The Best 61 Kingdom Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kingdom jokes. There are some kingdom ruler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kingdom queen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kingdom Jokes and Puns

The year is 2219

A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the next year. The true meaning of the ritual is lost in the annals of history but many believe it goes back to the days of a mythical quest they called Brexit.

A donkey had an IQ of 186.

He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. Source: my ex-wife was a former member]

Kingdom joke, Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

Alex Salmond walks into a bar in Scotland

I'm sorry, I meant the United Kingdom.

OC that I came up with whilst daydreaming: Why is there no sofa in the forbidden kingdom?

... because Mao is more of a chair man!


These are my reigning champion two-liners.

What do you call a kingdom with a lock?

Gate Britan.

.

What do you call an opinionated island?

View Zealand.

How does a queen get around her kingdom?

She gets throne.

Kingdom joke, How does a queen get around her kingdom?

What's the difference between someone you want to ask to marry you and the rest of the animal kingdom?

Proposalable thumbs!

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!

Why does the fairytale kingdom smell so awful?

Because of all the toad stools.

The United Kingdom.

A country whose name is now ironic.

You can explore kingdom royalty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kingdom throne dad jokes. There are also kingdom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do elephants have 4 feet?

Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race...

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race to see who's the fastest in the animal kingdom. The cheetah wins. The lion say "Hey, you a cheetah!" The cheetah says "Nah, you lion."

What was the slutty princess full of?

Kingdom come

If a king runs a kingdom and an emporer runs an empire. Who's about to run this country?

Yea that

United Kingdom: Brexit is the stupid most self destructive act a country could take.

USA : lol, hold my beer

Kingdom joke, United Kingdom: Brexit is the stupid most self destructive act a country could take.

A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.

Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.

What do you call the realm of the Lord of the Couches?

Sofa Kingdom.

What would happen if Hungary invaded and conquered Turkey?

A new kingdom would be formed known as full.


Sir John and Chung Lee walking in front of the Buckingham palace

Chung Lee says: "When I see all these flags, my heart fills with joy!"
Sir John:"But you are a Chinese national only visiting the United Kingdom, how so?"
Chung Lee:"Did you ever read the labels on the flags?!"

How would Hyrule be called if it had been Link who created the kingdom?

HYAAAArule.

....

Yeah that was bad....

I guess the United Kingdom really does have a patriarchy...

...because that is one hung Parliament.

When England had an Emperor, it was an Empire; when it had a King, it was a Kingdom; now they have Theresa May...

...and it is a Country.

We used to have kingdoms ran by kings and empires ran by emperors and now we have theresa may

And now it's mayhem

"I'd like a spell to make me famous," he said.

"OK," said the witch.

He burned for a week before he died. It was the talk of the kingdom.

The Irish must have lost so much money last night due to betting.

They'll be asking to rejoin the United Kingdom later today.

Hey, so they opened a new vietnamese restaurant around the corner, named it PhแปŸ King, or something smart like that.

Oh, no I think it's PhแปŸ Kingdom.

A kingdom is headed by a king...

So what is a country run by?

There was once a kingdom, a long, long time ago. where a dragon would eat the virgins of the land.

Then one wonderful day, a hero came to the kingdom. The leader told the hero of their predicament. He told him that every day, the dragon would take a few virgins to his cave to eat. The hero said that he will save the kingdom, and take care of the dragon.

After two weeks, the dragon starved to death.

What did the three kingdoms say when one fell?

"No Wei!"

Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.

Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."

Don says "What about a prince?"

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."

Don says "A duke then?"

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."

Don asks "Well what can I be?"

Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."

A king outlawed hunting in his kingdom

Pretty soon, deer and elk populations were out of control, eating the commoners' crops and becoming a general nuisance. The people revolted and overthrew the king, thus making it the first time in history a reign had been called on account of game.

The kingdom of Yemen had a totally different name when it was still a young country.

It was called Oboy.

I know it's bad, but I had to post it somewhere :')

There was a king.

He was having a problem with barbarians in his kingdom, so he began sending guards to patrol the roads at night.

One of his nobles sent some of his city guard to help with the efforts, and a fool to keep the king's mood up.

The king was polite, but full of pride, so he sent the guards back with the message, "I have plenty of guards of my own, but I appreciate the jester."

There were two thieves who were also being crucified next to Jesus. One of them said, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

Jesus looked towards the thief and said, Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in para...ARE THOSE MY SANDALS!

What is something that elephants are known to do that no other animal in the animal kingdom has been observed doing?

Make baby elephants.

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.

As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

England is a Kingdom cause it will be run by a King. China is an Empire as it has an Emporer. Why do you think the US is called a country?

After Scar was kicked out of the animal kingdom, he got a job fixing car horns at an auto mechanic.

Beep repaired

The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words...

Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.

Ig the Knight

Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!

To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig the Knight burst into flames! The Queen, astonished by what happened, asked her squire why he lit on fire.

Stunned, the squire spoke, "Ig...Knighted..."

A poem about British history

First we were a kingdom, and we had a king.

Then we were an empire, and we had an empress

Now we are a country, and we have Nigel Farage.

Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.

Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....

You know how the British used to exile people to Australia?

Seeing how everything there wants to kill you, I'm pretty sure the animal kingdom did the same

One Time Long Ago, Way Back In Medieval Times...

There was a brave knight named Sir Finley who fought everything the king commissioned him to. One day, a dragon terrorized a nearby village, scaring the kingdom. Sir Finley was sent of to slay this terrible dragon. Once he got there, the dragon's tail knocked him off balance. Sir Finley fell to the dragon, and the dragon cut off his feet first when starting to cook.

Sir Finley was de-feet-ed.

A king rules a kingdom... NSFW

... a queen rules a queendom, a con rules a....

Time for Saudi Jokes?

Who knew Dexter was a Muslim?

Who knew Dexter was #1 show in the Kingdom?

Why are Saudi Drs so good? In their Anatomy class they use living cadavers.

And?

Why is it called the United Kingdom instead of the United Queendom when it's ruled by a Queen?

Because it's still ruled by a man (Theresa May)

A short rhyming history of the British Isles

First, we were a kingdom, and we had kings.

Then, we were an empire, and we had emperors.

Now, we are a country, and we have Brexiteers.

What do you call a reptile that likes to start trouble in the animal kingdom?

An instigator

I'll see myself out...

Did you know back in the New Kingdom era, high ranking Egyptians were known for farting?

They all had a toot-in-common

What is the wettest country on earth?

United Kingdom, because the Queen has reigned for years.

*this is my 8 year old daughters absolute favorite joke.

Squirrels are the fuckboys of the animal kingdom

They only care about their nut

What is the best selling sex toy in the animal kingdom?

The armadildo.

To take down a kingdom, just kill the court jester

Or as they say, go straight for the juggler.

What happens if your car breaks down in the Mushroom Kingdom?

It gets Toad

Dolphins are the Ted Bundy of the animal kingdom

Raping murdering psychopaths, but white women love them.

There was a kingdom at the sky conducted by the random caste system.

At the age of 18 everyone gets a random cloud between 1 and 10. 1 is the best. Two friends join to the draw and result arrives. The first one gets the cloud number 5 and rejoices for it. He sees his friend extremely happy and asks "What happened? Did you get the cloud 1?"
"No" he says. "I'm on cloud 9."

What will you call a big broken glacier piece, floating towards United Kingdom?

Iceburgh

I'm going to be a furniture store entrepreneur one day.

My first store will be called "Sofa Kingdom".

My second store will be called "Ottoman Empire."

Then people will say "That's Sofa Kingdom also."

The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies...

It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kingdom monarch jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kingdom rey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes