Kilometers Jokes
25 kilometers jokes and hilarious kilometers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kilometers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kilometers Short Jokes
Short kilometers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kilometers humour may include short kilograms jokes also.
- My wife asked me for a divorce today, citing that I was too "un-American". I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
- Eminem's "8 Mile" wasn't very well received in Canada I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.
- Before you judge somebody who doesn't use the metric system... You should walk 1.609344 kilometers in their shoes.
- Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe? 1.60934 Kilometers Davis
joke courtesy of Stephen Wright - What is Miles Morales called outside of the U.S., Liberia, and Myanmar? Kilometers Morales
- Getting back together with your ex is like rebuying your own old car... ...same defects and more kilometers on board.
- I'm really high right now. I'm cruising about 3 kilometers above the ground, all the way to japan.
- Did you guys know that my son is a really big star? Yup, he's 1.989 x 10^30 kilos and has a diameter of 1.4 million kilometers.
- I once was hiking with my younger sister, after 10 kilometers she stops and says: I can't feel my legs anymore. So I said: So we can continue since you don't feel anything bad?
- You must keep in shape.
My grandmother started walking five kilometers when she was 60 and now she's 97, and we don't have a clue where she is!
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Kilometers One Liners
Which kilometers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kilometers? I can suggest the ones about metres and kilos.
- I have a friend named miles But he moved to Europe so now he goes by Kilometers.
- Do you know who is the writer that spends less gas per kilometer? Umberto Eco
- Day 2: Iran Morroco It was about 2018 kilometers
- Miles Davis Is 1,6 times longer than his European cousin Kilometers Davis
- America could never switch to the metric system. Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?
- If there is more then one gender, then I identify as a Kilometer Cause I wanna kms.
- Why do some Americans call their kid Miles? Like, i'm not calling my kid kilometer
- went to europe once for a miles davis concert --sorry, i meant kilometers davis...
- I s**... indentify as kilometers per second Because I want to km/s
Howlingly Hilarious Kilometers Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about kilometers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean centimeters jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kilometers pranks.
The secret to a long life.
Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you you a secret.
I've been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
I've been walking 5 kilometers everyday for 75 years!
Everyone asked again: But how come your wife's very healthy as well?
The old man answered: I'll tell you another secret: she'd been following me to make sure I really finish the 5 kilometers!
A couple got into an argument...
A couple got into an argument while on a drive through the countryside. It got quite heated and neither of the two wanted to concede, so they sat in silence for several kilometers.
As they passed a farm full of pigs bathing in mud, the wife spoke up and said:
"Relatives of yours?"
The man replied:
"In-laws."
A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'
That would be straight down, Miss........
Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98 year old wife for their health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you my secret.
I've been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
So I've been walking 5 kilometers every day for past 75 years!
Everyone applauded and asked again:
But how come your wife is very healthy as well?
The old man answered: That is another secret. For 75 years every single day She has been following me to make sure I really walk the full 5 Kilometers!
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped on an island 1000 kilometers from shore, and the only way to get back is to swim.
The brunette goes 200 kilometers, gets tired, and drowns.
The redhead goes 650 kilometers, gets tired, and also drowns.
Then the blonde gets to 999 kilometers, gets tired, turns around and swims back.
Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you you a secret. I've been married for 75 years.
Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers. I've been walking 5 kilometers everyday for 75 years!
Everyone asked again: But how come your wife's very healthy as well?
The old man answered: I'll tell you another secret: she'd been following me to make sure I really finish the 5 kilometers!
I had a student named Miles in my 5th grade class who moved to JAPAN. Had to change his name to Kilometers.
Slight adjustment to an originally hilarious joke that was shunned on a technicality. #IwasOnlyJoking
