The Best 56 Knights Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Knights jokes. There are some knights merlin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these knights king puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Knights Jokes and Puns

Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with that?!"

"That's easy," said the second knight. " It's extra sharp."

A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England.

The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor.

I've just started work as a human chess piece.

The money's good, I'm on knights this week.

Knights joke, I've just started work as a human chess piece.

I just started a new job at a factory that makes chess pieces.

I'm on knights next week.

What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?


What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?

A Sir conference.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Knights joke, Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers.

After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay.

Why do Chinese knights have a low rate of survival?

They all have chinks in their armor.

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Jedi Knights love analogies.

"Metaphors be with you!"

You can explore knights swordsman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean knights armor dad jokes. There are also knights puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do Jedi Knights say to encourage the use of analogies?

"Metaphors be with you."

I once knew a woman that dated several knights at once


Why didn't the sun ever shine on the castle?

It was full of knights.

How many white knights does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't you worry your pretty, little head about it, the men will take care of it.

Leaving for the Crusades...

*Heard this a long time ago. Just found it again...*

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.

One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world.
It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am
leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."

The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.

A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend yelling, "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!"

Knights joke, Leaving for the Crusades...

A knights wife recieves a package from the blacksmith

The knight asks her: "Is this my new chest plate?"

She replies: "Sorry my dear, it's just a chain mail."

Where do Popes keep their knights between Crusades?

in the Deus Vault

Why are dragons gay?

All the hot knights they blow.

Why were the Middle Ages called the dark ages?

Knights for dayz

(My nearly 11 kid brother made this up, he's well on his way to being a dad ...)

Three Knights Walk Into A Bar

Three knights walk into a bar.
the first knight asks the bartender for a cup of ale.
the second knight asks the bartender for a mug of ale.
the bartender turns to the third knight and says, "don't tell me, you want a jug of ale?"
The third knight says, "None for me, I'm two knight's designated driver.

Why were the 'Dark Ages' so dark?

Because there were so many Knights.

Just delete me.

What do Golden Knights do after their games?

Take golden showers

I'm currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.

I'm calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.

Lancelot and Galahad walk into a Travelodge.

Lancelot says, "We'd like a room for two knights, please."

what do you call a meeting between the knights of the round table?

a sir conference

A King says to 3 of his most esteemed Knights

- Sir Brand! Kiss my hand.

- Sir Amit! Kiss my feet.

- Sir Hancock! Sir Hancock? Why are you running away from me?

What if a group of knights became Rastafarian?

They would be knights of the highest order!

What do you call a group of strange frogs carrying swords that are found in the forest?

The knights who say ree

Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

It had too many sleepless Knights!

I got a job making chess pieces.

I'm currently working knights.

Singing French Knights

In the Middle Ages, Western France was known for it singing knights. The most famous group were a bunch of lancers from the town of Brittany. They were known as the Brittany Spears.

There once was a famous fighter, anointed by the king in ancient france. After his death, all other knights swore to carry on his battle tactics, named after him in his honor, for all wars to come.

His name was Sir Render.

Two knights were fighting and one landed a cutting blow to the ankles.

The opposing knight was defeeted.

What do you call knights going to the dark side?

Med-evil knights

A knight asks a squire for the time

The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time

What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?

One is eight nights while the other ate knights

Two knights where battling when one of them got both of their feet cut off

He was defeated

Which one of Sir Arthur's knights made the round table?

Sir cumfrence

A medieval worker in England was fixing the fence on the top of the castle

He decided to take a break because he was hungry.

Two knights practicing combat nearby. One of them accidentally made a mistake and got shoved into the unfixed fence.

When the fence broke, he forcefully fell down the long distance. When he got down, in his dying breath, he screamed "THIS ISN'T EVEN REPOSTED!"

Why was the castle prostitute tired all the time?

She worked knights.

Why were the Dark Ages a thing?

Because there were so many knights.

Two men in suits of armour enter a hotel...

And ask for a room for two knights.

What bird regals you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?

Bard owl.

How do Knights communicate ?

Chain mail

Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?

For the night knights!

What do you call a meeting of the Knights of the Round Table?

A *circonference*.

Why did they call it the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights!

Lesser known Knights of the Round Table

I was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield. - Sir Prize

I shall see you around. - Sir Cumference

We shall fight on land or sea. - Sir Fenturf

I was the knight who was afraid to fight. - Sir Render

I was the unbelievable knight. - Sir Real

I was the knight that drank too much. - Sir Rhosis

3 knights walk into a bar with their swords.

The bartender sees them walk in and asks, why are you taking your swords in here with you?

The knights say, in case of mimics.

The knights laugh, the bartender laughs, the table laughs, they kill the table.

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were a lot of knights.

Arthur and Lancelot went to the inn and rented a room for 2 knights.

Arthur slept in a king sized bed, Lancelot took the queen.

What did the two knights say when they got to the hotel?

We'd like a room for two nights please.

Why do dragons sleep all day?

So they can fight knights!

A poem

In days of old

When Knights were bold

And toilet lights were dim

You'd hear a splash and then a shout

'Oh no! He's fallen in'

Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?

Because it was the time of knights.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the knights kingdom jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working knights arthurs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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