Knit Jokes
56 knit jokes and hilarious knit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Knit Short Jokes
Short knit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knit humour may include short sweater jokes also.
- A policeman spotted an elderly lady driving while knitting. "Pullover!" he screamed.
"No, it's a scarf!" she yelled back. - What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas? Gee, you knit?
- A police officer spotted an elderly lady knitting whilst driving "Pullover", he exclaimed.
"No, it's a scarf", she replied. - A police man spots a blond driving a car and knitting at the same time. He gets her to roll down her window.
Pull over he yells. No silly she replies it's a scarf ! - What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day? G u knit?
- My wife started a program to support whistle blowers by knitting them sweaters. She calls the program Snitches get Stitches
- What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters.
- Did you hear about the nun who got addicted to knitting? She said that needles were habit forming.
- My Grandma Discovered an online knitting forum She was upset the other day, apparently she used the *wrong thread* and the Mods banned her.
- A knitted afghan can be a good accent piece that can also keep you warm... That's just a blanket statement.
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Knit One Liners
Which knit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knit? I can suggest the ones about weaving and knead.
- I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread.
- What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of sock? Gee, you knit?
- What did eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
- What did the rapper, The Game, say when 50 cent gifted him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
- What's a pirates favorite thing to knit? Scaaaaaarrves
- What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she gave him a homemade scarf? "Gee, You Knit?"
- What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater? Gee, you knit?
- What did 50 cent say to his grandmother after she made him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
- I just perfected the art of turning yarn into alcohol! I knit you shot.
- What did 50 cent say to his grandma after she crocheted him a sweater? G! You knit!
- What do you call a knitting snake? A nanaconda.
- What does Dr. Dre say to 50 cent when he gives him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
- Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family... ... in another city!
- Did you here about the nun who took up knitting? She was making quite the habit of it.
- Learning to knit is really hard. The details are really nitty gritty.
Giggle-Inducing Knit Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about knit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sewing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knit pranks.
Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors.
Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors waiting room knitting. Mom 1 checks her watch and takes a pill "Vitamin C, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 2 takes a pill and says, "Vitamin A, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 3 takes a pill and says, "Thalidomide...I can't knit sleeves."
did you know it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater?
It's amazing. I didn't even know they could knit!
waaaaaaka waka.
50-cent's birthday was last week, so I made him a sweater...
...When i gave it to him he said, "Gee. You Knit?"
Corny Jokes
What kind of bees produce milk?
--Boobies
Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
-- fo drizzle
What's black and rhymes with snoop?
--Dr. Dre
Why don't you play poker in the jungle?
-- Too many cheetahs
What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she have him a sweater for Xmas??
-- Gh, Gh, Ghee, U Knit..
An old man found a box in his attic.
Inside were two knit bonnets and $250,000. He went to his wife and asked if she knew anything about it. She explained, "Every time I was mad at you, I'd knit a bonnet." The man was happy to find that, in 40 years of marriage, he'd only angered his wife twice. "OK, that explains the bonnets, but what about the money?" the old man asked. His wife smiled and said,"That's from selling all the bonnets I've made over the years."
Why did my grandmother knit a sweater for the pepper.
I mentioned it was a little chili.
What did 50cent say to his grandma when she gave him a knitted sweater for his birthday?
G u knit!
What did 50 cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting?
"Gee U Knit!"
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they knew how to knit.
So?
No, but I knit a little.
What did Lloyd Banks say to 50 Cent after he got him a sweater for Christmas?
Gee, u knit?
Three pregnant women are knitting in the Doctor's waiting room.
The first one pops a pill and says, *"Vitamin A, good for mommy, good for baby."*
The second one pops two pills and says, *"Vitamin C, good for mommy, good for baby."*
The third one pops three pills and says, *"Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves."*
A hat for kirk
My mum wanted to knit a hat for Captain Kirk of the USS enterprise, but it is quite tricky for someone who has three ears!
His left ear, his right ear and his final front-ear.
What did 50 cent say to Eminem...
After Eminem made him a sweater for Christmas?
Gee, you knit?
My grandma was not allowed to bring her knitting needles on the airplane.
They were worried she might knit an afghan.
I knitted a scarf after 4 days of blood sweat and tears out of floss only to find out it is just falling apart.
Sorry, wrong thread.
My grandmother loves to knit but she was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
She's holding out for some sort of cure. She has her fingers crossed.
Pirates love to knit. In fact...
They love to use *yarrrrn!*
What did the knitting pirate buy with his treasure?
YAAAAAARN
If you think of everything in life as a gift: every day is like Christmas. . .
With the relative learning how to knit.
My grandma made a sweater with glitter yarn
It was pretty knit
People who knit would be great farmers.
They'd know exactly how to sow the seeds.
Three expectant mothers
Are in the doctors waiting room knitting. The first takes a pill and the other two look over at her "iron so baby will be nice and healthy" she tells the other two. Not to be out done the second takes one too "calcium so baby grows up strong". The last also takes one "thalidomide, because I've not learnt how to knit arms yet"
The last batch of s**... b**... were very tight knit.
They used to sing together, dance together, laugh together. True brethren. At the end they had a blast doing their job.
Grandma said I she'd knit whatever I want if I pick the yarn...
So I bought her some steel wool and asked her to knit me a car
The cashmere sweater story
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Last night my wife crawled into bed with me and told me she'd do anything for a new cashmere sweater," the guy says. "So I asked, 'Anything?' nudge nudge wink wink, and she replied "ANYTHING!'" "Wow!" the bartender replies. "What did you do?" "I told her to learn how to knit."
