Kids Train Jokes
26 kids train jokes and hilarious kids train puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids train that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kids Train Short Jokes
Short kids train jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids train humour may include short kids knock jokes also.
- I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids. I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.
- It's the year 2295... Dude: I'm a classically trained guitarist.
Neo-90s Kid: Radical!
Dude: So anyway, here's Wonderwall. - I always tell my kids to stay well clear of any Train tracks... ...except "Drops of Jupiter". That one's ok.
- DAD JOKE!! Oh look kids, a train just passed here.
Gee dad how can you tell that?
Well look, you can see it's tracks!!! - Pulled a gyspy girl last night, she asked if i wanted to go back to hers for a good time She wasn't kidding, I went on the dodgems, waltzers, ghost train and came home with a goldfish
- A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!
- As a kid I could never understand why my mother would not let me play near the train tracks across the street from my house. Then it hit me.
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Kids Train One Liners
Which kids train one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids train? I can suggest the ones about kids animal and school children.
- What do you call pushing your kid out of a moving train? Child Caboose
- Why are trains so chill with where their kids are? They can simply 'track' them.
- As a kid I always wanted to be a conductor ... Now I think it requires too much training.
- What do you call a Kid that is p**... trained by 3 months old? a w**... kid
- How does the karate kid train with his girlfriend? Wax on, fap off.
Comical Kids Train Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about kids train you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean train tracks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids train pranks.
Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny
>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.
Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?
Dude2: You dont want to do that.
Dude1: Why?
Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are toy trains similar to b**...?
Both are made for kids but dad is the one who gets the most out of them
Faithful dog for sale
Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.
- Hey, I saw your offer for a good natured dog, I have a couple of questions.
- Shoot.
- He good with kids?
- Very. He's kind and gentle and has endless patience.
- yard dog or house dog?
- House trained but loves the yard as well.
- Cool. Last, is he really faithful?
- Oh yeah, very faithful. This is the fifth time I'm selling him.
A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study
A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study so his old man buys him a sports car to drive around. A few days pass and the father calls the son.
\- Hows it going son? Having fun with your car?
\- No father. I am ashamed, everyone here gets around by train.
\- Dont embarrass me son. Buy yourself a train too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Netflix announced another karate kid spinoff, this time the dojo trains insufferable whiney entitled children.
It's called cobra Caillou.
I always wanted to become the world's youngest Elvis impersonator. My childhood was nonstop guitar practice voice training and dance class. I went to countless auditions before ever hitting puberty My performance was flawless but every time but every audition ended the same way...
... they looked me right in my face & said sorry kid you don't have the Chops.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.
To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher.
"Winnie-the-s**...!"
The Pig.
A man was walking in the country and saw a pig with a wooden leg sitting outside a barn. As he was pondering this, the pig's owner came along. The man asked the farmer how the pig got his wooden leg.
The farmer said, "Let me tell you, that is some pig! Our house caught fire last May, and he dragged my kids to safety!"
"Is that how he lost his leg?" the man asked.
"No," replied the farmer. "But a month ago, I almost drowned and that pig swam through icy water to pull me to shore!"
"So that's how he lost his leg," the man asked.
"Oh, no. And just a week ago, my wife's car slid off the road onto the train tracks. That pig broke through the window and helped her out just as a freight train came through!"
"So THAT'S how he lost his leg!" the man said.
"No, sir." "Then HOW did he lose it?" the man begged.
"Well sir," the farmer replied, "when you got a pig that terrific, you don't want to eat it all at once."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.