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Kleptomaniac Jokes

76 kleptomaniac jokes and hilarious kleptomaniac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kleptomaniac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Kleptomaniac Short Jokes

Short kleptomaniac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kleptomaniac humour may include short pyromaniac jokes also.

  1. What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A comma.
    A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
  2. Someone asked me, since you have autism does that mean you take everything literally? I replied, no, that's a kleptomaniac.
  3. What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A literalist takes things literally and a kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
  4. Why don't kleptomaniacs have a sense of humor? Because they take everything, literally....
  5. I have a friend that's a recovering kleptomaniac anytime his symptoms start acting up, he takes something.
  6. Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally.
  7. It's almost impossible to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. Since they always take things literally.
  8. You know why you can't tell puns to a kleptomaniac? Because they take everything literally.
  9. How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same? They just can't help themselves.
  10. Do you know why kleptomaniacs have such a hard time understanding puns? Because they take things literally.

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Kleptomaniac One Liners

Which kleptomaniac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kleptomaniac? I can suggest the ones about compulsive liar and obsessive compulsive.

  1. A literalist takes things literally A kleptomaniac takes things, literally
  2. What do you call someone who take things literally A kleptomaniac!
  3. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... Because they always take things literally.
  4. I entered the world kleptomaniac championship tournament I took gold, silver and bronze.
  5. Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac? Because they take things literally.
  6. Why don't Kleptomaniacs understand puns? They always take things literally
  7. Why do kleptomaniacs hate puns? Because they take things literally.
  8. Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors? Because they take everything, literally.
  9. Why don't kleptomaniacs like puns? Because there are always taking things... literally.
  10. I'm a kleptomaniac Sometimes it gets really bad and I have to take something for it.
  11. As a kleptomaniac, I demand my rights... And that guy's rights... And his pen...
  12. Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes? They take everything literally
  13. Why was the kleptomaniac clown visiting the liquor store? He was lifting their spirits
  14. Why cant you tell a Kleptomaniac a joke? Because they take things, Literally
  15. I've been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac I've been taking all kinds of stuff for it

Kleptomaniac joke, I've been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about kleptomaniac can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of kleptomaniac puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Giggle-Inducing Kleptomaniac Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about kleptomaniac you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean nymphomaniac jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make kleptomaniac prank.

Did you hear about the kleptomaniac who went to the theater the other day?

He stole the show!

Did you hear about the kleptomaniac with no sense of humor?

He took everything literally

I tried telling a pun to a group of kleptomaniacs..

..but they kept taking things literally

I'm a kleptomaniac, but it's ok...

when it gets bad, I just take something for it.

Have you heard about the kleptomaniac that robbed that fish market?

They say he did it, "just for the halibut."

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally
(p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Why is it so hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They don't understand the subtle nuances of the English language, so they can't pick up on the double entendres needed to appreciate a good pun. It may be a generalization, but in my experience that's how it works out.

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but....

the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Don't use metaphors when talking to kleptomaniacs.

They take things literally.

Just thought I'd let you know that I'm a chronic kleptomaniac...

but don't worry, I'm taking something for it.

According to Carl Jung, I should live life like a kleptomaniac h**......

...and take things as they come.

How do you become a kleptomaniac?

You pick it up from other people

A kleptomaniac goes to see her doctor.

She says, "Doctor, my condition has worsened. Is there anything I can take?"

I dated a kleptomaniac once

She stole my heart, and my laptop.

Doctor, doctor... I keep taking things literally.

Doctor: try not to be so serious all the time.
Me: no, you don't understand, I'm a Kleptomaniac

A kleptomaniac never appreciated how he could exchange stolen goods for rocks.

He took things for granite.

Why can't you be funny with kleptomaniacs?

They take things literally.

Kleptomaniacs Anonymous

Yesterday, I attended a meeting for people suffering from kleptomania. When I walked in the room, a man greeted me and told me to take a seat, so I did. As I was leaving, he told me to put it back or he was gonna call the cops.

I hate being a recovered kleptomaniac

I can't take it any more

I was trying to explain puns to my kleptomaniac friend today...

Unfortunately he kept taking things literally.

Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs ?

The always take things literally

I tried talking with a kleptomaniac.

But he took everything too literally.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs....

....because they always take things literally :'(

I'm a kleptomaniac with a proclivity for stealing strategy board games.

I like to take risks.

I've heard a lot of puns in my lifetime, some great, others horrible

But I think the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.
Happy cake day to me

Dad joke

It is hard explain a pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally

Don't judge a kleptomaniac...

Until you've walked a mile in their brother's shoes.

There used to be no treatment for those uncontrollable urges as a kleptomaniac...

...nowadays, you can just take something for it.

I'm a Kleptomaniac...

Most of the time I've got it in check but if it gets really bad I just take something for it.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs

They always take things literally

Why can't you teach the concept of irony to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything..literally.

The Real Problem With Kleptomaniacs...

Is That They Take Things Literally

I went to a kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting last night..

I went to grab a chair but they were already taken.

A kleptomaniac signed up for a cooking class,

He wanted to take a whisk.

I hate when people call me a Kleptomaniac

I prefer... 'Man of STEAL'

Kleptomaniac joke, A literalist takes things literally

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these kleptomaniac jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.