The Best 35 Kids Story Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kids Story jokes. There are some kids story short stories jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kids story ghost stories puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kids Story Jokes and Puns

Mom, how did I come to this world?

A kid asked his mother:

\- Mom, how did I come to this world?

\- Me and your father planted a seed together - began telling the story the mother.

\- From that seed - she continued - we grew marijuana plant, then smoked some weed and had sex on the washing machine...

Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids

Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.

She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok

Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.

Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds

Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names?

Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!

Kid: What about Donner?

*A dark countenance settles on Santa's face*

Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

I saw a story about parents selling their kids on Ebay...

This is completely nuts, who does that? That's a child. A living being that **you** made. That stuff goes on Etsy.

My brother broke down crying and told me about how he was abused by a priest when we were kids.

It was a very touching story.

Not a joke, just a story with a reminder to be careful when telling jokes...

I heard a joke a few weeks ago that went, "What do you do when an epileptic is having a fit in the bath? Throw your washing in."

I decided to repeat the joke in work today to a few of my customers (I work in a pub) and when I finished, one guy got really mad at me. He screamed that I shouldn't tell jokes like that because his brother died in the bath as a kid while having an epileptic fit.

I asked, "Did he drown?"

The guy was furious and said, "No, he choked on a sock!"

There was once a man who had 100 kids.

There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. Dad, I'm going to go feed This. Hey dad, I'm taking This for a walk. One day, This went missing. The kids went out to search for him, when they saw him on the side of the road, with skid marks all over his body. Years later, the kids still remembered and missed This.
Moral of the story:
Only 90s kids will remember This.

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn't laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I've persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she's in labor with our fourth and I've finally got her laughing...

...I think I've really improved the delivery!

(True Story: Today is baby number four, and this is basically the same lame joke I told/posted when our last child was born. Dad jokes 4TW!)

Everyone thinks its cute when a kid wants to be a pirate

But when a Somalian kid says he wants to be a pirate it's a different story

You can explore kids story stories reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kids story girl dad jokes. There are also kids story puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

An old mountaineer and his ex-wife...

were fighting over custody of their kids. The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them. The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb?

It's blowing up

A five year old kid went to his father and asked where did he come from?

The father was taken by surprise but thought maybe the new generation is way more precocious than he thought and one day he will have to tell the kid everything anyway so why not then, so he told him everything honestly. The kid listened to the whole story mesmerized.

In the end the father asked 'why do you suddenly wanted to know these things?'

'Oh nothing, the kid replied 'there's a new kid in our class, he told me that he came from New York. I just wanted to know where did I come from?'

The Little Horse: An Inspirational Children's Story

[Parents, read this to your kids. I expect to see results. The last part is funnier with a long pause and not adding anything onto it, including context. I have no idea where I heard this one, but let me just say that while the concept is not mine, I did a whole lot of tweaking. Just a warning, it's super long, but it is meant to keep your interest as long as possible, so it's almost a legit story.]

Dave worked at a circus school...

Normally, he teaches kids how to juggle or do cartwheels but it wasn't all that interesting.
One day, he decides to teach the kids something a bit more exciting so he brought in a cannon.

Long story short - he was fired.

That kid didn't really find a lost Mayan city. The sites that promoted the story?

I guess they'll issue a...

Maya culpa.

Do you think when Caitlyn Jenner tries to tell badass stories to her kids they see right through her?

Because she's transparent?

*ba dun tsk*

Graduation unlike before

2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.

My friend asked if I could help him write a bedtime story for his kids.

I thought "what a novel idea".

I had a customer tonight with allergies [true story]

Rude Customer: Can you just make sure there's no nuts in my food? I can't eat nuts.
Me: Sure! My sister Anna can't eat nuts either. You might know her?
Customer: Oh?
Me: Anna-phallactic?
Customer: Oh.
Me: Just kidding, I don't have a sister.
Customer: Oh?
Me: She died. She ate some nuts and died.

My highschool teacher just became a grandfather

True story, a little background I had a teacher in highschool that I kept up with after graduation, he is also a little Aspergery.

So I just found out that he became a grandfather so I asked him What are you gonna have the kid call you ie grandad, grandpa, gramps etc... And in complete seriousness he responds with
"He's not gonna call me anything he can't talk"

I was shocked by that story of the parents who kept even their adult children captive in the house.

Personally, I couldn't wait for my kids to leave.

Grandpa proudly tells stories from WWII to his grand-kids...

Grandpa says: Once, Nazis trapped me and asked me: "Do you want to suck our dicks, or do you want us to kill you?"

Kids were all excited and asked him: "So...? What did you chose?"

Grandpa says: Death....

Teaching a kid about animals and asked her: "Which animal is the largest animal in the world?"

She replied: "You."

(True story, just happened minutes ago while tutoring a kid. *Cries*)

From an old Batman story

Batman: When you're in trouble, what can you always count on?

Mom: Your family?

Kid: Batman?

Batman: Your fingers

I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it, and survived

Why don't we just build the whole plane out of that kid?

Heart melting love story: Boy: My wife & 2 kids.

Heart melting love story:
Boy: I can't marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl: Who r they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids.

As a kid I got a dark brown Labrador puppy for my birthday..

It's a really sad story, we had to euthanize him..

I wanted a light brown one

When your school takes tposing seriously

When a kid tposes - 6 days suspension
When a kid calls in bomb threat - 5 days suspension
True story

So I heard Thailand saved some kids who were spelunking?

So now that they are safe are we going back to all the news stories of people spelunking in young Thai kids?

My diabetic kids love the stories i tell them from when i used to work at the sugar factory

They just eat it up

I wanted to name our kid Jonathan but my wife insisted we name him something funny

Long story short i now have a kid named Something Funny Smith

Do you know the story of the twenty-kids dwarf ?

It's a short one, but a good one.

A story of 6 year old kid.

Teacher : How old is your father?

Kid : He is 6 years old.

Teacher: What ? How is this possible ?

Kid: He became father only when I was born.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kids story leg lamp jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kids story anthology piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes