Knickers Jokes
52 knickers jokes and hilarious knickers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knickers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a good laugh! This article contains an array of knickers jokes that will have you chuckling for days! From a pun about no knickers to a comment about a panty's effectiveness as a trouser, this humorous collection of jokes about undergarments is sure to bring a smile to your face.
Funniest Knickers Short Jokes
Short knickers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knickers humour may include short underpants jokes also.
- Two guys are changing in a locker room, one is putting on lace knickers "Since when do you wear womens pants?"
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!" - I saw a 5 legged woman crying and I asked her why She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said at least your knickers fit like a glove
- I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable
- Talking shoes What did the shoes say to the capri pants?
"What's up britches!"
What did the shoes say to the black underpants?
"Whassup my knickers?" - Bought the wife some meatloaf knickers for Xmas. The front says "I will do anything for love"
On the rear it says "but I won't do that" - I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant; Are these knickers satin?"
"No she said, They're brand new... - Why did the blonde get confused in the ladies toilet? She had to pull her knickers down herself.
- Ladies - how do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there.
- My girlfriend asked me to take off her bra and knickers... And to not put them back on again.
- Did you know my girlfriend is a fortune teller? Once a month I put my hand down her knickers and get my palm red!
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Knickers One Liners
Which knickers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knickers? I can suggest the ones about panties and knockers.
- When I get home I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off The elastic's killing me 😫
- I call this poem Old Women's Knickers Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Ethels are green - What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants? "Where my knickers at?"
- An ode to old ladies knickers. Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Ethel's are green - Did ya hear about the woman with five legs? Her knickers fitted her like a glove.
- How do you tell if a girl is wearing no knickers By the dandruff on her shoes
- What did the brittish gangster say when they lost there pants? Where my knickers at!?
- What do you call two robbers? A pair of knickers.
- Why are British seamstresses the best? Knicker, pleats.
- What do you call a guy that really loves pants? A 'knicker' lover
- What underpants do English police wear? Knickers.
- Old Age Pensioner's Knickers roses are red.
violets are blue.
ethyls are green. - The best thing about the south is... They still hang their knickers in the front lawn.
No Knickers Jokes
Here is a list of funny no knickers jokes and even better no knickers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I know I need to lose weight when.. I ask my boyfriend "do I look fat in these knickers ? " and he says " what knickers ?"
- A Brit shopping for pants just caused a riot at a Black Lives Matter protest outside our local Walmart He asked someone if the store sold knickers.
- Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport? She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.
- I just can't stop ogling at hot 18 year olds dressed in nothing but p**.... I could say I've a knicker teen addiction.
- I was in a fancy l**... shop, and I asked the cashier if these knickers were satin.. She said 'no, they're brand new!'
- I've bought the wife a pair of crotchless knickers ready for Halloween. There's nothing s**... in it, it's just that she'll get a better grip on her broomstick.
- I bought the Mrs some crotchless knickers for Halloween. Nothing s**... it's just to give her a better grip on her broomstick:
- Today on Words that sound bad but aren't; Knickers Todd, Did you steal all my Knickers again?
Dammed Knickers taking all the good boys away from all the good p**... women. - The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?"
I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
Humorous Knickers Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about knickers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean underwear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knickers pranks.
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**..., 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers:
"Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"
"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided; if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
Little Emily went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No", they only want to look at your knickers."
Emily said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag"!
Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels
"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum
"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, holding a
big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips
her knickers off and says
'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**...,
'You must have a vase somewhere!'
I went for a romantic break with the wife
She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"
As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"
My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"
I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted
"and I don't ever want to catch you wearing them again!"
"Mommy, mommy! Suzy at school was showing the boys her knickers for a penny."
*Oh my goodness, my son. What did you do?*
"I came straight home, of course!"
*That's my good boy.*
"Mom?"
*Yes, my son?*
"May I please have a penny?"
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place.
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place. After the presentation she asked, "Has anyone got any questions?"
I put my hand up and asked, "What colour knickers have you got on?"
An Irishman goes to buy some wellies
The assistant hands him a pair and he tries one on.
Noticing that he's having difficulty, she gently says:
"Sir, if you look under the soles, you'll see L and R, for Left and Right"
The ponders this for a moment and then blurts out:
"To be sure, beghora, that'll be why me wife's knickers have got C&A written on them!"
My wife came rushing in out of the garden and said, "There's a pair of my knickers missing off the washing line."
I said, "I know, the two kids from next door have them." She said, "The dirty little perverts." I said, "It's nothing like that, they mentioned something about building an hammock."
So I'm at the dentist's office...
...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."
Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.
He was approached by someone who said "Really? You dressed as Santa?"
The man replied "Almost. You see, I went commando."
The person was surprised at the response. So he asked "why does that change anything?"
The man smiled, and slyly replied "Today, I am dressed as Saint Knicker-less"
I was sat on the beach with my girlfriend the other day.
After a while, I turned to her and said, "If you were to see someone in a bra and knickers at the beach, you would think they are crazy. But somehow it's perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini, which is s**... as it's basically the same thing."
She said, "I don't care. Please, just take them off."
