Kit Jokes
82 kit jokes and hilarious kit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kit Short Jokes
Short kit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kit humour may include short package jokes also.
- If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative... Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!
- I couldn't afford an Ancestry DNA kit... So I just announced that I had won the lottery. I soon found out to all my relatives are.
- You don't need an Ancestry DNA kit to find out who your relatives are. Just tell everyone that you've won the lottery.
- There's a new machine at my gym. Used it for an hour and felt sick. It's really good though, does everything! Kit Kats, Snickers, Milky Ways. The lot.
- My girlfriend is in a band My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.
It was a cymbal of my love.
I hope this is an original joke. - I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
- Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too.
- New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it.
They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it... - When I was visiting Mexico, I found it strange that they would keep cheese in their first aid kits. Turns out it was just there in queso emergency.
- What's the difference between a Kit Kat and an Essex girl? You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat.
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Kit One Liners
Which kit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kit? I can suggest the ones about tool and toolbox.
- What do you call a dead body and two planks? A "Build your own Jesus" kit.
- How do you stop a lawyer from bleeding out? Attorney kit.
- My grandpa was buried with his entire butter making kit. He'll be churning in his grave.
- I was having trouble finding a singing partner, so I bought myself a duet yourself kit.
- A home DNA test kit does not make a good baby shower gift.
- A drummer got a tattoo of their drum kit... [OC] ...it was very cymbalic
- Just got myself a first aid kit Thought I'd treat myself
- How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?
With Attorney-kit. - What do you get when you put a lift kit on a supra Suprised
I'll see myself out. - My friend is buying a pregnancy test kit for his girlfriend Congratulations either way
- My Kit-Kat bar got stuck in the vending machine at work... ...gimme a break...
- Rihanna's beauty kit is selling well... ...imagine if she sold umbrellas.
- Apple is coming out with an electronic home drug test kit. The I-CUP
- What's the most useless thing ever? Anne Frank's drum kit.
- How do I confuse people? buying condoms and pregnancy testing kits together
Kit Kat Jokes
Here is a list of funny kit kat jokes and even better kit kat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whats the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a Kit-Kat? You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit-Kat
- My wife got a kitkat the other day and I stole a finger. Today she grabbed one of mine.. I guess it was Kit for Kat
- Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays! i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.
- What ad is the worst tip for athletes trying to stay healthy? "Have a break, have a Kit-Kat."
- I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work. - There was a new machine at the gym today. I had to stop using it after an hour as i felt sick, but it was worth it got through 4 kit kats 2 cherry cokes and 2 packets of crisps.
- People who say that their wedding day was the best day ever have obviously never had two Kit Kats fall out of a vending machine.
- The new machine at the gym is my favourite... It has snicker, skittles, kit kats and twix
- What did Nestle say when Kit Kats were discontinued? It's CRUNCH TIME!
- Why did Ross eat all the Kit-Kats? Because he was on a break.
Amusing Kit Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about kit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean equipment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kit pranks.
Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
How was the first ever h**... patient treated.
With a first aids kit.
-Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky? -Sorry, we only have normal Kit Kat.
-That's what I asked for, fat f*c**...!
What does a stripper do with her a**hole before she goes to work?
She drops him and his drum kit off at band practice.
Kit Kat
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, fatty."
Maybe not a joke as much as a cute misunderstanding but...
I cracked open a r**... kit last weekend. I had never seen one before.
Anyway, I obviously have been operating under a huge misconception. I laughed so hard, she got away.
I got my 6 year old so good and she actually understood it. I cracked myself up in the process
I was holding my daughter in the living room and she saw the jewelry making kit she got for Christmas. She asked me to make her a necklace.
So I immediately dropped her.
She held on to me and dangled with her arms around my neck.
"There, you're a necklace."
The three most important things to have in a survival situation.
Every survival kit needs to have three things.
1) A zippo: Trusty lighter to start fires to cook food and keep warm.
2) A good knife: Something to be able to help build a shelter and hunt.
3) A standard deck of playing cards: As soon as you realize you're stranded, deal out a game of solitaire on the ground. About half way through your game, someone will come up behind you and say "That can go there." Boom, you're saved.
So there's this lemon...
And he's running down the street.
He trips and falls on the sidewalk, leaving him with a n**... gash on his arm.
Luckily, another lemon walks by and patches him up with a Lemonaid kit.
(It's really bad, but the joke inspired my username. Just had to share.)
My wife got really angry when I spent a lot of money on a make-your-own perfume kit
...but it made scents to me
What did Johnny Depp's lawyer say when they found Amber Heard's "bruise makeup kit" wasn't made before 2017?
Objection, lack of foundation
My neighbour came b**... on my door at 3am last night.
I couldn't believe such outrageous behaviour.
Luckily, I was up practicing on my drum kit at the time so I wasn't too startled by him.
There was a mohel who had the odd habit of keeping the foreskins in a box in a closet.
One day he noticed that they'd naturally tanned into very supple leather, so he took the boxful to a bag maker, to see if anything could be done with them. The craftsman told him to return in a month.
When he did, he was presented with a shaving kit.
"All of that leather, and this was all you could make of it?!"
"Well, it may be a shaving kit now, but if you rub it a bit, it becomes an overnight bag, and if you rub it a lot, it becomes a two-suiter."
Just been to the gym
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot..
p**... & Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... says to Murphy, I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts, I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: p**..., go home. You've gone mad.
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where do you think you're going? asks the foreman.
Well, I can't work in the friggin dark! said Murphy.
Did you hear about the mail-order surgery kit you can have delivered straight to your door?
It's called Suture Self.
The wife said she wanted to do some Game of Thrones role-playing tonight...
She strapped our kid to my back and made me hold the door while she m**... to Kit Harington.
Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?
Because thyme heals all wounds.
:D
I had a robot named Sir Kit
One day I accidentally spilt some water on it and something caused it's legs to retract. It was a Short Sir Kit
I'm repairing my Quidditch equipment with some glue and a sewing kit. Quaffles I can usually fix by gluing them,
but Snitches get stitches
It's quiet...too quiet...
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?
She had to buy a duet yourself kit...
*-drops mic-*
*-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*
Man goes to a petrol station.
It's night time and one of those serving hatches. Talks to the girl. Can I have a can of coke and a Kit kat Chunky?
Off the girl goes to get his stuff. "There you go," she says, "One can of coke and a KitKat Chunky."
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat, you fat cow."
My preschooler hit me with this one today: Why did the girl bring a tool kit to her room?
Someone told her to make her bed!
I ordered the kit "Make your wife beautiful"
And they sent me two bottles of Jagermeister.
Police officer to a driver: OK, driver's license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.
Driver: Nah, I've already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain's cap?"
I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.
Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?
I don't know why my girlfriend's make-up kit keeps sliding around
But maybe it's table lean
I woke up with pins and needles in my arm
Maybe I should put the sewing kit away before I go to sleep next time.
If they made the first version of the car for Knight Rider in Manhattan while listening to Frank Sinatra's New York, New York, they might have had confidence in their ability to build another, elsewhere. After all...
If you can make Kit there, you can make Kit anywhere.
Why did the cat want to become a nurse?
He wanted to be a first aid kit.
What did Jesus get as a present when he was resurrected?
Hole repair kit.
My biggest question about the Nintendo Labo cardboard kit...
Is it wii Usable?
The jeweler received a new stamp kit as a birthday present
He thought it was pretty impressive.
I bought my dad a golf kit for Father's Day
His name is Joel...
