Knife Fork Jokes

35 knife fork jokes and hilarious knife fork puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knife fork that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knife Fork Short Jokes

Short knife fork jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knife fork humour may include short fork and knife jokes also.

  1. My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting" then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"
  2. I remember when I was a kid, at dinner my parents gave me a knife and fork, so I'd bang them on the table.. ..We were quite an incestuous family.
  3. A recent survey found only 20% of parents were eating dinner with their children... ...the other 80% were using a knife and fork.
  4. A fork and a knife's conversation Knife: forks are basically useless.
    Fork: why? What will people eat with?
    Knife:with their hands.
    Fork: you've got a point
  5. Utensils Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"
    Guy 2: "That's forked up!"
    Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2*
    Guy 2: "What? Too spoon?*
  6. What did the spoon say to the knife. It's knife to meet you. You wanna fork.
    The knife then says, I can't there's to much on my plate.
  7. Why didn't the fork and spoon want to hang out with the butter knife? He was just too dull.
  8. How to cannibals eat their meals? With a fork and knife, like everyone else.
    What kind of monsters do you think they are?
  9. Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
  10. I heard the fork was having an affair with the knife... Or is it too spoon to bring that up?

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Knife Fork One Liners

Which knife fork one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knife fork? I can suggest the ones about forks and fork and spoon.

  1. Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it.
  2. Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife They were his Catlery
  3. Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed.
  4. What do you call an aggressive knife and fork? Cutlairy.
  5. Wanna fork? Not to-knife, but as spoon as I feel better.
  6. What do you call the trendy game kids are playing with their silverware? Fork-Knife
  7. Why are you eating the soup with the knife? Because the fork leaks.
  8. What did the spoon say when he caught his knife cheating on him? Get the fork outta here!
  9. If Spooning leads to Forking, what does Knifing lead to? Abortions.
  10. Dinner is a lot like r**... You have the choice between a fork and a spoon or a knife

Playful Knife Fork Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about knife fork you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knife fork pranks.

This is a fork

"If this is a fork", said my 12-year-old holding up his four-tined dinner fork, "then this", holding up his butter knife, "is a wunk".
After I stopped laughing, I had to explain to my wife what would make a threek and a twok (or toque I guess because that's a real word?) using this same logic.

The other night, I asked a woman If she wanted to come back to my place for a cuddle.

She said, "There will be no spooning. There will definitely be no forking. But if you talk to me again, there will be a knifing."

An Indian said can eat

An Indian told me that using hands to eat is so much more convenient than knife and forks. Knife and forks impose so much restriction when eating and there is NOTHING that he can't eat with his hands, even soup!
I took him to hot p**....

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were captured by cannibals and told that If they could not escape, each of them would be skinned and eaten and their skin turned into a canoe.

Each was allowed one weapon to help him escape. The Englishman chose a gun but he soon ran out of bullets and was captured. He was skinned, eaten and his skin turned into a canoe. The Scotsman chose a knife but he was soon overpowered by The cannibals. He was skinned, eaten and his skin turned into a canoe. The Irishman asked for a fork.
'A fork?' they said. 'You won't get very far with that.' The Irishman grabbed The fork, stabbed himself all over with it and said, 'now try turning my skin into a canoe!'

3 men get stranded on an island.

These men are captured by local cannibals. Now the cannibals being merciful tell the 3 men that they will provide them with any weapon they want to kill themselves, in which afterwards they will be eaten and their skins with be made into boats. So the first guy says can i have a gun. He is given a gun, he shoots himself and they make a boat out of him. The second guy asks for a knife. He is given what he asks for and he stabs himself to death and they make a boat out of him. The third guy asks for a fork. The cannibals find this strange but agree. The guy proceeds to stab himself with the fork while yelling, hope your boat sinks, hope your boat sinks.

There are two lunatics in a mental asylum...

So, there's two lunatics in a lunatic asylum and they're both due to have assessments to be released. They decide to make a pact that the first person who goes in to see the doctor will tell the other one the answers to the questions.
So the first one goes in to see the doctor and the doctor says: "if I took this fork and stuck it in your eye, what would happen?"
The patient says, "I'd be partially blind"
"Good," says the doctor, "what would happen if I stuck this fork into your other eye?"
"I'd be totally blind," says the man.
"Excellent, you're free to go!"
As they pass on the corridor, the patient says to his mate "the first one's partially blind and the second one is totally blind".
"Right," says the doctor, "If I took this knife and chopped off your ear, what would happen?"
"I'd be partially blind," says the lunatic.
"Hmm," says the doctor, but decides to continue: "what would happen if I take this knife and chopped off your other ear?"
"I'd be totally blind," says the lunatic.
Well, by this point, the doctor is very confused and decides to probe further into why this would be.
"Well," says the patient, "my cap would fall over my eyes".