You see, it used to get cold outside
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted
I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.
I thought, fuck me, I might win this
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
You're coming home now! she screamed.
No, I'm not, I laughed.
She said, I'm talking to the kids.
So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead
Social security
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.
"...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
"I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you Medellín kids"
Little bastards didn't stand a chance…
Verb, not adjective
But when I came back home, they were still there.
She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."
When I was ten-years-old, I saw two dogs shagging in the street and asked my Mum what they were doing.
Dancing, she replied.
The first school dance I went to, I got fucking expelled.
We think the doctor would do a way better job than us
Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have sex with kids.
Is , my lawyer replied.
It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.
Popped on here to check messages while the kettle boils.
The Black Plague
Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
Affordable housing prices
Kid 1: I bet you're a virgin
Kid 2: I was a virgin, until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
Turns out it was just clique bait.
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
Apparently she left me two days ago.
They're really for the kids, but the dads always end up playing with them
I think all kids should be forced to read it.
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