Kilos Jokes
27 kilos jokes and hilarious kilos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kilos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kilos Short Jokes
Short kilos jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kilos humour may include short kilograms jokes also.
- A man walks into a grocery store. Asks for a pound of tomatoes.
The grocer says, "we call them kilos over here."
The man replies "fine, a pound of kilos then." - My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta.. ..but I say it was worth every penne.
- A man walks into a grocery store and says, "Three pounds of potatoes, please." The cashier responds, "Sorry, we only sell kilos now."
"Ah, too bad. Three pounds of kilos, then." - Why do blonde change her baby's diapers once in a week? Because the package says "up to 10 kilos".
- After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds. Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo.
- I wanted to get in shape so I thought I'd try a British gym... I gained 5 kilos and lost 70 pounds
- "Honey, wouldn't you like to go back to the 60s?" "Of course not! I like today's technology too much."
"But honey I'm talking about kilos you fat cow" - What do you call it when 2 people argue wheather kilos or pounds are better Mutual mass debation
- Did you guys know that my son is a really big star? Yup, he's 1.989 x 10^30 kilos and has a diameter of 1.4 million kilometers.
- What is black, white, and gray, has feathers, and weighs almost four and a half pounds? Two-kilo mockingbird.
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Kilos One Liners
Which kilos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kilos? I can suggest the ones about kilometers and pounds.
- What do you call a mockingbird that weighs 2,000 grams? 2 kilo mockingbird
- How much does a million kilos of evangelism weigh? A Billigraham
- What do you call 2000 of Harper E. Lee's favorite birds? Two kilo-mockingbirds
- how to lose 75 kilos of pure fat ? Divorce
- New Charlie Sheen and lindsay lohan TV show. Two and a half kilos.
- want to know my sure fire way to loose ten kilos? move to venezuela
- Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters.
- Yo momma is so fat that when she plays shooters she doesn't get kills She gets kilos.
- What was Pablo Escobar's favorite book? Two kilo mockingbird.
- To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female…
- My friend was caught with a kilo of w**... in Saudi Arabia. He was s**....
- How many kilos of m**... do you need to kill a guinea pig?
- How much is the price of s**... in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo.
Hilarious Kilos Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about kilos you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean miles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kilos pranks.
A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic.
The chemist says, "That's very dangerous, what do you want it for?"
Wife replies, "I'm giving it to my husband. He had an affair"
Chemist says, "Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that"
Wife goes into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband.....having s**... with the chemist's wife.
"Oh, that's different. I didnt realise you had a prescription"
Years ago you could enter a grocery store with 25 dollars
and walk out with several kilos of fruits, a loaf of bread meat, cheese, milk and much more.
Nowadays, there are surveillance cameras everywhere.
There are fuckups, there are royal fuckups, and then there was NASA crashing a spaceship because they confused pounds and kilos.
That was an *Imperial* f**....
If you came across 10 kilos of c**... in the back of a rental car, what would you do?
c**...
my grandpa tells us about his good old days in Hong Kong
He said, "when I was your age, I can go into the groceries with 10 dollars, and come out with 2 loaves of bread, 2 dozen of eggs, 2 kilos of potatoes, maybe a few cans of soda, plus handful of candies and probably some beef jerky."
We were like, "o**...!!! That's a lot!! 10 dollars now can only get us 2 soda!! The inflation is insane!!"
And then he was like,
"Nah!! Just there are far more CCTV these days!"
The price of lumber has gone up so much...
That the Feds confiscated a load of 2x4's buried in kilos of c**....
