - The first president of The United States of America who?
Man - That I don't know
My dad always made me feel special because he made up knock knock jokes just for me, but I couldn't always understand them.
Last time I saw him he said:
> Knock knock
Who's there?
> You're a mountain
You're a mountain, who?
> You're a mountain to nothing, son!
My 5 yo son, Samuel, came up with this knock knock joke at his birthday and we were all in tears..
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Sam"
"Sam who?"
"Samwhere over the rainbow..."
A short joke.
If a former 80's Russian comedian went out and bought some off-brand v**.... Would that be Yakov Smirnoff buying knock-off Smirnoff?
In memorial of Sean Connery: My favorite knock knock joke. (Say out loud for best effect)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dish
Dish Who?
(Said in Sean Connery accent) DISH IS SEAN CONNERY LET ME IN!
Dave knows everyone joke
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the f**... is that on the balcony with Dave?’
My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered
3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!
Me: Who's there?
3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!
Me: Fork who?
*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*
3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)
(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.
My joke from my son
Joke from my son:
Son: knock knock
Me: whose there?
Son: dishes
Me: dishes who?
Son: dishes a very bad joke.
Candice joke
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke get any funnier?
My son made up this joke. Knock knock
-Who's there?
-Alexa
-Alexa who?
-Sorry I don't know that one. You can always leave feedback on the Alexa app.
A joke for Australians
The Garbo's doing his rounds and he gets his mate,the b**...'s place and the bin ain't out the front. So the Garbo knocks on the door. "G'Day, b**.... Long time no see. Where's ya bin?" Asks the Garbo. "I bin on holidays." Says the b**.... "Nah mate, where's ya bin?" Repeats the Garbo. "I just said," responds the b**..., "I bin on holidays." "No no. Where's ya wheelie bin?" Clarifies the Garbo. The b**... responds, "Well I wheelie bin in jail but I tell people I was on holidays."
The best Knock Knock joke
Me- "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Dad- "Why"
Me- "To get to the idiots house BAHAHA"
Dad- "That's s**..."
Me- "Fine this one is better, Knock Knock"
Dad- "Who's there"
Me- "The chicken :)"
What are the most popular jokes during the pandemic?
Inside jokes.
You know what the least popular are?
Knock Knock jokes.
My 5 year old made up a joke that I can't stop laughing at.
This joke came from my 5 year old, we have been saying knock knock jokes back and forth and he tells me his jokes that don't make sense. Today he told me this one and I don't think he realizes how funny it is. Here it is in his original wording.
*Knock knock*
Who's there?
Nobody. The man didn't answer because he is dead because he had too many birthdays.
Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?
She loves this one:
A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".
For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...
*Knock-knock*
~ Who's there?
~ You know
~ you know who?
*avada kedavra!*
Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.
Knock knock
-Knock knock
-Who's there?
-Grandpa!
-Oh s**..., stop the f**...!
(Gary Delaney joke)
My 4 year old nieces jokes:
Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea w**....
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.
Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear me!
The best knock knock joke EVER
Knock knock.
Who's there?
p**.... .
p**... who?
Ha ha ! you said p**... p**...!
My daughter made that up.
I am so proud!
My 10 y/o son told me this.
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To find the idiot.
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: The chicken...
I saw it coming with the knock knock joke but it made me laugh.
RIP Barry Cryer - a true comedy great
From his obituary:
> Cryer, the master of the comedy sketch and the instant one-liner, was once asked by the Yorkshire Post for his favourite joke. He recalled one he had told in a student r**... in 1955.
>"A man drives down a country lane and runs over a cockerel. He knocks at a nearby farmhouse door and a woman answers.
>"'I appear to have killed your cockerel,' he says. 'I'd like to replace it.' The woman replies: 'Please yourself - the hens are round the back.'"
I saw this one reposted here earlier this week..
I once knew a Jehovah's Witness who became a stand-up comedian.
But all he knew was knock knock jokes.
My 2yo daughter just told her first joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Daddy.
Daddy who?
Daddy's there.
The closing needs some work, but it was a pretty impressive attempt! Just a proud dad over here :,-)
A Knock knock joke as told by my 4year old
Him: Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Him trying not to laugh at his own joke:Tacos!
Me: Tacos who?
Him with glee: No silly tacos don't go who they go crunch crunch!
The Kid's going places I tell ya.
Politically charged joke. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Putin.
Putin who?
Putin a doorbell I'm tired of knocking.