Kippur Jokes
8 kippur jokes and hilarious kippur puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kippur that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical & Quirky Kippur Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good kippur joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A nice clean jewish joke
The young rabbi was an avid golfer. Even on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, he snuck out by himself for a quick nine holes.
On the last hole he teed off, and a gust of wind carried his ball directly over the hole and dropped it in for a hole in one.
An angel who witnessed this miracle complained to God, This guy is playing golf on Yom Kippur, and you cause him to get a hole in one? This is a punishment?
Of course it is, said the Lord, smiling. Who can he tell?
On the back of u/baldillin
A young Rabbi is a very avid golfer. He even goes out on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year to play some holes. On his last hole the wind carries the ball and he sinks an amazing hole in one.
In Heaven an angel complains to God, this Rabbi is playing golf on Yom Kippur and you give him a hole in one as punishment!?
Of course, God says, who can he tell?
Three Jewish guys are having a conversation about how reform their synagogues are…
The first man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that they serve shrimp and pork in the cafeteria
The second man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that they serve us shrimp and pork on Yom Kippur
The third man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that on Yom Kippur there's a sign on the door that says 'Sorry, closed for the holidays'
Credits to wherever my Grandpa read this…
As a Jew, am I allowed to eat McDonalds today?
Yes, I know it's Yom Kippur. But McDonalds is fast food.
My friend was cranky from fasting all day for Yom Kippur yesterday.
I'm sure it will Passover.
What do you call a Jew who didn't go to Synagogue on Yom Kippur?
Fake Jews.
Synagogue Dog
A jewish guy walks into his synagogue on Yom Kippur with with his dog. The rabbi stops him at the door and says "Moishe, what's the matter with you? You can't bring a dog in here."
"Don't worry, Rabbi," replies Moishe, "Isaac here is just as orthodox as I am, and he's come to pray." And as soon as he says that, the dog stands up on his hind legs, pulls a yarmulka out of Moishe's pocket, grabs a prayer book and starts praying in perfect Hebrew.
The Rabbi is amazed. "Oh my god," he says, "this is incredible, Moishe. You should make this dog become a rabbi!"
"You tell him that, Rabbi," replies Moishe. "He wants to be a doctor."
A Rabbi on Yom Kippur
Rabbi Ben Simmons was fed up with his congregation. So, he decided to skip the services on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, and instead go play golf.
Moses was looking down from heaven and saw the rabbi on the golf course. He naturally reported it to God. Moses suggested God punish the rabbi severely.
As he watched, Moses saw the rabbi Ben Simmons playing the best game he had ever played. The rabbi got a hole-in-one on the toughest hole on the course and then again on the next hole.
Moses turned to God and asked, 'I thought you were going to punish him. Do you call this punishment?'
God replied, 'Who can he tell?'
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