JokoJokes

Kitty Cat Jokes

38 kitty cat jokes and hilarious kitty cat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kitty cat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Kitty Cat Short Jokes

Short kitty cat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kitty cat humour may include short kitty jokes also.

  1. My parents treat their puppers and kittys like they rule the home. I guess they're reigning cats and dogs.
  2. An old lady had two cats, which looked exactly the same. An old lady had two cats, which looked exactly the same. To tell them apart, she named one of them "Kitty" and drowned the other one.
  3. what did the kitty cat say to the communist dictator after having it's entire heritage wiped off the face of the map? Mao
  4. If that Forman's from That 70s Show were to have a pet cat, what kind of cat would it be? A red kitty.

Share These Kitty Cat Jokes With Friends




Kitty Cat One Liners

Which kitty cat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kitty cat? I can suggest the ones about cats and kittens and cat fur.

  1. What do you call a bossy kitty? A pushy cat
  2. What did Katy Perry name her cat? Kitty Purry
  3. What do you call a cat in a gun belt? Kitty kitty bang bang
  4. What do you call books written for cats? Kitty Litter-ature.
  5. What does a 500 pound canary say to a cat? HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY
  6. What did Selena sing as she filled her cat's food dish? KITTY KITTY YUM YUM
  7. Why do kitties smell like cat food?
  8. Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
    A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
  9. I took my cat to court for trashing my house The judge charged him with kitty litter.
  10. What do you call it when you throw a cat out of the car? Kitty litter.
  11. What do you call a cat that is flung out a window? Kitty litter.
  12. What did the kitty say when it ran for mayor?? Now, that was one politi-cat debate!
  13. Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin? Because it was a kitty fiddler.
  14. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry
  15. Why was the cat speeding? K.i.t.t.y was in Super Purrrrrrrrrsuit Mode.

Giggle-Inducing Kitty Cat Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about kitty cat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cat lady jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kitty cat pranks.

A little boy sitting in an aeroplane looks out of the window and asks his mother...

"If big ducks have small ducklings and big cats have small kitties, why don't big planes have small planes?"
The exasperated mother tells her son to ask this question to an airhostess.
The boy calls for an airhostess and asks, "If big ducks have small ducklings and big cats have small kitties, why don't big planes have small planes?"
She smiles and says, "Tell your mother that the British Airways always pulls out on time."

My kitten won top prize in a cute competition.

Unfortunately, they messed up the award... Instead of making it in the shape of a kitty's face they made it into a kitty's behind!!
It's a real cat-a**...-trophy!

Man walks into a bar with a cat under his arm.

 He orders a gin for himself and a tonic water for his pet.
"I'll serve your gin, but I won't make him anything", says the barman, pointing at the kitty.
"Why not", asks the man
"I don't want to end up in an unresponsive stupor", the barman replies
"What are you on about?" says the man, "he's the one drinking it".
"Yeah, but that's what happens every time I get catatonic"

Do cats stutter?

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl.
"My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....And before he could say f**...', the Rottweiler ate him!"

The Stuttering Cat

This is always the most successful joke I tell. Maybe you guys will like it.
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began
"I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl.
"My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before she could say f**...!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"