JokoJokes

Knee Slapping Jokes

20 knee slapping jokes and hilarious knee slapping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about knee slapping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Knee Slapping Short Jokes

Short knee slapping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The knee slapping humour may include short knee slap jokes also.

  1. What does the electron say to the resistor? Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap

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Knee Slapping One Liners

Which knee slapping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with knee slapping? I can suggest the ones about knee slapper and slapping.

  1. What do you call a Rabbi who is also a chemist? an Acidic Jew.
    \*Slaps Knee\*
  2. What do you call a belt made of paper? A waist of paper. *knee slap*
  3. Why was Biggie hungry at school? He forgot Tupac his lunch!
    *knee slap*
  4. No chicken dies a v**....
    They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
  5. What do you call a feminist sea creature? A seafenenemi. **slaps knee

Knee Slapping Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about knee slapping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slaps jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make knee slapping pranks.

A bunch of guys who sit around all day saying jokes got tired of repeating the same jokes, so they decided to number the jokes. Whenever one of them wanted to say a joke, he'd just say "Number 32", for example, and they'd all bust out laughing

One day one of the guys stood up and shouted "Number 54", as usual they all laughed. o**... though, laughed hysterically, slapped his knee, and had tears streaming down his face.

One of his friends asked him: "What's going on? Why did you laugh like this?"

He replied: "It's the first time I heard this joke"

So a s**... house painter gets a contract to paint a rectory.

Being the swindler cheapskate he is, he stirs water into the paint to save a buck. The painter hastily slaps the paint onto the rectory, and right as he applies the last s**..., the weather, which had been perfectly clear and sunny, instantly went dark, and a torrential rain poured down. The cheap paint instantly washes away with the deluge, and the painter, furious with the turn of luck falls to his knees and shakes his fists to the sky.
"WHY GOD, WHY?" He shouts.
An earthshaking voice booms in response **"REPAINT, REPAINT: THIN NO MORE"**

A high school English teacher is doing a lesson on how words modify to make new meanings.

The teacher explained: The word slap can be used as an action, a game, and a joke. You see, slap to the face is an action, slap jack is a card game, and a knee s**... is a joke.
But as you see, words need adjacent words to take on a new meaning. There is no word that can be an action, game and a joke just as it is.
A kid in the back of the room interrupted and asked, what about the word Trump?

Chemistry Puns

What do you do with a dying chemist? If you can't helium, you might as well barium. That joke was quite the knee-s**..., wasn't it. I certainly slapped my neon that one. It was just so-dium funny. Why do chemists like high altitudes? The views arsenic. If you're not laughing yet, don't worry. I'm only through with hafnium. Come on, I think ironed some laughter for that one. Where do chemists wash their dishes? In the zinc. I'm sorry if you didn't like that one. I'm no einsteinium. I would tell you another one, but I think they all argon.

Truth Assessing Robot

A father gave his son a robot. "The robot is always able to tell if you're speaking the truth. If you lie, the robot will slap you."
One night the son comes home really late. The dad asks, "Where were you?"
"At the library." Bam! The son gets slapped.
"Where were you really?"
"At the movies."
"What movie were you watching?"
"Ten commandments." Bam! He gets slapped again.
"What movie were you really watching?"
The son gets on his knees. "I'm sorry dad, I was watching an adult movie."
The dad gets angry. "When I was a kid, I never did that kind of stuff!" Bam! The dad gets slapped.
The mom walks in. "You two are so a like there's no doubt you're father and son." Bam! She gets slapped.

A German joke

An old man was travelling by train from his hometown of Offenburg to visit family in Frankfurt am Main. It was quite a journey for him, since he never got around much.
At one time the conductor walks by yelling "HEIDELBERG, GET OFF!" The man thinks, "That's my name!" and gets off the train marvelling at the wonders of modern technology that allow the railway companies to remind passengers by name where they have to change.
While on the platform he hears "HEIDELBERG, COME IN!" and hastily boards the other train. He sits down and since he's in an unusually good mood, he begins to chat up another passenger. "Where are you going?," he asks. "To Regensburg," sounded the reply.
The old man slaps his knees, and says excitedly "What a time to be alive! I'm going to Frankfurt, you're going to Regensburg, and we're both on the one same train!"

So the other day I was hanging out with the old pharoahs of Egypt...

So the other day I was hanging out with the old pharoahs of Egypt. I must say, I was pretty pumped! I mean come on, they're old pharoahs!! I meet up with them, and MAN, they are hard to talk to! They don't agree with my view of the world, they're narcissistic and all act like they're some sort of god, and they don't even have ANY similar hobbies or interests to my own! We pretty much had nothing in common, and it was not going as well as I had hoped.
But as the day went on, I was still trying to find some way to connect with these chaps. There had to be something! So anyway, we were sitting down eating dinner, everyone chowing down, and... well... I f**.... But to my surprise, one of the pharoahs f**... at the SAME time! And I swear, it was the same length, same tone, same sound, everything.
So I looked at him and say "Well hey! At least we got a "toot in common"!!!" *Knee Slap!!*

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.


When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.


When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”