Klepto Jokes
34 klepto jokes and hilarious klepto puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about klepto that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Klepto Jokes to Share with Friends
What is a good klepto joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I took a kleptomania exam.
It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
I'm a kleptomaniac
Sometimes it gets really bad and I have to take something for it.
As a kleptomaniac, I demand my rights...
And that guy's rights... And his pen...
Why was the kleptomaniac clown visiting the liquor store?
He was lifting their spirits
I'm a kleptomaniac with a proclivity for stealing strategy board games.
I like to take risks.
I went to a kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting last night..
I went to grab a chair but they were already taken.
The Kleptomania Championships are tonight
Winner takes all
A kleptomaniac signed up for a cooking class,
He wanted to take a whisk.
A kleptomaniac goes to see her doctor.
She says, "Doctor, my condition has worsened. Is there anything I can take?"
How do you become a kleptomaniac?
You pick it up from other people
A kleptomaniac never appreciated how he could exchange stolen goods for rocks.
He took things for granite.
I'm 95% sure I'm either a kleptomaniac or a charitable person
Give or take a few percent...
So a kleptomaniac goes to see a doctor about his stealing problem.
Patient: Doc, I just can't seem stop stealing everything.
Doc: Please take a seat...
A kleptomaniac walk into a bathroom
He takes a shower
Kleptomaniacs Anonymous:
Helping people to help themselves
Kleptomaniac, frustrated
Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?"
He couldn't take a joke.
If I were a kleptomaniac mushroom, I would be called.....
A "shiitake" mushroom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend says I'm a klepto and I took his word.
It's my word now, b**...
Take it from me...
I like kleptomaniacs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kleptocracy
In Trump's new administration what tune will they play when Trump enters the room?
Hail to the thief.
What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?
"None of your beeswax!"
I used to be a kleptomaniac...
But I'm better now. I took something for it.
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Klepto One Liners
Which klepto one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with klepto? I can suggest the ones about burglary and gasoline.
- What do you call stolen digestive medication? Klepto-Bismol
- Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters? She had to...steel wool.
- Don't tell a Klepto this... ...they take everything literally.
- My friend says I'm a klepto and I took his word. It's my word now, b**...
