Kitten Jokes
74 kitten jokes and hilarious kitten puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kitten that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh with some of the best kitten jokes around! From silly puns centered around kitten-heels to clever jokes about curious cats, you'll find all kinds of humor here from the bad kitten to the bandsaw-hungry pet. Whether you're a pet owner looking for a laugh or simply someone with a fondness for furry friends, these kitten jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
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Funniest Kitten Short Jokes
Short kitten jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kitten humour may include short kitty jokes also.
- How do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed? (Joke from my 10 yr old) You order it from the Cat-alogue
- I phoned the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase." - My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river… I did it but it broke my heart.
I quite liked her dad… - Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis? It was an obvious faux paw.
^Cr - Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...
...shame really, they would have loved a kitten. - My French girlfriend is aggressively insisting we adopt a kitten She stormed into my room and said "I think it's time you and I had a little chat"
- Why couldn't moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet.
- Three kittens are on a sloping roof... Which one slide down the slowest?
The one with the highest μ - Pet shop Have you got any kittens going cheap? Asked a customer in a pet shop.
No, sir, replied the owner. All our kittens go Meow. - Have you got any kittens going cheap? - the man asked in the pet shop. No sir. All our kittens go meow, replied the owner.
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Kitten One Liners
Which kitten one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kitten? I can suggest the ones about kitty cat and kids cat.
- what do you call a pile of kittens? a meowntain
- I asked my kitten who her favorite Chinese communist was. She said "Mao".
- What do Japanese kittens take to school for lunch? A bean-toe box!
- What do you call a tower of kittens? A meowtain.
- Cat puns freak meowt... ...I'm not kitten.
- Where was the astronaut kitten blasting off to? Meowter Space
- How do you turn a kitten into a cow? You marry her!
- [OC] Why did the pirate say he had cute kitten bandaids? To treat me owies…
- Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter
- Cat puns really freak meowt I am not Kitten.
- Chuck Norris has a kitten Every night for a snack
- Three kittens were on a roof, which slipped off first? The one with the lowest mew
- If K-9 is a guard dog, a guard cat would be.... K-10.^^kitten
- introverts are like kittens Extroverts see them and go " I want *that* one"
- Kittens What do you call a pile of kittens???
Meowtain!!!
😂🤣😂
Dead Kitten Jokes
Here is a list of funny dead kitten jokes and even better dead kitten puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do unbaptised, dead kittens go? Purrrgatory.
- Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens? Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.
- Did yiu hear about the new controversial show on animal planet? It shows these fluffy, cute puppies and kittens after they're dead. It's called awww-topsy.
Hilarious Kitten Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about kitten you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cat fur jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kitten pranks.
I was in my attic yesterday looking for some old photos...
...when I came across the present that I was going to give to my daughter for her 3rd birthday last year.
It was a bit of a shame. She would have loved that kitten.
Two kittens walk down the street together,
and as they talk, one kitten gets panicked and starts to yell:
-You won't believe what I heard the other day!!!
Τhe kitten reaches the others kitten's ear and starts whispering.
The other kitten gets a terrified look on its face and says:
-l**... EAT WHAT?
What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?
The cat s**... on the mat.
What do you call a kitten crying on the grass in the back yard?
A lawn mewer.
(I wrote this yesterday).
What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke?
You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?
Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first?
The one with the least mew.
What do you call a kitten playing on a foot rest? An Awwwwtoman.
Enjoy!
Why was the kitten fired from his telemarketing job?
For Catcalling
My technique with women is, I sneak up behind them and scream obscenities in their ear — when they turn round I'm wearing a nice sweater and holding a kitten.
I call it 'Shock and Awwww!'
new kitten
So I decided to teach my kitten to write. You might think it was pretty hard but he took to it easily. Before long he could do anything I could do.. Turns out he was a copy cat :)
My cat told me he's old enough to move out on his own now
but then he said nah I'm just kitten
What happens when you cross a grown kitten, a donkey, and a champion?
A cat-a**...-trophy.
Why is a lonely guy with a hard-on like a kitten stuck in a tree?
Because it's easier to get it up than to *get down*
What does a kitten do when it tells a secret?
Wispurrrrrrrrr
I cannot take my new pet cat seriously
She's always kitten around
Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten.
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten? Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. You see, no one cares about the Muslims.
Two kittens are sitting at the edge of a slide. Which falls first?
The one with the lower mu
What did the scientist say after he spliced his DNA with a cat?
"You must be kitten me."
A teacher, a nurse, and an Army man were in a hot air balloon.
The balloon was too heavy so each of them dropped something off it. The teacher dropped an apple, the nurse dropped her medical bag, and the Army man drops a grenade. After they land, they go for a walk. They come across a little girl who's crying. They ask her what's wrong and she says an apple fell out of the sky and knocked out her new puppy. Later they come across a little boy who is also crying. They ask him what's wrong and he says a bag fell from the sky and knocked out his new kitten. Then they come across a little girl who's laughing really hard. They ask her what's so funny and she says "I f**... and the building behind me blew up!"
Two kittens were chasing each other in the jungle
Suddenly one slipped and fell, it's mom saw and told it: tiger shoelaces together or you'll fall again
I recruited a nice little girl and her cute cuddly kitten to the flat earthers this weekend.
I also figured out the brakes on my truck are overdue to be replaced.
One man proposed that Geico switch their mascot to a kitten.
"Now, with only 15 minutes, you can save 15 purr-cent on cat insurance"
What did the cat say to the dog when he was trying to run for office?
"Who am I kitten, Rover. I'm not cut out to be a pawlitician."
My kitten kept trying to mount the neighbor's kitten
So I took him to the vet to get cat-strated
Two kittens are sitting on a sloped tin roof and start to slide down at the same time. Which kitten falls off the roof first?
The one with the smaller μ (pronounced mew).
There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?
the one with the smallest *mu*
.
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.
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**Preemptive explanation:**
Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the ratio of the force of friction between two bodies and the force pressing them together.
There was a situation where malware was shown as a kitten meme
The damage it caused was catastrophic
I was formerly sad when my pets came and told me that my wife died
But they were just kitten.
All the catnip is gone
You have cat to be kitten me right now
What did the feline say when it couldn't believe what was happening?
You've cat to be kitten me right meow.
I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy
He does not like cat shoes
I've been trying to convince my wife to get a tattoo of a kitten on her breast.
Just so she could have a t**... tat.
Kittens and down syndrome
Whats a kitten and a down syndrome kid have in common? Both are cute when little but noboby wants a grown 1
A kitten and a Bengali tiger meet on a disused road
"Why so serious?"The tiger says to the kitten.
"I thought you were gonna eat me," the kitten replies.
"'Course not," the tiger says. "You're a cat; I'm a cat. No beef here."
"Yeah, good point. Haven't seen any cows for miles anyway."
I wrote down on a piece of paper several books I wanted to read about substances that speed up chemical reactions, and told my kitten to go out and get them for me.
I gave my catalyst.
My kitten got a reward for having a fat a**...
It was a catastrophe
What do you do when your kitten poops?
Catch it.
Why did the kittens get in trouble during spelling class?
Because they were copycats.
My kitten won top prize in a cute competition.
Unfortunately, they messed up the award... Instead of making it in the shape of a kitty's face they made it into a kitty's behind!!
It's a real cat-a**...-trophy!
At the vet: they put in a catheter for my kitten...
do they put dogtheters in puppies?
(From my wife)
