The Best 35 Kids Santa Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kids Santa jokes. There are some kids santa santa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kids santa misprinted puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kids Santa Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia?

He sold his soul to Santa.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid...

I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.

When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.

Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!


In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...

"Because they make the toys."

Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names?

Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!

Kid: What about Donner?

*A dark countenance settles on Santa's face*

Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus

Both of my parents died in a car crash when I was a kid.

Not only did I lose my parents, but Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny all forgot about me that year too.

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house

This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate

One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa?

Because they make the toys.

You can explore kids santa santas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kids santa krampus dad jokes. There are also kids santa puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids?

He only comes once a year

If you want to save money this Christmas.

Now is the perfect time to tell the kids.

Santa didn't make it through the pandemic..

How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus?

Because they're the ones that make the toys.

Why Hasn't Santa got any kids?

He only comes once a year and that's down a chimney

My kids said I'm like Santa...

They stopped believing in me years ago.

How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents

Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.

What did the Jewish Santa say when going down the chimney?

Hey kids! Wanna buy some presents?!

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.


I don't like Santa

He gives all the expensive gifts only to the rich kids

When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come.

Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.

Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids?

Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney.

Mall Santa

A Mall Santa is asking kids what they want for Christmas.

A little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa replies, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"

"No silly. Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She's only faking it with Ken."

Why don't kids in China believe in Santa Claus?

They make the toys.

I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid....

But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang.

Christmas night

One night as santa was doing his usual job of putting gifts under the Christmas tree a kid woke up and asked Santa
"Santa? Why are your sacks so big?"
"Because i come once a year"

I remember the Christmas I found out Santa wasn't real

I wish my parents has warned me because my kids were really disappointed christmas morning

A kid sees Santa at a mall

and says: give me a brother

Santa: give me your mother!

I found a dead deer by the side of the road.

So I went back later dressed as Santa and flagged people over telling them I needed a ride. Their kids in the back seat went berserk!

So I was talking to a Christian mother

We were talking and she said "I tell my kids Santa doesn't exist, I don't want them to believe in stuff that isn't real."

A jewish Santa enters an house and asks...

"OK kids, what do you want to buy ?"

Why Doesn't Santa Have Any Kids?

Because he comes down the chimney.

Why does Santa not have any kids? NSFW

Because when he comes once a year, it's down the chimney

How do you save money this christmas?

Tell the kids santa didnt make it through covid-19

A boy opens up his presents under the Christmas tree

With disappointment he exclaims, "Santa sucks he didn't get me the Xbox I wanted instead he got me a stupid sweater."

Father:"Now, now son, you should feel lucky to have that sweater. There are kids around the world who need that sweater more than they need than the Xbox I accidentally sent out."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kids santa trick treating jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kids santa tracking santa piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes