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Kids Train Jokes

29 kids train jokes and hilarious kids train puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids train that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Kids Train Short Jokes

Short kids train jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids train humour may include short kids knock jokes also.

  1. I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids. I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.
  2. It's the year 2295... Dude: I'm a classically trained guitarist.
    Neo-90s Kid: Radical!
    Dude: So anyway, here's Wonderwall.
  3. Netflix announced another karate kid spinoff, this time the dojo trains insufferable whiney entitled children. It's called cobra Caillou.
  4. I always tell my kids to stay well clear of any Train tracks... ...except "Drops of Jupiter". That one's ok.
  5. DAD JOKE!! Oh look kids, a train just passed here.
    Gee dad how can you tell that?
    Well look, you can see it's tracks!!!
  6. Pulled a gyspy girl last night, she asked if i wanted to go back to hers for a good time She wasn't kidding, I went on the dodgems, waltzers, ghost train and came home with a goldfish
  7. A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!
  8. As a kid I could never understand why my mother would not let me play near the train tracks across the street from my house. Then it hit me.
  9. How are toy trains similar to b**...? Both are made for kids but dad is the one who gets the most out of them
  10. What do toy trains and b**... have in common? They're both made for kids but daddies get to play with em.

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Kids Train One Liners

Which kids train one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids train? I can suggest the ones about kids animal and school children.

  1. What do you call pushing your kid out of a moving train? Child Caboose
  2. Why are trains so chill with where their kids are? They can simply 'track' them.
  3. How does the karate kid train with his girlfriend? Wax on, fap off.
  4. As a kid I always wanted to be a conductor ... Now I think it requires too much training.
  5. Super soakers are like training wheels for black kids in the hood.
  6. What do you call a Kid that is p**... trained by 3 months old? a w**... kid

Comical Kids Train Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about kids train you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean train tracks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids train pranks.

Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.
Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?
Dude2: You dont want to do that.
Dude1: Why?
Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

Train Tracks

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking through a forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
"They must be a set of polar bear tracks," says the blonde.
"No, no, they are a set of deer tracks," says the brunette.
The red head then exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? Polar bear! This is a forest not the North Pole! A deer is understandable, but these are train tracks!"
They were still arguing when they were mauled by a polar bear.

Faithful dog for sale

Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.
- Hey, I saw your offer for a good natured dog, I have a couple of questions.
- Shoot.
- He good with kids?
- Very. He's kind and gentle and has endless patience.
- yard dog or house dog?
- House trained but loves the yard as well.
- Cool. Last, is he really faithful?
- Oh yeah, very faithful. This is the fifth time I'm selling him.

A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study

A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study so his old man buys him a sports car to drive around. A few days pass and the father calls the son.
\- Hows it going son? Having fun with your car?
\- No father. I am ashamed, everyone here gets around by train.
\- Dont embarrass me son. Buy yourself a train too.

I know what you did

A little kid is often picking his nose. His mother tells him: "Honey, don't do this". The little kid asks "why?". The mother wants to think of some excuse so she says: "because... when you do it, then when you grow up, you will be fat like our neighbour next door."

After some time the little kid is in a subway train and spots a pregnant woman there. He starts to wink and point to her belly.

"Why do you do that?" asks the woman.

The little kid winks again: "I know what you did."

What's the difference between a t**... training compound and a kids birthday party?

I don't know man, I'm just the drone pilot.

I always wanted to become the world's youngest Elvis impersonator. My childhood was nonstop guitar practice voice training and dance class. I went to countless auditions before ever hitting puberty My performance was flawless but every time but every audition ended the same way...

... they looked me right in my face & said sorry kid you don't have the Chops.

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.

To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher.
"Winnie-the-s**...!"