The Best 31 Kindly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kindly jokes. There are some kindly courteous jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kindly five kinds of sex puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kindly Jokes and Puns

Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...

so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 sucking it, 1 licking it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one sucking it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think

An old man in tears

A young man taking a walk in a park comes across an elderly man sitting on a bench in tears. Touched by the poor man's sorrow, he kindly asks, "Please sir, why are you crying?"

The old man replies, "I have a beautiful 21 year old wife who makes love to me every night!"

Confused, the young man replies, "I still don't understand why you're crying."

The elderly man sobs, "I forgot where I live."

The man says to the bartender...

"Gimme twelve shots of your finest whiskey, and fast!"
The bartender lines up a dozen shot glasses and as he fills them, the man starts to down them one after the other.
Shocked, the bartender asks, "What's the hurry, buddy?"
Between shots, the man replies, "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I've got."
Concerned, the bartender asks kindly, "What have you got, brother?"
The man downs the last shot and puts all his money on the table. "Fifty cents!"

Kindly joke, The man says to the bartender...

[THIS IS A REQUEST; DO NOT UPVOTE] Does anyone have a joke where the audience of the joke says the punchline?

If this isn't the right place for this, kindly redirect me.

Medical checkup

An elderly man goes to the doctor for his yearly medical checkup.

The doctor, a kindly man with a slight stutter, asks his patient:

"So, how's the prost-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tate doing?"

The man thinks for a moment, then replies:

"Well... you could say I pee the way you speak."


Everyone's so politically correct these days.

You can't even say "black paint" anymore. You have to say "Tyrone, would you kindly paint my fence?"

The IT department hates me

I finish my delicious cup of morning coffee and kindly let them know "I successfully downloaded java again!"

Kindly joke, The IT department hates me

Baldness

A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out.

"Won't you give me something to keep it in?" he begged.

"Take this," the doctor said kindly, and he handed the patient a pill box.

Political Correctness has gone mad...

You can't even say "Black paint" anymore, you have to say "Jamal would you please kindly help me paint my fence."

Once Upon A Time There Was A Fat Woman

A Fat Woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Mirror: Kindly move aside. I can't see anything.

A man is sitting in his dentist's waiting room and is visibly nervous.

A kindly nurse comes up to him and says, "Sir don't be nervous, the first time is always the hardest." The gentleman looks up at her and exclaims, 'Don't 'First Time,' me tutz - I've been to the Dentist a million times and I know the drill!"

You can explore kindly pls reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kindly gracious dad jokes. There are also kindly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I hate how politically correct we have become as a society ...

You can't even say black paint anymore. Now you have to say, "Jamal kindly paint my house?"

TIFU by eating someone else's sandwich at work

After apologizing for my mistake, I kindly offered to take them to a restaurant of their choice after work. They happily agreed. We ended up going to a Chinese place. We had a good time. We're really good friends now.

Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"

It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.

An Englishman comes to Harvard.

Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-

Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?

Undergrad: It's Harvard. People don't end sentences with a preposition here.

Englishman: Oh, I see. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at,Β asshole?

Speeding Ticket

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her if he could kindly see her license.

She replied in a huff 'I wish you guys would get your act together, just yesterday you took away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

Kindly joke, Speeding Ticket

Little girl sits crying on a park bench

An kindly old lady stops and asks her what's the matter?

The girl says 'I had six kittens, but my mommy drowned five of them!'

The old lady tries to console her 'That's terrible, dear, but at least you still have one kitten...'

'I know,' replies the girl, 'but she promised I could drown all six.'

People are so sensitive nowadays that you can't say "Could you paint the fence black?"

Now you have to say "Jamal, would you kindly paint the fence?"

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."


Harry prays to God:

Dear lord, please make me win the lottery.

The next day Harry begs the lord again: please God, make me win the lottery!

The next day Harry begs the lord yet again: please, please dear lord, make me win the lottery!

Then suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy yourself a lottery ticket?

Old western stranger

An old man sitting at the edge of an old western town sees a silhouette approaching from the dusty horizon. Its not long before he realizes that it is a 3 legged dog limping toward him. The old man shouts a warning to the dog "we dont take kindly to strangers around here". The 3 legged dog limps like john wayne while slowly raising his gaze up to look straight into the old mans eyes with a piercing stare and says" Im lookin for the man who shot my paw"

A priest notices a little boy down the street

Trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

An English couple is driving through central Canada and realize that they're lost, so they pull over and ask a local which city they're in,

The local kindly replies "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."

The couple says thank you, and leave. "Did you understand that?" The woman asks the man.

"No, he didn't even speak English!"

Ronaldo was so gracious to help Cavani off the pitch

So Cavani kindly returned the favour.

A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Mirror: Kindly move aside. I can't see anything.

My teachers at school were like Gandalf the Grey...

...not kindly and wise and guiding me to wisdom; more standing in front of me, waving a cane and shouting "You shall not pass!"

A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings

"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."

A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said

"Norway"

An old man was walking down the street one day when he observed a small boy struggling to reach the doorbell at one of the houses.

The kindly old man said to the boy, Can I help you with that sonny?

At which point he smiled, placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder whilst pressing the doorbell firmly with his other hand.

There , said the old man, as he stepped back from the door. Now what do we do young man?

We run like hell mister , the boy replied.

I tried eating the whole Taco Bell menu once..

They kindly asked me to get off the counter

There were two Qanon believers who were absolutely convinced that Trump won the 2020 election

They were traveling together and were killed in a traffic accident. When they got to heaven, God met them and told them that he'd reveal anything about Earthly life they'd always wanted to know. They asked him how Biden stole the 2020 election. God looked kindly upon them and said, Biden didn't steal the 2020 election. He won fairly.

The first one looked at the second and said, This goes higher than we thought!

Problems

Husband approaches his wife, Jenny, I think I have a problem.
Jenny smiles at him kindly, Darling, your problems are my problem also. A trouble shared is a trouble halved. Tell me.
OK, says the husband, in that case, we got the neighbor pregnant.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kindly emphatically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kindly kinds of nuts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes