The Best 87 Kim Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kim jokes. There are some kim eun jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kim wook puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kim Jokes and Puns

What did Kim Jong-Un say yesterday before he died?

My Korea is over

How did Kim Kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye?

North, things between West and I have gone South.

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.

Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:

"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."

Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"

The student replies "An orphan."

They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book

That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader


Kim and Kanye's divorce is rough on their son, North West.

It's like he's getting pulled in two different directions.

I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim.

The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.

Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un?

because they remember what the last fat man did to them

How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint?

She released the video on pornhub.

(Too soon?)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

How did Kanye West ask Kim Kardashian to marry him ??

"will i marry you?"

You can explore kim tae reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kim kimchi dad jokes. There are also kim puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why does Kim Jong Un love books?

Because he is the Supreme Reader.

What's the difference between Kim jong un and dominoes ?

Dominoes can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in less than 30 minutes

Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him?

A glorious reader.

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"

The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.

Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want...

But that child is going straight to the top...

And slightly to the left...

So Kim Jong Un is apparently in a coma...

...Which is weird, because I thought his dad was the Il one.

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written...

That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.


BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.

They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.

Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un jump off a cliff. Who wins?

Mankind

Why is Kim Jong-un so bad?

He has no Seoul

I don't get how a member of the Kim Jong family dies randomly

He wasn't even Il

When Kim Jong-Un met Donald Trump some questioned whether he could actually speak English

It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says I will destroy America...

Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.


Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?



Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

What do Kim Kardashian and a police siren have in common?

They get turned on when black guys are around.

After hearing Kim and Kanye are having a kid via in vitro fertilization...

Of course Kanye picked the option where he could have sex with himself and still have a kid.

What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

Why is Kim Jong-un so evil?

He doesn't have a Seoul

You know who gives kids a bad name?

Kim and Kanye, for one.

Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.

It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.

Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless?

He doesn't have a Seoul.

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

What's the most hated vegetable in the world?

Kim Jong un

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Why is Kim Jong-un so violent?

Because he doesn't have a Seoul.

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

I've just sold some glass rockets to Kim Jong Un.

I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons.

What did Kim Jon Un say when his father died?

Looks like his Korea is over

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

Why does Kim Jong Un have such a big library?

Because he's Supreme Reader

North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

If Kim Jong Un was a girl...

Send nukes

Why is Kim Jong-un so smart?

Because he is Supreme Reader

What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?

Nuclear division.

There are multiple reports claiming that Kim Jong-Un is dead.

Another Un bites the dust.

Who will replace Kim Jon Un after he dies

Kim Jon dos

What does Kanye West and North Korea have in common?

They both are getting screwed by Kim

Why did Donald Trump invite Kim Kardashian to talk about prison reform?

Because she's had more black dudes in her than a jail.

What font does alphabet soup use?

Times New Ramen.



*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*

Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors: North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival...

"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney...

The only KKK black men are allowed into

How much soda does Kim Jung Un drink in a day?

A Supreme Liter.

What has a bunch of K's and is hated?

Kim Kylie Khloe Kendall kourtney kris Kanye

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."

Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.

Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.

Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"

Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

Kim Kardashian, Pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar.

They set it lower.

What is Kim Jong-Un's favorite beverage size?

A supreme liter.

The Sun Mission

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react. Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered "We will land at night". The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !

Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered - "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !"

Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!

Why is Kim Jung Un so upset?

because he has no Seoul

DPRK sends astronaut to the sun

Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:

North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

I just read an article in the news that Kim Jong Un reads more than 1,000 books a year...

I guess that's why they call him the Supreme Reader.

[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby...

At least she let him finish.

Why is Kim Jong UN so bent on nuking the world?

He has no Seoul

What do Kanye West and North Korea have in common?

They are both being screwed by a person named Kim.

Kim Jong Un walked into a bar

The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump

Everyone is going crazy over that Kim and Kanye named their baby "North West" I believe she's going straight to the top...

And slightly to the left

If you are having trouble being the only fat person in your class...

Just remember that Kim Jong-un is the only fat person in his country.

Whenever I see Americans make fun of Kim Jong-un, I think to myself

Come on, you're bigger than that.

Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel?

He has no Seoul.

When Kim Kardashian dies...

Will she be put in a grave or melted along with the rest of the plastic?

Why didn't Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed?

Because the news was unbereaveable.

Has Kim Kardashian Broken The Internet?

I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian has actually managed to 'break the internet', but she's certainly put a big crack in it!

What does Kim Jong-un have in common with gingers?

No Seoul.

Did you know that Kim Jong Un has read every book in existance?

Thats why they call him the Supreme Reader

Why isn't North Korea democratic?

Because Kim Jung Un doesn't want a public erection

Why is Kim Jong-Un such a good gardener?

Cause he's the supreme weeder.

What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)

Why is Kim Jung Un so fat?

Because he never had to run for office

Kim Jong Un is currently..

The Shrodingers cat of dictators.

Why does Kim Jong-un have such a huge library?

He is Supreme Reader

Osama, Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong Il?

Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kim kanye jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kim duterte piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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