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Kids Fish Jokes

28 kids fish jokes and hilarious kids fish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kids fish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Kids Fish Short Jokes

Short kids fish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kids fish humour may include short kids animal jokes also.

  1. I couldn't afford to take the kids to SeaWorld... So I took them to the fish market and said "Shhh, they're sleeping".
  2. I couldn't afford to take my kids to Sea World. So I took them to our local fish market, saying, "Shhhh... they're all asleep."
  3. One of the kids I'm tutoring told me this joke today: What maths subject do fish study? Algaebra
  4. If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day but... if you teach a kid how to make pop tarts your job as a parent is pretty much done
  5. Early finish for me today so I rang the wife and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home. She clearly still regrets letting me name the kids....
  6. What did the fish say when he hit a wall? >!"Dam!"!<
     
     
     
    What did the dam say when the fish hit it?
    >!"You dumb bass!"!<
     
     
     
    Every kid I tell this to rolls!
  7. Why are there so many more kids working in fishing than on ranches? Because everyone knows children should be seine and not herd.
  8. (taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships
  9. The most intellectual joke I never got as a kid: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish
  10. A divers reached 300 meters under the sea Diver : the pressure here is immense
    Fish : all the cool kids take drugs
    Diver : all the cool kids you say?

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Kids Fish One Liners

Which kids fish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kids fish? I can suggest the ones about fish catch and kids chicken.

  1. Why do priests love to go fishing with kids? So they have someone to hold their rod.
  2. do you like fish-sticks? So does my kid.
  3. Philip the jewish kid hated fishing. No one could ever getPhilta fish.

Share Hilarious Kids Fish Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about kids fish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kids fish pranks.

Chicken for Supper

So this kid gets home around 6 and his dad asks "where were you?" The kid replies "at my girlfriends studying." The dad says "ok come sit down supper is ready." After a few minutes the kid says "This is great fish dad." The dad replies "Go wash your hands, it's chicken."

A Texas Salesman

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.

The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?" 

My kids favorite knock knock joke

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C..**MOO!!**
.
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Chicken.
*sigh* Interrupting Ch **BOCK BOCK BOCK!!!!**
.
Knock Knock
*sigh* Whose there?
Interrupting Fish.
*ponders* Interrupting F.. *SLAP! SLAP!* OW!!!

There is an isolated indigenous tribe that lives in the Amazon.

What's interesting about them is that in their language they only have words for numbers 1 and 2, and every number higher than 2 is just 'many'. You have 3 kids? You have many kids, You caught 20 fish? You caught many fish.
I guess trying to come up with words for three numbers was just one too many.

A teenage boy and his grandfather were fishing one day.

While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The boy acknowledges this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, "Gramps, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with too many kids when you were young did they?" The grandfather replies, "Nope." The teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for birth control?" The old guy replies, "A wedding ring."

What did the father say when fishing with his kid?

With him as a bait, i might catch something good.

Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole.


The next door neighbor saw him and asked;
"Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?"
"My goldfish died, and I have to bury it."
"Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?"
"Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your s**... cat!"

My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad.
Ted asked if she was going to use worms.
"No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."

Little jimmys mom told him that if he ever did a bad thing as punishment he would turn to stone....

One day jimmy went down to the pond with him friend Billy to fish when they saw a beautiful woman n**... swimming in the pond the two kids watched in awe when suddenly jimmy ran away scarred
Jimmy ran home to his mom crying saying "sorry I did a bad thing!" "What did you do asked jimmy's mom?" Jimmy wiped away a tear and said "I saw a n**... lady in the pond and I got scarred because I started to feel like I was turning to stone so I ran."

A catholic priest and an Indian named John...

One Friday afternoon on the reservation John and his family were starving. John, being a great hunter, went out and killed a deer to feed his wife and kids.

A catholic priest sees this and says, "John! What are you doing? You cannot eat meat on a Friday!"

John says to the priest, "It's not meat, it's fish!"

The priest couldn't believe his ears. He quickly replied, "It is meat and you should not tell lies, John!"

John says, "I assure you father, it is fish."

Cofused and curious the father ask John, "Why do you say it is fish?"

John says, "I sprinkled water on it and I said from meat you become fish."

The priest yells at John, "You cannot do that!"

John says, "Why not father? When I met you I was Mapuche, then you sprinkled water on me and I became John."

Santa's Jokes

Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.