Kids Santa Jokes
87 kids santa jokes and hilarious kids santa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids santa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kids Santa Short Jokes
Short kids santa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids santa humour may include short christmas kid jokes also.
- I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- When Santa enters a house to give stuff to kids he's a hero and a amazingly kind man When I do it I get arrested for trespassing and being a child predator
- If you want to save money this Christmas. Now is the perfect time to tell the kids.
Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.. - How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus? Because they're the ones that make the toys.
- How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
- What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.
- When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.
- I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid.... But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang.
- Christmas night One night as santa was doing his usual job of putting gifts under the Christmas tree a kid woke up and asked Santa
"Santa? Why are your sacks so big?"
"Because i come once a year" - I remember the Christmas I found out Santa wasn't real I wish my parents has warned me because my kids were really disappointed christmas morning
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Kids Santa One Liners
Which kids santa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids santa? I can suggest the ones about childrens christmas and kids christmas.
- Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa.
- why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa? They're making all the toys
- What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
- My kids said I'm like Santa... They stopped believing in me years ago.
- I don't like Santa He gives all the expensive gifts only to the rich kids
- Some kids are afraid of Santa. They suffer from Claus-trophobia.
- A kid sees Santa at a mall and says: give me a brother
Santa: give me your mother! - A jewish Santa enters an house and asks... "OK kids, what do you want to buy ?"
- Why do kids in Colorado get more presents? Because Santa likes their cookies more.
- Where does Santa get presents for bad kids? Kohl's.
- Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids? Because it'd Krampus style.
- I don't believe Santa only comes once a year. With all those kids sitting on his lap.
- Why doesn't Santa Claus have kids? He only came once a year and it was down the chimney.
- Why do only good kids get Christmas presents? Because Santa comes with a Clause
- Financially trouble people, how do you explain your kids why Santa skipped your Trailer
Kids Santa Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about kids santa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids santa pranks.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
Why do israelian kids leave out cookies and milk on Christmas?
Because they believe Santa Israel.
Santa Claus is reading letters from kids
Santa opens first letter: Oh Peter from USA needs new iPad.
Santa opens second letter: Oh Naomi from Japan needs new Samsung phone.
Santa opens third letter: Oh Isa Ahmed from Nigeria wants me to help him to get 32 million dollars out of the country.
What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?
new gloves for the cold days
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wy does santa have so many kids?
he has all the h**... h**... h**...'s
We're at the mall and noticed none of the kids can sit on Santa's lap.
I'm not sure why, there's probably some Claus against it...
Santa is like fathers...
He only comes when the kids are asleep
Why Santa doesn't give gifts to African kids?
Because he gives gifts only to kids who eat well.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not safe for kids
Your parents are Santa clause AND the tooth fairy.
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Christmas always s**... when I was a kid...
I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My s**... life is like Santa Claus.
-Why? Doesn't it exists?
-No, it exist, because of naive 6 yo kids..
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Why santa cant have kids?
Because his sack is a toy
when kids ask me who is santa claus , i tell them .....
he is santa phrase brother . xD
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy opens up his presents under the Christmas tree
With disappointment he exclaims, "Santa s**... he didn't get me the Xbox I wanted instead he got me a s**... sweater."
Father:"Now, now son, you should feel lucky to have that sweater. There are kids around the world who need that sweater more than they need than the Xbox I accidentally sent out."
I know why Santa is jolly.
Because he knows where all the naughty foster kids are.
Dear Kids, there is no Santa.
Those presents are from your parents.
Love, Julian Assange - *WikiLeaks*.
So I was talking to a Christian mother
We were talking and she said "I tell my kids Santa doesn't exist, I don't want them to believe in stuff that isn't real."
I found a dead deer by the side of the road.
So I went back later dressed as Santa and flagged people over telling them I needed a ride. Their kids in the back seat went berserk!
Why do kids yell "No" when they see Santa?
There's no "el."
How do you ruin a kid's childhood with three words?
"Santa's not real"
So, the cops are going to be at my house Christmas Eve thanks to my kids
They know that Santa's on his way. He's loaded.
Why do kids think Black Panther is Santa Claus?
Just saw a 3 years old kid
wearing a shirt on which was written "Santa doesn't exist, but thats okay cuz I can't read"
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What did Santa ask for Cristimas?
To r**... all >!resources for !
Why does Santa not ask for help in giving countless gifts to countless kids?
because he's an independent Claus.
Sorry kids, you won't get your Christmas gifts in time this year.
Santa is with Amazon Logistics now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kid: "Dear Santa, I want a younger brother for Christmas."
Santa: "Send me your mom."
It's impossible persuading kids these days to write to Santa. They simply don't believe in the existence...
...of letters.
Santa's kid really likes studying language
We call him Subordinate Claus.
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Why do kids get excited for Santa and not Jesus on his birthday?
Santa brings ipads, Jesus brings armageddon. Seems simple.
How does Santa have enough in his sack to come for millions of little kids, but more astonishingly....
how does he not get arrested?
I saw a kid freaking out on Santa's lap
I guess he was claus-traphobic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of b**..., like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.
Thank you Jesus!
In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...
"Because they make the toys."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Both of my parents died in a car c**... when I was a kid.
Not only did I lose my parents, but Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter bunny all forgot about me that year too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa?
Cause they're the ones who make the toys
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa?
Because they make the toys.
Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names?
Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!
Kid: What about Donner?
*A dark countenance settles on Santa's face*
Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...
The holidays are the most frightening time of the year for me.
I was a little dyslexic as a kid, and when I was a teen I started dabbling in the dark arts.
I think I sold my soul to Santa.
Every year when the jingle bells start ringing, I get nervous. It could be the elves coming for me.
Kids
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don't worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know the cookie fell on the floor?
