The Best 83 Kinda Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Kinda jokes. There are some kinda kind jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kinda cuddly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Kinda Jokes and Puns
I know global warming is bad
but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout out, DOWN SYNDROME!
It's kinda corny...
What did baby corn say to momma corn?
"Where's pop corn?"
So last night I fell off my balcony...
Instead of falling and getting really badly hurt, I kinda just floated down to the ground... landing without a scratch.
The news spread fast and everyone was wondering how that happened. I was later asked to explain the whole event, but I couldn't. I guess I just didn't get the whole gravity of the situation.
Have you guys heard about the drastic effects of erosion on the Great Pyramids?
Yeah, they're kinda pointless now.
My kinda Dr.
a woman goes to a new gynocologist for the first time, for her annual pap smear. as the dr.is getting everything ready, and the woman is in the usual position, the dr. explains that there will be some discomfort. he then asks if she would like to numb the area first so she is more comfortable. she tells the dr. *yes please* and he then proceeds to bury his face between her legs and says...num num numnum...
I saw some crippled kid getting picked on the other day...
He got kinda upset with me when I told him to stand up for himself.
A woman answers her door...
And a man is standing in the doorway. He says, "lady I'm sorry, but I think I just hit your cat." The lady replies, " oh no, I don't think so, he hardly ever gets out of the house." The man says, "well it came running out of your yard." The woman then asks, "what does it look like?" The man says, "well it looks kinda flat and runny." "No what did it look like before you hit it?". "Surprised. "
A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
Having sex with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat.
Having sex with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat. It feels nice, but you gotta wonder who was there before you.
My mom and I were at church Sunday morning
We left the house in the usual hurry.
We made it to church and I was felling kinda sick.I told my Mom and she says to go out
side the frontdoor and she'd be out to check on me.I was about to spew so I ran towards
the door.A few minutes later I returned to my seat.Mom was surprised to see me back so quickly.
You didn't make it outside ,did you?
Didn't have to Mom ,there was a box by the door that said "for the sick or elderly"
You can explore kinda cuz reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kinda bit dad jokes. There are also kinda puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Friends are like bricks
it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window
The two old-timers...
...were having a chat over the back fence.
"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."
"Why's that, Clem?"
"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."
"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"
Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...
Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.
My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.
She got eaten by a giant crab.
I'm kinda terrified for 2015
2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8.
The EXACT number of nipples Hitler would've had if he had 6 more nipples!
I don't think Flounder I caught today was very happy with me.
He was looking at me kinda sideways.
A man rolls thru a STOP sign and a cop pulls him over
"I pulled you over because you failed to stop at that stop sign. You only slowed down."
"Slow down... stop... what's the difference?"
The cop pulls the man out of his car and begins beating him with his nightstick.
"Now you tell me whether you want me to stop... or slow down."
*This joke was told to me by a police officer, which made it kinda scary.
Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day...
At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, "Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."
A priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi walk into a bar...
The bartender looks up and says: "What is this, some kinda joke?"
What do you call a vegetable that's only kinda cool?
Radish
I met a little boy today.
He was sitting on the curb, dressed in rags. He had his face in his hands and it looked like he was crying.
I felt kinda bad he was all alone, so I went and sat down beside him.
I said, "Are you an orphan, little guy?"
As he looked up, his eyes were still red and his cheeks still wet. He managed to crack a small smile.
"Yeah. What gave me away?"
I leaned in close and whispered,
"Your parents."
Star wars dad joke heard tonight
Dad "Chewbacca seems kinda big for an ewok..."
Me "he's a wookie. "
Dad "he can't be, he's been in lots of movies now."
I once saw an Arab on a flight....
I was kinda shocked when I saw him and looked on him with suspicion. Then he understood what I was thinking and approaching me, he said, "Not all Muslims are terrorists" and we laughed so hard that his grenades fell out of his pocket.
I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer
Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
I kinda want Hillary to win the US election
Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under.
Kinda scared for 2017
Because 2+0+1+7 is 10 - the exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 8 more
What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?
He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.
The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss
It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...
Sex is kinda like pizza...
It tastes better without rubber.
Why don't I like trees?
They look kinda shady to me
A son runs to his dad screaming: "Dad, I think I'm gay!"
The dad says: "And why's that?"
The child replies: "I think that Justin Bieber is kinda hot..."
The dad then says: "That doesn't mean you're gay, you just have a really bad taste in women!"
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only two, but its kinda hard to get em in there.
I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward...
...probably because I wasn't invited...
Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.
Kinda like yo momma.
I like playing chess with bald people in the park
The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them
What's the difference between a gingerbread man and an orange man?
One runs away, the other runs for president.
^^It's ^^kinda ^^my ^^first ^^submission ^^I ^^hope ^^it's ^^ok
I felt kinda sick at the airport earlier...
It could be a terminal illness.
So a man asked a woman " I'll pay you a million dollars to sleep with me" she said "yes" the man then asked "what can I get for a dollar?" She said "what kinda person do you think I am?"
The man replied "that's already been determined. I'm negotiating."
Pooping is kinda like being in a relationship...
It's amazing at first but when it's over you feel empty inside.
You woman gotta' realise, making us sleep on the couch ain't that bad...
It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping. With an angry bear nearby.
Bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest
Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly
Sex, for men, is kinda like pizza...
When it's good, it's REALLY GOOD. And when it's bad... meh it's still pretty good.
Just found this Sub and it made my day.
It was half eaten and tasted kinda funky though.
So I went into Mcdonalds and ordered some fries.
There was a chubby girl working, she seemed busy and kinda stressed out. She informed me the fries are cooking, and will be ready in about 3 minutes. I told her "no problem" and waited for my fries. After a few minutes she brought me my order and said "sorry about the wait" I said "no problem chubby, you're bound to lose it sometime".
Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself.
Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.
I'm kinda like Titanic when it comes to meeting people
Not that great at breaking the ice
The flu is kinda like my last girlfriend
Lasted for 2 weeks and got it from my best friend
I used to hate algae...
But now I'm kinda lichen it
What kinda room has no doors and no windows?
A mushroom.
I've never liked the guy who sang Take On Me...
He always seemed kinda sketchy.
I heard that 1 in every 4 men are gay...
I hope it's Steve. He's kinda cute.
I'm turning 32 in a few months and I'm kinda depressed about it. I only get to celebrate my birthday for half a minute....
It's my thirty second birthday...
I saw Sean Connery build a bookshelf once. He built it wrong and it was kinda crooked. I called him out on it and he told me...
"I'm ashamed of my shelf.
Two friends are talking to each other, and one says to the other,
"I've been kinda worried about you man, you're kinda in a slump right now, you seem kinda depressed."
The other looked at him in a state of shock, and said,
"You're a great friend, but you don't have to worry about me, suicide'll be the last thing I do."
I'm a glass is always half empty kinda guy.
I'm not pessimistic, I'm just a raging alcoholic.
How funny are jokes about communism?
Equally as funny as any other joke.
Lol just spent the last 3 hours kinda piecing this together, hope someone likes it.
So my buddy and I were driving down a country road and see a sheep with it's head stuck in the fence.
Now, like any good ol Montana boy I know a good opportunity when I see it. I pull over and walk up to the sheep and unzip my pants and start giving it to her. I'm really give'n her the boots when I look over and my buddy is jacking off. I mean, he's really beat'n his meat. Kinda freaked out I stop and ask 'ya wanna turn?'. He runs over and sticks his head in the fence.
Got in a fight with frequency today
We've been friends for ages, so it kinda hertz.
Son proudly tells Dad : Dad, I lost my virginity!
Dad : That's my boy! Let's sit down and celebrate this!
Son: I can't sit down it kinda hurts..
I don't get why Clubbing Seals is so controversial?
I mean, I'm kinda curious what sort of music they listen to?
How do ginger people make friends?
I'm being serious, it's getting kinda lonely here.
I wish I could be ugly for one day
Cause being ugly every day is kinda lame
I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together
It's kinda weird, but I think they're just trying to make ends meet
A man is praying to God and asks "God, how is it you created all this in 7 days?"
God replied, "well, you see time is different for you and me. A million years in human time is only a second in time for me. I created everything in 7 days my time, not yours, so the time frame is much greater than interpreted."
"Oh my God, that is ncredible!" the man exclaimed. "So what, like a penny to you is a million dollars for us?"
"Um, yeah, kinda. Something like that...." God says
"Well, in that case, can I just have a penny, God?" The man shoots his shot
"Sure" God agrees, much to the surprise of the man. "Just gimme a second to find it...."
I'm not the kinda guy that takes out a girl and spend $300 and think that she owes me sex.
That's cause I don't think sex is worth $300.
If I take out a girl and spend $300 on a date then she owes me money.
I don't like the new guy my neighbor has
He's awful if you ask me. Looks alone. Kinda short and barely any hair. Then he's lying in bed all day, and if he's not sleeping he's screaming at her. Also hitting the bottle quite heavily and probably didn't work a single day in his whole life.
I really can't figure out what people see in babies.
Reddit is kinda like Instagram, I hate to say
Nobody cares unless you show your cake
I was taking a shit, when it hit me...
Kinda sucks, being an astronaut.
I can't remember if I had a Dalmatian or leopard when I was a kid.
Either way, my memory of my pet is kinda spotty.
After 10years a wife started to think their child looks kinda strange so she did a DNA test and found out the child is not theirs, she told her husband what she found out.
The husband replied, you don't remember do you? When we were leaving the hospital the baby pooped and you told me to go and change him so I went inside got a clean one and left the dirty one there.
Sex is kinda like hide n seek
I close my eyes, count to 10 and yell ready or not here I come!
Two drunks stumble out of a bar
... and see this rough looking big dog sitting outside of the bar and licking his balls.
Drunk 1: "Man! I wish I could do that!"
Drunk 2: "Dunno, Bob... He looks kinda mean. I'd try petting him first"
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome...
It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
What's a kinda cool vegetable?
A RADISH
so there's two guys drinking, right?
And the first guy noticed the second guy was wearing an "I survived cancer, and all I got was this shirt" shirt
And he was like "oh, I didnt know you lived through cancer"
And the second guy said "oh, well I didnt, my brother gave it to me"
And the first guy responded to this, with "oh, well thats kinda weird for you to wear it then. Tell your brother he did a good job at it I guess"
And the second guy sighed, and looked at the first guy, and said "well, dont worry about it, he didn't either."
You know, I kinda feel sorry for kids of gay people
They either get twice the number of yo mamma jokes, or twice the number of dads leaving to buy milk.
I could feel an exam in my stomach ....
It was kinda quizzy
I once dated a girl with twelve nipples, sounds kinda weird...
Dozen tit?
Doc and Marty mcfly find a mysterious bottle of purple liquor.
Marty opens it and takes a whiff. "Smells kinda like wine, Doc"
Doc grabs the bottle, exclaiming "I don't think it's wine, Marty". Doc takes a sip and spits it into Marty's face. "Grape Scotch!?"
I overheard some people talking about the english language.
I decided to put in my two cents worth. One said that the English language is confusing. "It's," I agreed. The other said, "Oh yeah? Have you had an education on it?" "I've," I responded. "So what? You some kinda english wizard or something?" I responded simply, "Some would say: I'm."
I have a joke about stale bread
Unfortunately it's kinda crumby
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kinda admittedly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working kinda pineapple piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.