The Best 35 Kings Queens Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kings Queens jokes. There are some kings queens jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kings queens puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kings Queens Jokes and Puns

What's it called when a King and Queen have no children?

A receding heir line...

Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game

Reasons are:

1. The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. The Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. Most importantly, there's only one Queen.

How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist?

They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.

I was playing chess with my Australian friend

He moved his queen in front of my king and said "check, mate".

I replied and said, "you didn't win though?"

Confused he said, "mate, I know."

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.

It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.

'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'

'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.

He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.

Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.

'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..


Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper

I said to her: "Two more inches and I'd be a king"

"Two inches less and you'd be a queen", she replied.

Men Will Be Men

Before the King goes to war, he locks his wife (the beautiful Queen ),
in the room & gives the key to his best friend & says : If I am not back within 4 days , open the room and she is yours....
He sits on his horse & hits the road. Half an hour later he notices a dust cloud & sound behind him. He stops & sees his friend riding very fast towards him.
"What's wrong ?" King asks.
.
.
.
.
Out of breath, his friend answers, "It is the wrong Key...!! "

If horse racing is the "sport of kings"

is drag racing the sport of queens?

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.

Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.

Two in one direction, then one to the side.

Hm, funny how the knight moves.

Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant?

Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!

You can explore kings queens reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kings queens dad jokes. There are also kings queens puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have sex you moron.

Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.

Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....

The Rock and Roll Hierarchy has fallen

The King has left the building, Queen has bit the dust, and now the doves cry for their Prince.

Wife talking to Husband.

Wife: Why is it that, in Chess the King can only move one space at a time, but Queens are free to move wherever they like.?


Husband: That's because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

Sometime in the Middle Ages

Queen: come to bed

King: not until i have a name for my soldiers

Queen: k night

King: babe ur a genius

(Source: @fro_vo on Twitter)

How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?

Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper

Arthur and Lancelot went to the inn and rented a room for 2 knights.

Arthur slept in a king sized bed, Lancelot took the queen.


Chess makes us to realize our life!!!

Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

What Did the King say When the Queen Gifted him a Fool for his Birthday

"I've no use for one of these... But it was a nice jester"

Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries?

Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!

My wife said I should be treating her like a queen...

I said, only if I can be King Henry the VIII.

Why do "nice guys" suck at Chess

They never protect the king, always the queen

A Fairy Tale

After his daughter is cursed by the dark fairy, Maleficent, King Stefan summons his royal carpenters and commands them to make the finest, most comfortable bed in all the land.

"It will be done, Your Majesty," replies the master builder. "Does His Majesty prefer a queen or a king?"

"A king, since you asked," whispers Stefan, "…but don't tell that to the queen!"

Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs

Why does the queen have much more mobility than the king in chess?

Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

I visited a small village where they had a cat for a king and a dog for a queen...

...they were reigning cats and dogs.

A King and Queen are having trouble conceiving a child...

So the king starts holding his breath. When the Queen asks him why he says, "How can I breathe when there's no heir?"

What did Martin Luther King say to his wife while proposing?

Will you be my Martin Luther Queen?

Chess is actually quite easy...

Knight takes Rook, King takes Queen, and Bishop molests the Pawns.

One knight a king, a queen, and a dog sailed on a boat. The queen and king fell off and drowned. The dog tried to rescue them but was eaten by a shark. Who survived?

The knight.

(It's a better oral joke since knight and night are interchangeable)

My wife asked me to buy a king sized pillow at Target.

After a fruitless search, I replied, "As a trans madam once said to a prospective client, 'Sorry, they're all standard queens.'"


(true story, bro)

Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby?

Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper

It seems that today you either have to dress like a masculine motor king or a feminine flower queen; I wish there was a middle ground.

A daisy duke if you will.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kings queens jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kings queens piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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