Kim Kardashian Jokes
98 kim kardashian jokes and hilarious kim kardashian puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about kim kardashian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kim Kardashian Short Jokes
Short kim kardashian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kim kardashian humour may include short kanye west jokes also.
- How did Kim Kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye? North, things between West and I have gone South.
- I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim. The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... - What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.
- What do Kim Kardashian and hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
- What do Kim Kardashian and a police siren have in common? They get turned on when black guys are around.
- Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common? Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.
- Why did Donald Trump invite Kim Kardashian to talk about prison reform? Because she's had more black dudes in her than a jail.
- [All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish.
- When Kim Kardashian dies... Will she be put in a grave or melted along with the rest of the plastic?
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Kim Kardashian One Liners
Which kim kardashian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kim kardashian? I can suggest the ones about kylie and kim il.
- How did kanye west ask Kim Kardashian to marry him ?? "will i marry you?"
- Kim Kardashian, pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar. They set it lower.
- What do you call Kim Kardashian's cleavage? The silicon valley
- How does Kanye make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle? He shines a flashlight in her ear.
- Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner? Because she was trans-parent.
- How is Kim Kardashian similar to dough? Both are very kneady.
Also yeast, lots of yeast. - I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices, but they've all been done.
- Kim Kardashian as First Lady
- What do Kim Kardashian and drug smugglers have in common? False bottoms
- If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled. - Kim Kardashian is so plastic You can recycle her when she dies...
- "If you work hard, you can break barriers." - Kim Kardashian West (genuine quote)
- What do you call Kim Kardashian when she is taking a bath? A Showerthot.
- Lady Gaga vs Kim Kardashian ok what more do you expect me to say ?
- What did the Los Angeles Lakers finish on tuesday? Kim Kardashian's chest.
Cheerful Fun Kim Kardashian Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about kim kardashian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kim jung jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kim kardashian pranks.
Where did Kim Kardashian go after her wedding?
She went to get a divorce
What do Kim Kardashian, Keira Knightley, and Kevin Kline have in common?
Can be added to a smoothie.
What do Kim Kardashian and One Direction have in common?
North.
I wanna be that one kid who....
shows Kim Kardashians kid her sextape
What is Kim Kardashian's favorite hockey team?
The Chicago Blackhawks
So far, more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola.
And the Ebola victims suffered less.
What did Kanye West tell Kim Kardashian when she was constipated?
"How could you be so fartless?"
There are more Americans that have married Kim Kardashian than the number of Americans with Ebola.
Has Kim Kardashian Broken The Internet?
I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian has actually managed to 'break the internet', but she's certainly put a big crack in it!
What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?
Look at all that ash...
How did Kim Kardashian break the net?
She sat on it.
The Internet at my school went out today
Looks like Kim Kardashian finally achieved her goal
What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?
One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.
(Just for fun) Suppose Kim Kardashian and Kim Jong Un get married what would they name their child?
Kim Jordash Un?
What did the Jew say to Kim Kardashian's b**...?
"Isreal?"
What is Kim Kardashian's favorite s**... position?
On camera.
Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*.
After seeing the Kim Kardashian cover of Paper Magazine, Sir Mix-a-lot, reportedly tipped his hat, muttered that his work here was done and rocketed into space to return to his home planet
Uranus...
I saw someone litter a picture of Kim Kardashian.
What a waist!
Kim Kardashian is a big fan of Einstein
After she discovered he invented reality tv
What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian?
Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.
What's Kim Kardashians favorite baseball match up?
Rays vs Jays
Kanye West becomes the President
And Kim Kardashian becomes the First Lady
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now parents of a baby boy.
What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?
They both got famous for getting a black man off.
What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash?
w**... occasionally get inside a colored wash.
What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?
They're both made up.
Robert Kardashian taught Kim an important lesson.
You can become famous if you help a black guy get off.
Kim Kardashian arrives in India for the first time, she walks out of the airport, and to her surprise, everyone on the streets stops, turns towards her, and kneels in humility and reverence
Little did she know, they worship cows over there!
When Kim Kardashian is off camera she is helping little homeless kids.
Too bad she is always on camera.
Who would win in a race: Kim or Putin?
I dunno, really, cause one of them is Kar-Dashian and the other is Russian.
Kim Kardashian...
Kim Kardashian was kidnapped and held at gun point, it took some time but they finally got a few million dollars together to get rid of her....
Kim Kardashian getting 6 million dollars stolen is a lot like if I got the c**... that's been in my wallet since I was 12 stolen...
Am I gonna miss it? Yeah.
Was I gonna use it? No.
Big Bossman says
'Zis is not what I meant when I said I wanted to smash Kim Kardashian's ring.'
If Kim Kardashian is in a car accident...
Kim carcrashidan
It's finals week and it's okay if you're gonna fail a course or two
Because you'll still have a more successful career than Kim Kardashian's marriage
What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common?
They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)
What does a t**... say when about to kill Kim Kardashian's Husband?
Death to the West!
(Sorry if this is a repost, if so I'll remove it)
What kind of horse does Kim kardashian ride?
Ka-Neigh
What does Kim Kardashian use to fix holes?
s**...-Tape
Richard Spencer is the Kim Kardashian of the alt-right...
I have no idea why he's famous and I only know his name because some dude pounded him on video.
What does Kim Kardashian say when she's having fun?
Kan-yay!
What does Tom Brady and Kim Kardashian have in common?
They are both famous for their comebacks.
What's the difference between Los Angeles and Kim Kardashian?
One is a dirty, washed-up place many great men have visited. The other one is a city in California.
Why is it so wrong that Kim Kardashian is the most photographed woman on the internet?
Because the end never justifies the memes.
Today at Costco...
I bought a Kim Kardashian amount of toilet paper
How did the white supremacist acknowledge Kim Kardashian?
"'Kay, KK."
How does Kim Kardashian ask her husband to do stuff?
Kanye?
Kim Joung Un is making a phone call, and says,
-Hi, Donald, this is Kim! No, not Kardashian!
What do you call an accidental celebrity?
Kim Kardashian
What does Kim Kardashian and the word "however" have in common?
They are just a fancy but.
What's so common between Kim Kardashian and a black hole?
They both s**....
I saw Kim Kardashian walk into the Subway I work at, order five sandwiches, and walk back out holding all of them. I wasn't surprised.
It's not the first time she's taken several footlongs at once.
What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and the moon?
You actually have to put in some effort to see the moon's backside.
Why isn't Kim Kardashian allowed to swim on the beach?
Because there is already enough plastic in the ocean.
What did the media say about Kim Kardashian swimming
There's too much plastic in our oceans.
What do Phil Swift and Kim Kardashian have in common?
They're only famous because of a tape.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are divorcing.
After naming their kids after directions they're the ones going south.
How did Kim Kardashian explain to her daughter the reason why Kanye is acting this way?
North, my relationship with West has gone totally South.
