JokoJokes

Knock I Love You Jokes

31 knock i love you jokes and hilarious knock i love you puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knock i love you that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knock I Love You Short Jokes

Short knock i love you jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knock i love you humour may include short knock knock i love you jokes also.

  1. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
    I love supporting the community.
  2. Where do jokes come from? Well, when a dad joke and a yo mama joke love each other, they do a knock-knock joke…
  3. After the quarantine is going to be like Knock knock
    Who's there?
    People
    People who?
    People who love and miss you!
  4. I came up with this joke and told my girlfriend. She Couldn't stop smiling. Person 1: Knock Knock?
    Person 2: Who's There?
    Person 1: I love Yoot
    Person 2: I love Yoot Who...

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Knock I Love You One Liners

Which knock i love you one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knock i love you? I can suggest the ones about knock knock love you and i love you knock knock.

  1. Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Kenya.
    Kenya who?
    Keeeenya feeel the loooove tonight?

Hilarious Knock I Love You Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about knock i love you you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knock knock love jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knock i love you pranks.

A police officer knocked on my door last night.

He held up a picture and said to me, "Is this your wife?"
"Yes, that's her", I replied to him.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this" the officer said, "but it looks like she's been in a car c**...".
"I know" I replied, but she has a lovely personality".

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**.... Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...

Blonde genies

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it.
Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux k**... outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.
As the k**... are walking away, they remove their hoods.
It's the two blonde genies!
One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

The wedding night

A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"

Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?

She loves this one:
A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".

Zorro went up to his lover and left his horse

Under the window so he could jump right on, in case her husband returned.
So he is making love and suddenly hears knock on the door. He quickly grabs his clothes and jumps thought the window.
Woman opens the door and there is Zorro's horse and he goes:
"hey, tell him that it's raining outside and I will be waiting in the hall"

A beautiful blonde babe gets out of the shower

when she hears a knock at the door
It's the blind man!! Says the voice
She thinks to herself, it's ok if I open the door, he's blind so he won't be able to see me, as she opens the door
The man walks in and says
You have a lovely pair of t**..., now where do you want the blinds ?

5 Minutes !

The police just knocked on my door and asked Where were you around 8.05pm last night sir?"
"Funny you should ask," I replied. "I took the wife upstairs at 8pm to make love."
"Yes officer, that's true," my wife shouted over, "But god knows where he was at five past."

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.


"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD d**... open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

Child to Parent - If you didn't see me for 10 mins would you remember me? Parent - Of course! Child - How about 10 hours, days, weeks, months, years? Parent - I will love and remember you for ever!

Child - Knock knock
Parent - Who's there?
Child - You've forgotten me already!

I knocked on my lovely neighbor's door earlier and said "would you mind having my children...I'll only be a few minutes?"

"Yes of course,no problem" she replied.
"Great......get your p**... off then."

My six year old son told me a joke at dinner tonight and I absolutely loved it.

Son: "Knock, knock"
Me: "Who's there?"
Son: "A chicken"
Me: " "A chicken who?"
Son *interrupting*: "Pew pew pew pew pew!"
Me: .................?
Him: "Get it?! Like it's shooting eggs at you!"

The colonel rides again...

There was a knock on the door and the colonel opened it to see a young woman standing there. I don't know if you remember me colonel ... . Course I do gel, you're from the village, Jenkins' daughter, went off to university, well done, what can I do for you ? Well, I'm in my last year now, studying psychology you know, and I'm doing a paper on s**... in pensioners and I wondered if I could ask you some personal questions ? Course you can gel, nothing shocks me, old army type and all, ask away . Excellent, may I ask you when you last made love ? Mmmmm .. that would be 1945 . Oh colonel you have shocked ME, such a long time ago ! Don't see why gel, it's only 2100 now !

The pope and his driver

.....are in their car driving down the interstate and the pope says "you know, it's so boring being the pope, I haven't even driven a car for decades. Say, why don't you let me drive for a bit?" The driver agrees and sits at the back and off they go. The pope loves it and speeds up, until he's flying past other cars at 150mph. A cop soon pulls them over and walks up to the window and knocks. He walks back to his squad car and calls his chief.
"Hey chief, I've pulled this guy over and he's REALLY important! You have to come down."
Chief: who is it, the governor?
Cop: no, way higher!
Chief: come on son, who is it, the president?
Cop: I don't know it is, but his driver is the pope!!

A man was walking one day

When he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood.
Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.
He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.
"This is a brothel", replied the madam.
"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.
"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

What is Reunion ?

Reunion is when Akhil gets up in the morning and tells his wife he is going to work.
Instead he goes to his neighbour Paul's wife to make love to her.
Her husband Paul comes and knocks on the door.
Akhil goes under the bed.
Paul enters the bedroom.
Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.
Paul takes advantage of the wife's absence to call Akhil's wife.
Akhil's wife quickly arrives and they make love.
Suddenly Paul's wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.
Akhil Is Still Under The Bed.
Akhil's wife rushes to hide under the bed.
This Is REUNION

Reunion

*What is Reunion?*
Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.
Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.
Her husband comes and knocks on the door.
You go under the bed.
The husband enters the bedroom.
Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.
The husband takes advantage of the wife's absence to call your wife.
Your wife quickly arrives and they make love.
Suddenly his wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.
You're still under the bed.
Your wife rushes to hide under the bed.
*This is REUNION*

God loves drunks too

A man is woken up at 3am to the sound of loud knocking at his door. He opens the door and finds a completely soaked man standing in the rain.
"Please help give me a push?" he asks with a drunken slur.
"No," replies the man and slams the door in his face.
"Who was that?" asks his wife as he climbs into bed.
"Some drunk guy asking for a push."
"Don't you remember 2 months ago when we needed a push? God loves drunks too. You should help him out."
The man sighs, gets dressed and walks into the pouring rain. "Hello? Are you still there?"
"Yes!"
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes, please!"
"Where are you? I can't see you in the dark."
"I'm over here, on the swing."

A guy moves way way out to the country...

...miles from anything. One day there's a knock at the door, and he opens it to find a guy in full hayseed regalia, overalls, thermal shirt, the works.
Hick: "Howdy, new neighbor! Would ya like to come to a party at my place tonight?"
New guy: "Well, sure! I'm new to these parts, I sure would love to meet the locals."
Hick: "I gotta warn ya, there'll be some drinkin'."
New guy: "That's OK, I could use a drink."
Hick: "There'll be some salty language."
New guy: "That won't bother me."
Hick: "...and some rough s**...."
New guy: "Hey, I'm in! How about if I bring a case of wine?"
Hick: "Nah, a bottle should do: it's just you and me."

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to a recently married couple's house...

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch completely n**....
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says " What's for dinner?"

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to the recently married couple's house.

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**....
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her n**... on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"

Barak Obama was touring the countryside...

... in his chauffeur-driven limo.
Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, and they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, you were driving.'
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Obama.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
'My god, what happened to you?' asks Obama.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey,
the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me.'
'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Obama.
'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them,
I'm Barack Obama's chauffeur and I've just killed the j**....

The Farmer's Daughters

Farmer Brown had 3 lovely daughters. The daughters announce to their father they are going out on dates that night. Farmer Brown agrees under the condition that he gets to talk to each of the young men first.
The first young man knocks on the door and Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says, "What is your business young man?" to which the young man replies, "My name is Eddie, I'm her for Betty, we're going to have spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer decides Eddie is OK, gives his consent, and Betty and Eddie take off.
The next young man knocks on the door. Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says "What do you want?" and the young man says, "My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she set to go?" The farmer looks him over carefully, decides he's OK and off run Joe and Flo.
Finally the last young suitor knocks on the door. Farmer Brown growls, "What do you want?" to which he replies, "My name is Chuck..." and Farmer Brown shoots him

A driver was stuck in Washington D.C. in the worst traffic jam he had ever seen...

Cars were stretched out for miles ahead of him. As he was sitting there, a young fellow approached his car and knocked on the window. "What's the holdup?", the driver asked. "Well," answered the young fellow, "It seems that a t**... group is holding the entire U.S. Congress hostage up ahead a few miles. They claim they're going to douse the whole bunch of them with gasoline and start them on fire unless they get $50 million. I'm just going car to car to try and get some donations." "I'd love to help." said the driver. "How much is everyone else giving?" "About a gallon each."

Roger and Jenny on their wedding night . . .

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I've been here already tonight?'