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Kids Santa Jokes

92 kids santa jokes and hilarious kids santa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids santa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Kids Santa Short Jokes

Short kids santa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids santa humour may include short christmas kid jokes also.

  1. I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
  2. When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.
  3. When Santa enters a house to give stuff to kids he's a hero and a amazingly kind man When I do it I get arrested for trespassing and being a child predator
  4. If you want to save money this Christmas. Now is the perfect time to tell the kids.
    Santa didn't make it through the pandemic..
  5. How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus? Because they're the ones that make the toys.
  6. How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
  7. What did the Jewish Santa say when going down the chimney? Hey kids! Wanna buy some presents?!
  8. What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.
  9. When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.
  10. Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney.

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Kids Santa One Liners

Which kids santa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids santa? I can suggest the ones about childrens christmas and kids christmas.

  1. Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa.
  2. why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa? They're making all the toys
  3. Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa? Cause they're the ones who make the toys
  4. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
  5. Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa? Because they make the toys.
  6. Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? He only comes once a year
  7. Why Hasn't Santa got any kids?
    He only comes once a year and that's down a chimney
  8. My kids said I'm like Santa... They stopped believing in me years ago.
  9. I don't like Santa He gives all the expensive gifts only to the rich kids
  10. Why don't kids in China believe in Santa Claus? They make the toys.
  11. Some kids are afraid of Santa. They suffer from Claus-trophobia.
  12. A kid sees Santa at a mall and says: give me a brother

    Santa: give me your mother!
  13. A jewish Santa enters an house and asks... "OK kids, what do you want to buy ?"
  14. Why Doesn't Santa Have Any Kids? Because he comes down the chimney.
  15. How do you save money this christmas? Tell the kids santa didnt make it through covid-19

Kids Santa Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about kids santa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids santa pranks.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!

The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.

When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Mall Santa

A Mall Santa is asking kids what they want for Christmas.
A little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa replies, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"
"No silly. Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She's only faking it with Ken."

Why do kids in Colorado get more presents?

Because Santa likes their cookies more.

Santa Claus is reading letters from kids

Santa opens first letter: Oh Peter from USA needs new iPad.
Santa opens second letter: Oh Naomi from Japan needs new Samsung phone.
Santa opens third letter: Oh Isa Ahmed from Nigeria wants me to help him to get 32 million dollars out of the country.

I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid....

But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang.

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

We're at the mall and noticed none of the kids can sit on Santa's lap.

I'm not sure why, there's probably some Claus against it...

Santa is like fathers...

He only comes when the kids are asleep

Get a brother

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Christmas always s**... when I was a kid...

I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.

My s**... life is like Santa Claus.

-Why? Doesn't it exists?
-No, it exist, because of naive 6 yo kids..

Why santa cant have kids?

Because his sack is a toy

Do you know why santa has no kids?

Because he only comes once a year and it's always down a chimney

when kids ask me who is santa claus , i tell them .....

he is santa phrase brother . xD

Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

A boy opens up his presents under the Christmas tree

With disappointment he exclaims, "Santa s**... he didn't get me the Xbox I wanted instead he got me a s**... sweater."
Father:"Now, now son, you should feel lucky to have that sweater. There are kids around the world who need that sweater more than they need than the Xbox I accidentally sent out."

A man goes through 4 phases when its christmas in his life.

Kid - he believes in santa
Teenager - he stopped believing in santa
Dad - he is santa
Granddad - he looks like santa

Dear Kids, there is no Santa.

Those presents are from your parents.
Love, Julian Assange - *WikiLeaks*.

So I was talking to a Christian mother

We were talking and she said "I tell my kids Santa doesn't exist, I don't want them to believe in stuff that isn't real."

I found a dead deer by the side of the road.

So I went back later dressed as Santa and flagged people over telling them I needed a ride. Their kids in the back seat went berserk!

I remember the Christmas I found out Santa wasn't real

I wish my parents has warned me because my kids were really disappointed christmas morning

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents
One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house
This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate
One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

So, the cops are going to be at my house Christmas Eve thanks to my kids

They know that Santa's on his way. He's loaded.

Why do kids think Black Panther is Santa Claus?

Just saw a 3 years old kid

wearing a shirt on which was written "Santa doesn't exist, but thats okay cuz I can't read"

What did Santa ask for Cristimas?

To r**... all >!resources for !

Why does Santa not ask for help in giving countless gifts to countless kids?

because he's an independent Claus.

You know why Santa doesn't have any kids of his own?

Because he's always coming down chimneys.

Santa's kid really likes studying language

We call him Subordinate Claus.

Why do kids get excited for Santa and not Jesus on his birthday?

Santa brings ipads, Jesus brings armageddon. Seems simple.

How does Santa have enough in his sack to come for millions of little kids, but more astonishingly....

how does he not get arrested?

I saw a kid freaking out on Santa's lap

I guess he was claus-traphobic

Financially trouble people, how do you explain your kids why Santa skipped your

Trailer

Why do only good kids get Christmas presents?

Because Santa comes with a Clause

Why doesn't Santa Claus have kids?

He only came once a year and it was down the chimney.

I don't believe Santa only comes once a year.

With all those kids sitting on his lap.

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of b**..., like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

I remember the Christmas I found out Santa wasn't real.

I wish somebody had warned me because my kids were really disappointed.

In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...

"Because they make the toys."

Christmas night

One night as santa was doing his usual job of putting gifts under the Christmas tree a kid woke up and asked Santa
"Santa? Why are your sacks so big?"
"Because i come once a year"

Both of my parents died in a car c**... when I was a kid.

Not only did I lose my parents, but Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter bunny all forgot about me that year too.

Why doesn't Santa have kids?

Because he only comes once a year and it's down your chimney.

When I was a kid, I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy

Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that nonsense any more, thank God.

Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names?

Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!
Kid: What about Donner?
*A dark countenance settles on Santa's face*
Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

Christmas

Why can't Santa have kids?
He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney.

The holidays are the most frightening time of the year for me.

I was a little dyslexic as a kid, and when I was a teen I started dabbling in the dark arts.
I think I sold my soul to Santa.
Every year when the jingle bells start ringing, I get nervous. It could be the elves coming for me.

Kids

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don't worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know the cookie fell on the floor?

jokes about kids santa