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Kilograms Jokes

28 kilograms jokes and hilarious kilograms puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kilograms that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Kilograms Short Jokes

Short kilograms jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kilograms humour may include short kilos jokes also.

  1. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
  2. Imagine if the rest of the world changed from Kilograms to Pounds overnight There would be a mass confusion
  3. Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight. That would cause mass confusion.
  4. What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia? In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.
  5. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.

    " I lost 75 OVERNIGHT because of this ONE SIMPLE TRICK! ."
  6. What would happen if the United States were to switch from Pounds to Kilograms over night? *A Mass Confusion*
  7. A science teacher was teaching his students how to convert from pounds to kilograms. There was mass confusion in the classroom.
  8. Some man started a factory that made 1-kilogram weights in 1620. It was the first recorded example of mass production.
  9. Anyone want to weigh in? If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, would it create mass confusion?
  10. What is heavier? A kilogram of rocks or a kilogram of feathers? Apparently, not even scientists are sure about it these days...

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Kilograms One Liners

Which kilograms one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kilograms? I can suggest the ones about centimeters and pounds.

  1. What do you call a kilogram of donuts . Property of obesity
  2. What do you call a death threat sent by telegram? A kilogram!
  3. Imagine the US switched to the metric system. Everyone would be kilogramming your mom.
  4. What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140? Convert to kilograms.
  5. A 900 kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today. Reports say he was squashed.
  6. What is the ideal weight of your mother in law? 6 kilograms urn included.
  7. What happens if America switches from pounds to kilograms overnight? A mass confusion.
  8. How much does a bomb weigh if you put it in the mail? A kilogram.
  9. If the US switched from pounds to kilograms... It would cause mass confusion.
  10. Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
  11. How do you make a kilogram of fat appealing? Put a n**... on it
  12. How do you become a mass m**...? Kilogram.

Kilograms joke, How do you become a mass m**...?

Hilarious Fun Kilograms Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about kilograms you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean metres jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kilograms pranks.

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of c**...."

"10 kilograms you say?"
"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

A guy goes into a grocery store.

He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper:
"What are those?"
"Those are potatoes"
"Can I have a kilo of potatoes individually wrapped?"
The store keeper shakes his head and start wrapping potatoes.
"What are those?"
"Those are plums..."
"Can I have a kilogram of plums all individually wrapped?"
The store keeper cusses under his breath and starts packing plums.
"... and what are those?!
"Those are poppy seeds and they are NOT for sale!"

- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…

\- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…
\- Son, don't panic, it's only 2 kilograms, no big deal.
\- Well, there are some Colombians who'd disagree with you mom…

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

A guy approaches a girl at a bar:

"How heavy is a polar bear?" The guy says
"oh ive heard this one, heavy enough to break the ice" the girl smugly answers
"Thats s**..., it lives on ice you m**.... A fully grown polar bear is about 450 kilograms.

I was in London last summer

I was in London last summer, and I got food poisoning. I lost 6 kilograms. See a lot of Americans don't understand that because it's metric. But I did the math, and 6 kilograms is over $720,000 in c**....

Kilograms joke, I was in London last summer