Kids Knock Jokes

39 kids knock jokes and hilarious kids knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Kids Knock Short Jokes

Short kids knock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids knock humour may include short kid knees jokes also.

  1. my kid asked if he could buy a chemistry set to make chloroform. I said sure, knock yourself out.
  2. (A joke my 3 y/o nephew came up with) Kiddo: knock knock
    Mom: who's there?
    Kid: Daddy. Because I locked the door. *laughs hysterically*
  3. My son accidentally invented the end-all-be-all of kid jokes Knock knock
    \-- Who's there?
    \-- Chicken who?
    Chicken from across the road
  4. If doors could procreate, they'd have a lot of kids considering that they're always getting knocked up.
  5. An 11 year old boy just told me his anti-vaxx joke Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Unvaccinated kid!
    Unvaccinated kid who?
    Oh never mind, it's an open casket f**....
  6. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the p**... off the smart ones.

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Kids Knock One Liners

Which kids knock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids knock? I can suggest the ones about child knock knock and kid knock knock.

  1. Knock Knock Who's there?
    Hawaii Who?
    I'm good how are you?
    Kids are too funny!
  2. If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
    Out for the count!
  3. My kid's favourite Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Europe who?
    No, you're a p**...!
  4. For the kids... Knock knock
    Who's there
    I eat mop
    I eat mop who (I eat mah p**...)

Fun-Filled Kids Knock Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about kids knock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knock knock kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids knock pranks.

A salesman knocks on a door and a 10 year old kid answers drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette...

The salesman is shocked but he asks the kid: Excuse me young man is your mother or father home?
The kid looks at him, takes a drag from the cigarette and says, What do you think?

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

A neighbor's wife knocks on the door

She says "Your kids can't play with our children any more."
"Why?" the man asks, shocked.
"They keeping on calling the other kids gay, you should watch your language around them!"
The man replies "They couldn't have learned it from me, otherwise they would have been calling them faggots"

A Knock knock joke as told by my 4year old

Him: Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Him trying not to laugh at his own joke:Tacos!
Me: Tacos who?
Him with glee: No silly tacos don't go who they go crunch crunch!
The Kid's going places I tell ya.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?
A brick falls from the sky and kills her.
Knock knock Who's there?
Not Mary

A travelling salesman knocks on a door, which is opened by a 12 year old in a bathrobe, holding a cigar and a snifter of cognac

The salesman is shocked, but manages to say, "Excuse me, is your dad home?"
The kid responds, "What the h**... do you think?"

A FedEx guy knocks on the door....

A FedEx guy knocks on the door. A little kid answers, n**... except underpants, smoking a joint & holding half a bottle of Scotch.
FedEx guy says "Kid, is your mother home?"
The kid says "What do *you* think?"

For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...

~ Who's there?
~ You know
~ you know who?
*avada kedavra!*
Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.

Kid failing English

A kid is failing English, and the teacher sends multiple notes home requesting to speak with his parents but doesn't get a response. One Saturday, the teacher decides to stop by the kid's house. When she knocks on the door, the kid answers.
Teacher: "Hi, Johnny, can I speak to your mother?"
Kid: "She ain't home."
Teacher (frustrated): "Well can I speak to your father?"
Kid: "He ain't home."
Teacher (more frustrated): "Young man, where's your grammar?"
Kid: "She's in the kitchen bakin' cookies"


Is your mother home? the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this ain't where I live.


Why did Suzy fall of the swings?
Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Suzy.
What did Suzy get for Christmas?
Ha Ha just kidding that's mean
We actually don't know she hasn't opened it yet.

God wants to take a vacation

But he has no idea where to go. His archangel, Michael, is helping him decide.
"How about Pluto?" He asks
"Nah, it's too cold there."
"Well, what about Saturn?"
"Nah, not a fan of the rings."
"Well then how about Earth?"
"Are you kidding me? I vacationed there 2,000 years ago, accidentally knocked this chick up, and they're still talking about it!"

the day after halloween, a trick or treater knocked on my door.....

he was dressed in just red tights and a red spandex shirt, red sneakers, red hat.
i said to him, "sorry little buddy, halloween is over, i dont have anything for you today...what are you supposed to be anyway>?"
he said "im a period, sorry im late..scared ya didnt i?"

needless to say he got a handfull of candy from one of my kids bags. how could you not reward that creativity?

My kids favorite knock knock joke

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C..**MOO!!**
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Chicken.
*sigh* Interrupting Ch **BOCK BOCK BOCK!!!!**
Knock Knock
*sigh* Whose there?
Interrupting Fish.
*ponders* Interrupting F.. *SLAP! SLAP!* OW!!!

I heard this joke at a new museum opening in DC, told by a five year old:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Donut who?
Donut ask me, it's a secret.
That kid has a bright future of dad jokes ahead of him

Salesman's promise

A salesman knocked at the door and a woman answers. The salesman barges in and scatters fresh h**... all around the living room floor and the carpet.
The woman is shocked and her kids are amused.
The salesman confidently says, Do not worry. I am selling this brand new extra power vacuum cleaner. If it cannot clean up all this s**... in 15 mins, I will eat it all myself.
The woman smiles and says, Very well, so would you like some ketchup or salt with it, because the power is out since morning.. .
(An oldie but I am shopping for vacuum cleaners and this joke has been popping up in my mind.)

Want to hear a knock knock joke?

A: "Want to hear a knock knock joke?"
B: "Yeah sure."
A: "Ok great. You start it up."
B: "Ok. Knock knock."
A: "Who's there?"
B: Confused silence... Dawning comprehension...
My dad got me with this when I was a kid. I think it's pretty great.

A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door

>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"
>"I bin Hong Kong!"
>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"
>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"
Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!

After a long night at the pub I knocked on the door quietly so I wouldn't wake the kids. I stood there and hoped that my wife was awake, then when there was no sign of her I shouted "Let me in!"

A man opened the door, and said, "Sir, please step away from my taxi."

A pizza man is delivering my pizza

I hear a knock on the door, so I say
"Who is it?"
The pizza guy replies
"The pizza delivery man"
I respond
"The pizza delivery man who?"
The pizza guy responds
"Come on kid! I have your pizza, and it's raining out here. Get the pizza already!"
I reply
"That's the best you got? You really need to work on your delivery"

So my 5yo kid is mad at the world this evening and he comes up with this masterpiece:

Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: Nothing.
Me: (struggling to maintain a straight face) Nothing who?
Him: Don't. Say. Anything.

An Awful Joke I Heard as a Kid.

A bunch of boys knock on a door and when a woman answers they ask her, "Can Johnny come out and play baseball with us?"
The woman says, "You boys know Johnny doesn't have any arms and legs."
"We know," they say, "we just wand to use him for second base."

Kid looking for odd jobs comes to a guys door

"Hey mister" he starts out, "I'm looking for some work for pocket money over the holidays".
Impressed by the youngster's work ethic the man says "Sure son; there's a few tins of paint in the garage. Go get them and paint the porch and I'll give you $20"
4 hours later there was a knock on the man's door by a paint spattered youth holding his hand out for payment who says "I've finished and by the way that's not a porch it's a BMW"

A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "

Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"

Russian knock-knock jokes (A Latvian Joke Tribute Song)

In light of recent political tensions, my girlfriend's dad and I sat down and tried to come up with some Russian knock-knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Potato who?
Just kidding, is secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ukraine who?
Ukraine your neck left, see secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Putin who?
Putin your family is Gulag for asking so many question.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Secret police.
Secret police who?
If I told you, wouldn't be secret.

jokes about kids knock