Kinder Jokes
101 kinder jokes and hilarious kinder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kinder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read through this collection of Kinder-themed jokes and riddles for a dirtier, brighter kind of humor! From Kinder Bueno to Tyske Alle Kinder, there's something for everyone in this assortment of jokes that are sure to put a smile on your face and laughter in your heart.
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Funniest Kinder Short Jokes
Short kinder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kinder humour may include short kids knock jokes also.
- So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder.
- It doesn't matter how kind you think your child is. German children will always be kinder.
- I've traveled the world and met people from many countries. From my experience, American kids are some of the nicest, but German children are kinder
- It doesn't matter how kind you are German children are always Kinder.
- We all know that no matter how kind you are, a German child is kinder But let me tell you something, when they're being brats, they're the wurst!
- German adults are mean German kids are kinder.
- Remember: No matter how kind you are German children are Kinder.
- No matter how nice you are... German children will always be kinder
- Our generation was so much nicer... I know because I grew up in Germany... ...and we were all kinder
- Which dating apps do priests prefer to use? Kinder
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Kinder One Liners
Which kinder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kinder? I can suggest the ones about toddler and little children.
- No matter how kind you are... No matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder.
- No matter how kind you are, German children are always Kinder.
- What do cannibals call pregnant women? Kinder surprise
- Some weird German kid just gave me a gold coin. Thanks for the gold, strange kinder!
- How do you call unexpected pregnancy in German? Kinder Surprise
- what's the best thing about germany? Children are Kinder over there!
- New dating app for German Catholic Priests Kinder
- I've developed an app for dating children nearby. It's called Kinder.
- What is a pregnant woman to a cannibal? Kinder Surprise.
- British kids sure are kind But German kids are kinder
- Which country has the nicest children? Germany.
German children are kinder. - What dating app do priests use? Kinder
- No matter how kind you think you are.... German children are alwasys kinder.
- Our kids are very kind But German kids are kinder
- What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A kinder surprise
Kinder Surprise Jokes
Here is a list of funny kinder surprise jokes and even better kinder surprise puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson. One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy
- The man who invented the Kinder Surprise had died. The pathologist who does his autopsy is in for a treat.
- What do you call an unexpected birth? A Kinder Surprise.
- I asked my wife to bring me a Kinder Surprise when she went to the supermarket... She delivered.
- What do you call it when a Bill Cosby victim gives birth? Kinder Surprise.
- What do they call an unplanned pregnancy in Germany? A kinder surprise
- What do you call it when a white woman who "slept" with Bill Cosby gives birth? Kinder Surprise
- I just got a tinder surprise Oh wait, I read it wrong... it was suppose to say kinder surprise
- What is it called when a German has a tear in his c**... Kinder Surprise
- What do you call a German p**... hiding in the playground bushes? Kinder Surprise!
Kinder Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny kinder egg jokes and even better kinder egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a kinder egg that has gone bad? A meaner egg.
Kinder Bueno Jokes
Here is a list of funny kinder bueno jokes and even better kinder bueno puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend asked me how I was doing with my cold turkey withdrawal from chocolate bars I replied, No kinder bueno.
Comedy Kinder Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about kinder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kinder pranks.
I heard there is a new dating app for paedophiles
Kinder is due to be released shortly!
Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."
A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...
She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.
What is a c**... with a hole?
Kinder Surprise
Have you seen Kindergaten cop?
It was such a good movie, they could easily make one or tumor.
in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date?
the blonde. she's 18.
When I was in kindergarten...
I met a really beautiful girl. We really liked each other. We were constantly kissing and holding hands, even showed our private parts, until one day the teacher came and caught us, needless to say, I got fired.
One of my kindergarten students told me a joke today..
Q: What do you call a police officer wearing a hat?
A: A friend!
This makes no sense as a joke at all BUT still cracked up because of how excited he was to tell me this joke
Why did the kindergartener cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
h**... asks a jewish kid...
h**... wants to hear the dreams of jewish kids. So, he visits Auschwitz and finds one kid sitting in a corner, freezing to death.
"Hallo kinder, what is your dream?"
"Herr h**..., when I grow-"
"IF..IF you grow up."
German people are nice, but...
German children are kinder.
Have you heard of the new dating app for Catholic priests?
It's called "Kinder".
Going through customs at a US airport
Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!
(Sorry if the formatting s**.... On mobile)
What does a hedgehog do at the c**... factory?
Kinder Surprise!
In Germany the grown ups are kind...
...but the children are kinder.
Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven
At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".
Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".
So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.
American children are very mean
In Germany they are Kinder
Have you heard about Tinder for kids?
They're calling it Kinder
Some German kids handed me a bunch of coins I'd never seen before.
Thanks for the strange gold, kinder!
What did the vampire say when he saw a pregnant woman?
Kinder Suprise.
What do you call a dating app for paedophiles
Kinder tinder
Finnish kids are kind
But German kids are kinder
Why did the kindergartner go to jail?
For resisting a rest.
The kindergarten teacher asked her kids what the wanted to be when they grew up
One kid said, "I want to be a fireman!"
One kid said, "I want to be a policeman!"
One kid said, "I want to be possible!"
The teacher asked, "What do you mean you want to be possible?"
The boy said, "Well my mom always says that I'm impossible."
Why do kindergarten teachers have bad eyesight?
Because their pupils are small.
What brand of chocolate is popular with German priests?
Kinder
No matter how generous and caring your children are...
German children are kinder.
I'm thinking of moving my family to Berlin
I hear that in Germany, children are kinder.
You know what they say about German kids?
They're kinder over there
(yoinked from u/vatzhie04, it was too good to resist)
I decided to become a school teacher after moving to Germany.
Kids there are kinder.
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Darned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
Kindergarten Blonde
A blond girl comes home from her first day of kindergarten and says "most of the kids can count to 10, but I can count to 20. Is that because I'm a blond?"
Her mom says"yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The next day the girl comes home and says "today we had to do our ABC's." Most of the kids only got half way, but I knew them all. Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
"Yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The following day the girl comes home and says "we had gym today and I noticed I'm more physically advanced than the others. . Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
Her mom says " no dear. It's because you're 24."
A kindergarten teacher was telling her students about different kinds of animals.
"Whales are the largest" she said, "but they can't s**... people, because their throats are too small."
"But in the Bible, it says that Jonah was swallowed by a whale", said a little girl. "You can't always believe what you read", the teacher replied. "Well, when I go to heaven", said the little girl, " I'll ask Jonah."
"And what if Jonah didn't go to heaven?"
"Then you can ask him."
English children may be kind...
...but German children are Kinder.
No matter how kind you are
German children are Kinder
You may be kind but..
German kids will always be kinder..
A kindergarten teacher was observing the children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork.
As she got to Little Johnny who was working diligently, she asked what his drawing was.
Little Johnny replied, I'm drawing God.
The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from his drawing Little Johnny replied, They will in a minute.
No matter how kind you are...
German kids are kinder
American kids are kind...
But German kids are kinder
French kids are kind..
But German kids are kinder
A kindergartner asks to use the bathroom
Teacher: sing the ABC's, then I'll let you go
Kindergartner: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the P?
Kindergartner: It's running down my pants!
My kindergartner says that her favorite food is the powder at the bottom of the Cheerios bag
I think she's a cereal killer
They say that British kids are kind
But German kids are kinder.
My kindergarten daughter asked me a question,
so I answered her back In confidence with the correct answer. She asked me how I knew that , so I answered her that I knew everything. This infuriated my daughter and she told me there were people out there that knew more than me. I was shocked and told her I didn't know anyone smarter than me. Then she just looked at me and said Then you don't know everything .
True Story
If you think your kids are kind…
don't forget that German kids are always kinder.
