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Kilts Jokes

33 kilts jokes and hilarious kilts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kilts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Kilts Short Jokes

Short kilts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kilts humour may include short scottish kilt jokes also.

  1. Asked a Scottish man today why they wear those skirts He replied 'the last guy that called it skirt, got kilt'
  2. A woman put her hand up a Scotsman's kilt and squealed - "It's gruesome" The Scotsman replied- "put your hand up there again and it'll gruesome more"
  3. Why are Scots the toughest guys in the world? They wear kilts in a country where thistles grow waist-high.
  4. What do the Scottish people wear kilts? Because sheep can hear the sound of zippers from far away.
  5. Scots vs English Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards.
    Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf.
  6. Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
    The sheep in the field learned to run when they heard a zipper...
  7. Why is it called a kilt? Because that's what they did to the last guy that made fun of them.
  8. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
    Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.
  9. Why do the Scottish wear kilts The sheep can hear zippers miles away
  10. My phone autocorrected "killed" to "kilt"... Well plaid, phone... Well plaid.

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Kilts One Liners

Which kilts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kilts? I can suggest the ones about scotsman kilt and wear skirts.

  1. Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
  2. My phone just replaced the word "killed" with "kilt." Well plaid, phone... Well plaid.
  3. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from 100 meters away.
  4. Why do Scottsmen wear kilts? Because otherwise the sheep would hear the zipper.
  5. What's the only acceptable thing for a Scotsman to wear under his kilt? Lipstick
  6. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers a mile off.
  7. Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt.
  8. Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
  9. What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A hopscotch
  10. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? ...because sheep run at the sound of a zipper
  11. Why to Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away...
  12. What does robbing a Scotsman get you? Kilt
  13. What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? If it's a good day lipstick
  14. Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a kilometer away.
  15. Why do the Scots wear kilts? Sheep run away when they hear a zipper.

Kilts joke, Why do the Scots wear kilts?

The Funniest Kilts Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about kilts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bagpipes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kilts pranks.

A journalist is writing an article about the trend for Scottish men to wear tights under their kilts

She walks up to an old man on the streets of Glasgow and asks 'excuse me, do you ever wear a kilt?'
'Aye, about once a week or so you'll catch me in a kilt.'
'Well when you wear a kilt, do you wear tights underneath?'
'Aye, every time I've worn a kilt for the past three years I make sure to put on tights.'
'I see, why did you only start doing that three years ago?'
'Well lass, was about three years ago that my wife found a pair of tights in the back of my car.'

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear the sound of a fly being undone.
(Recycled the joke from Mordecai Richler's "Barney's Version". It's a very good read with lots of content to laugh at if you have the time)

Why do New zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

Kilts joke, Why do New <a href="/zealand-jokes.html" title="Zealand jokes">zealand</a> farmers now wear kilts?