The Best 30 Kindergarten Teacher Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kindergarten Teacher jokes. There are some kindergarten teacher teaching jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kindergarten teacher teacher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kindergarten Teacher Jokes and Puns

Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten

As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.

"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher

'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior

"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages

BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."

"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"

BB looks at her as if she's an idiot

"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"

A kindergarten teacher was observing the children while they drew.

She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork.

As she got to Little Johnny who was working diligently, she asked what his drawing was.

Little Johnny replied, I'm drawing God.

The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from his drawing Little Johnny replied, They will in a minute.

A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...

She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".

Joke provided by my ten year old son.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Darned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked...

her class what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"


It's show and tell day...

In kindergarten class, and its Johnny's turn. He goes up to the board and puts a dot.

"What's that, Johnny?" The teacher asks.
"It's a period," replies Johnny.
"What's so special about a period Johnny?" she asks.
"I have no idea, but my sister missed one, so my dad starting yelling, mom started crying, and the guy next door shot himself."

A little boy wants his toy,

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the little boy wants some juice, so he walks up to his teacher and asks for a juice box. The teacher says "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words. But the teacher gets upset, and calls the little boy's mother and asks her to come in.

When the three of them are sitting in the room together, the teacher asks the mother; "Have you been teaching your son sarcasm?"

"No," the mother says, "Why, what did he do?"

"Well, he asked for a juicebox," said the teacher, "and I asked him to say the magic words, and instead of saying please, he said 'you're thin and you're beautiful.'"

It was at the end of the school year,

and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "

That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

For weeks, Tommy was telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister who was going to be coming to his house soon.

One day at home, Tommy's mother let him feel the baby kicking. Tommy didn't say anything, and he stopped talking about the baby at school. Finally the teacher sat Tommy down and said, "Whatever happened to your new baby sister?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think my mummy ate her!"

A joke from my grandfather

In a kindergarten classroom in Moscow in 1980:

Teacher: The Soviet Union is the heaven where you always have food to fill your stomach and your parents have a job and everyone is happy.

Student named Mikhail: Teacher I want to go to the Soviet Union.

A teacher is teaching her kindergarten class the alphabet.

Teacher: Now, can you tell me the next two letters after M?

Class: NO

You can explore kindergarten teacher curriculum reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kindergarten teacher elementary school dad jokes. There are also kindergarten teacher puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


When I was in kindergarten...

I met a really beautiful girl. We really liked each other. We were constantly kissing and holding hands, even showed our private parts, until one day the teacher came and caught us, needless to say, I got fired.

Childen are playing on a kindergarten playground with their tablets...

...and the teacher is sleeping on a bench. A lady walks by and wakes the teacher up: "Aren't you afraid that the children will run away and get lost?" asks the lady. "I'm not afraid at all," says the teacher, "the WiFi signal covers the playground only."

A math teacher asks a kindergartener: "Tommy, if you have a nickel in one pocket, and a quarter in the other, what do you have?"

"someone else's pants"

Why do kindergarten teachers have bad eyesight?

Because their pupils are small.

The Kindergartener's Question

Johnny walked up to his kindergarten teacher with an inquisitive look in his eyes. "Do you know where the blackβ€”" Johnny asked, to the teacher's retort. "Johnny! Say African-American!"

"Do you know where the African-American construction paper is?"

A teacher confiscates two birds, a dog, and a handgun from a kindergarten student.

Teacher: "What are you doing with these things?!"

Student: "I'm practicing my alphabet."

Teacher: "Bringing animals and a gun to class is no way to learn!"

Student: "Sure it is. I have a beagle, a seagull, a Deagle, and an eagle."

A kindergarten teacher was telling her students about different kinds of animals.

"Whales are the largest" she said, "but they can't swallow people, because their throats are too small."
"But in the Bible, it says that Jonah was swallowed by a whale", said a little girl. "You can't always believe what you read", the teacher replied. "Well, when I go to heaven", said the little girl, " I'll ask Jonah."
"And what if Jonah didn't go to heaven?"
"Then you can ask him."

A boy asks the teacher...

"Can children of kindergarten age have baby if they have sex?"
Teacher says, "No they can't."
The boy turns to girl standing next to him and says, "See, you were scared for no reason at all!"


Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten.

Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?

Teacher : Be silent!!!!!

Bumblebee : umleee

The kindergarten teacher asked her kids what the wanted to be when they grew up

One kid said, "I want to be a fireman!"

One kid said, "I want to be a policeman!"

One kid said, "I want to be possible!"

The teacher asked, "What do you mean you want to be possible?"

The boy said, "Well my mom always says that I'm impossible."

My son in kindergarten had a party a short while ago where we had to dress up as food.....

Everyone was supposed to dress up as a food and parents were also encouraged to come and dress up.

So I decided to go with my son and I put on my cowboy outfit and I went.

There as i was going in a teacher said "Sir, your supposed to be dressed up as a food"

And so I said, " I am. I'm ranch dressing"

I remember my first period...

I was in kindergarten, and while I was writing, my teacher told me to put a little dot at the end of my sentence.

Cop with a bulging gut stands in front of a kindergarten

Teacher approaches, "Are you expecting a child?"

He says, "No, it's beer."

The best part about my work is how my patients can get appendectomies, cesarian sections and even heart surgery free of charge.

I love being a kindergarten teacher.

Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They make little things count

Being told you are hard at work is usually a great compliment...

...but it's the very reason I was fired from being a kindergarten teacher.

If you have trouble speaking in public, imagine your audience in their underwear

Doesn't work too well when you're a kindergarten teacher, though

A young boy asks his teacher if he can go to the bathroom...

Teacher: If you can tell me your ABCs, then you may.

Boy: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, and z.

Teacher: Very good, but where is the P?

Boy: Running down my legs

^old^kindergarten^joke

Kindergarten Teacher

A kindergarten teacher was getting very frustrated with her student

"Stay in the lines. No Billy, you have to stay in the lines!"

Later they were both arrested at a nearby DUI Checkpoint.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kindergarten teacher high school jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kindergarten teacher teachers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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