Kim Jong Jokes
136 kim jong jokes and hilarious kim jong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kim jong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kim Jong Short Jokes
Short kim jong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kim jong humour may include short kim il jokes also.
- They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
- What's the difference between Kim jong un and dominoes ? Dominoes can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in less than 30 minutes
- So Kim Jong Un is apparently in a coma... ...Which is weird, because I thought his dad was the Il one.
- BREAKING: North korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
- When Kim Jong-Un met Donald Trump some questioned whether he could actually speak English It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
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Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?
Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas. - What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un? Kim Jong Un has control over his country.
- I've just sold some glass rocket to Kim Jong Un. I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons.
- North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder... ...Is Kim Jong ill?
- Kim Jong Un walked into a bar The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump
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Kim Jong One Liners
Which kim jong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kim jong? I can suggest the ones about leader kim and kim jung.
- What did Kim Jong-Un say yesterday before he died? My Korea is over
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
- Why is Kim Jong-un so bad? He has no Seoul
- I don't get how a member of the Kim Jong family dies randomly He wasn't even Il
- What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle? The Dear Reader.
- Why is Kim Jong-un so evil? He doesn't have a Seoul
- Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
- What's the most hated vegetable in the world? Kim Jong un
- Why is Kim Jong-un so violent? Because he doesn't have a Seoul.
- What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis? Nuclear division.
- There are multiple reports claiming that Kim Jong-Un is dead. Another Un bites the dust.
- What does Kim Jong-un have in common with gingers? No Seoul.
- Why is Kim Jong-Un such a good gardener? Cause he's the supreme weeder.
- Kim Jong Un is currently.. The Shrodingers cat of dictators.
- Kim Jong Un claims to have golfed 38 under par... ...But his story is full of holes.
Kim Jong Un Jokes
Here is a list of funny kim jong un jokes and even better kim jong un puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why didn't Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed? Because the news was unbereaveable.
- Breaking news, as Kim Jong-Un's nuclear missiles have reached the USA! Fortunately, the stamps were recognised and they were sent back
- There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
- What do Schrodinger's cat and Kim Jong-un have in common? They're both alive and dead until you see them!
- Why did Kim Jong Un Instagram his missile? It was the only way he could send it.
- Did you hear about the surgeon who botched Kim Jong Un surgery? Yeah, me neither.
- Who will be Kim Jong-Un's successor? Kim Jong-Deux
- Kim Jong-Un isn't ill... ...that was his dad
- Kim Jong-un read War and Peace in a day. At least I think that's why they call him Supreme Reader.
- Kim Jon Un is reported to be sick. He is now Kim Jong Ill.
Kim Jong Il Jokes
Here is a list of funny kim jong il jokes and even better kim jong il puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kim Jong-Il found alive He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea.
- Kim Jong il is dead? I guess that's the end of HIS Korea.
- How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography? "Dear Reader"
- What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today? Scratching at the lid of his coffin.
- Do you know how Kim Jong Un's father died? He was very il
- According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest. Ta-da!
- What is Kim Jong-il's favourite pizza? Supreme
- Kim Jong-il became Kim jong-ded Now Kim Jong-Un with his wife who has vanished from public since 7 months, might be having a Kim Yung-Un
- Why did Kim Jong Un's father go to hospital? He was Kim Jong Il
- How does Kim Jong-il greet his guests? "It's oppressor to meet you"
Kim Jong Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about kim jong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dictator kim jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kim jong pranks.
Kim Jong Un decided to send donald trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.
Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.
They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un jump off a cliff. Who wins?
Mankind
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.
It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors: North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!
His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:
How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!
Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:
What an idiot! We can send them at night!
His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:
What an idiot!…
There is no sun at night!
Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.
During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Sun Mission
Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!
A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"
There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react. Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered "We will land at night". The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !
Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered - "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !"
Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!
DPRK sends astronaut to the sun
Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:
North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!
His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:
How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!
Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:
What an idiot! We can send them at night!
His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:
What an idiot!…
There is no sun at night!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is Kim Jong UN so bent on nuking the world?
He has no Seoul
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whenever I see Americans make fun of Kim Jong-un, I think to myself
Come on, you're bigger than that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
o**..., Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong Il?
Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year.
I hear North Korea is coming out with some new cloning technology...
I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.
If Kim JongUn gets a son...
Does that mean his sons' name will be Kim jondeux?
What would Kim Jong Un call his children?
His young'uns
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it?
Last Names
A North Korean go to Poland...
Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.
He meet a farmer that ask him :
"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)
And Kim reply :
"No, Kim Jong Un."
What do you call a Kim jong un clone ?
kim jong dos
Trump, Putin, and Kim Jong Un are walking through the jungle
They all trip and fall into a pit of quicksand. A sign next to the pit reads, "the more you lie, the faster you sink." Kim Jong Un is up to his neck, and Putin is at his waist. Trump appears to be perfectly calm and not sinking at all. Putin asks how this is possible. Trump replies, "I'll be alright. I'm standing on Sean Spicer."
Kim Jong Un recently banned the blues scale...
He hates Seoul music
Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk
Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer
What did the doctor say after Kim Jong Un died ?
Kim Jong Un-responsive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I guess Kim Jong-un is just like his father now
He's become Kim Jong-ill
What weighs 20 times a North Korean?
Kim Jong Un.
"The Interview" Joke
Kim Jong Un walks past a movie theater and sees a movie poster for "The Interview."
He says "I wouldn't be caught dead in that."
What do Kim Jong-Un and Bok Choy have in common?
Both are Korean vegetables
Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music?
Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz
How is the United States and frozen food the same?
Kim Jong Un doesn't have the technology to nuke either of them.
News headline indicates there's been a zombie outbreak in North Korea
Headline: Kim Jong, Un-Dead
Kim Jong Un released a statement today
I don't know what it said it must've been morse code, all it said was *beep* *beep* *beep* *beeeeeep*
What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?
Kim Jong Uno
I just saw a picture of Kim Jong-un wearing glasses
He looks like a supreme reader.
Western tourist in North Korea
So a western journalist goes on a tour of North Korea. He flies in to Pyongyang, an officially government licensed tour guide shows him around. He sees all the wonderful stores and streets that the city has to offer, and then finally he comes to the magnificent 30-story tall Kim Jong Un monument.
"Wow this is very beautiful, you must be very proud of it!" he said
his tour guide nodded— "yes, we must be very proud."
I much prefer Kim Jong Un to Donald Trump
One of them was a businessman for most of his life, while the other has been a politician for his whole Korea!
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They say Kim Jong Un is heartless and a m**......
It's because he has no Seoul
What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?
Fearless Reader
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Kim Jong-Un has reportedly made a public appearance after opening a fertiliser factory.
I smell b**....
I wonder what happened to Kim Jong Un
Maybe he's Un-responsive
Kim Jong un would be great at call of duty
If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak
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I messed up while sexting with Kim Jong Un.
"Send Nukes"
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If the United States is serious about stopping Kim Jong Un
Just send in Cam Newton - he'll overthrow Kim.